a gain? that sucks!

Yeah, I'm up one pound this week. I know this week has been less than stellar...and I honestly feel quite bloated and yucky. Think that TOM thing is looming. Maybe that's all it is?

Anyway, my goal for this week is to be more diligent in my tracking. I know that I slacked a little there last week. And I do want to get back to getting in those walks. That may be an issue since we are supposed to get a storm tonight and tomorrow. I was going to get up this morning and walk, but Kelli was in my bed and I didn't sleep well. I think I must have turned my alarm off instead of just hitting the snooze.

So now instead of being just inside my last 5 pounds, I am just over the last 5 pounds. It is still my goal to get that done in the next 2 weeks. YIKES! That is a lot.

It was so fun to see my blog friend the law student at my meeting this morning. She is too cute and really fun. It was cool to link my cyber weight loss world with my real life a little bit. Since I feel so close to all of you sometimes. Getting a little sappy now. Must be TOM! LOL

OK. Gotta make Emma some waffles. I'm sure she'll want chocolate chips in them too. I already had my pumpkin bread so I need to NOT eat any waffles. Wish me luck with that!

pumpkin cookies

These are from Becky's blog. Totally simple...and pretty tasty, too.

1 spice cake mix
1 15 oz can pumpkin
3/4 c chocolate chips

Combine. Drop by spoonfuls on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 18-20 minutes. Makes 3 dozen cookies, 1 point each.

Hope you like them...anonymous!

the source of my stress

We as a family have been going through some stuff for the past few years. In fact, tomorrow is the third anniversary from really the start of a lot of issues for us. I don't need to go into it all now. Believe me, it's a long story that really barely makes sense to my hubby and I let alone our extended families, IRL friends or cyber friends.

I have been really struggling with it a lot this week. And my TOM is coming soon. I swear my oldest daughter has PMS as well even though she hasn't started that whole thing yet. The babies I nanny for and their family have had the flu. So I've been puked on and holding a little one nearly incessantly. Oh, and working a little extra so their mama could rest. And D, my husband, can't seem to shake the flu thing. He's not nearly as sick as I was. He's just been a little sick for like 2 weeks.

As I look back on my food journal this week, it hasn't been as crazy bad with the points as I would have thought. Kelli and Jack E both had their birthday last Saturday...so there was a chocolate cupcake...and lots of buttercream frosting. (Just can't do frosting from the can. Have you read the ingredients on that stuff? NASTY!!!)

But I have had some really bad snacks each afternoon this week. Like pretzels and spinach dip. Or Doritos. But then I really haven't eaten dinner afterwards. So less than the best nutrition, but it has kind of evened out. Today? I had some carrots, one of Becky's 1 point pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, and a 1 point chai for a snack. Much better choices.

I walked with my neighbor on Monday morning, but then she went out of town...and my motivation went with her. I stayed in bed til the last possible second each day. This morning I got up with D and the big boys who went to the farm. I hung out with my laptop even though I told myself I would walk this morning. After like an hour, I had a little epiphany. The food and exercise things are about the only things I really have control over right now. So I put on my sweats and sneakers and went for my walk. I just kept thinking about that the whole time I was out there. This walking thing...pushing myself...that is something that ONLY I can control. So when I feel like it's all falling down around me, I will committ to taking care of ME.

I will weigh in on Saturday morning like usual. Not sure how that will go. I am close to my WW goal. And then I joined in with Carolyn and Randi for a challenge to keep us all motivated through the holiday season. It is my goal to be at my high school weight by Christmas. And then to stay there for the new year, too! I think that is pretty amazing to think that at 37 and a mama to 6 kids that I could be back at that point. Not like I was thin then or anything. But it does feel good to wear a MEDIUM shirt...and find pants that easily fit and AREN'T in the "ladies" section of the store.

Rambling now...and it's time for me to start dinner. Just wanted to check in with you all and let you know that I have issues. But I am working through them the best I can.

lack of posting

There are times when I don't post much because life is just busy.

Then there are times like now when I feel totally off track and I just don't want to talk about it.

*sigh*

wow...my bathroom scale sucks!

I don't know you all do the weigh in at home. This morning I don't think I was really down at all from last week on my bathroom scale, but at my WW meeting I was down 1.8! So glad that is the official one! And I am now less than 5 pounds from my WW goal and less than 10 pounds from my personal/Christmas Challenge goal.

Oh. My. Gosh!!!

It's hard to believe that I am so close...and it feels sooooooo good.

At the beginning of Septeber, our leader asked us to set a goal for the end of October. SInce we are Saturday weighers, it's actually Noveber 3 for us. My discouraged goal at that point was to get back to my lowest so far which had been 158. After getting a little more motivated I decided to set my sights on starting Lifetime by that time. I have 3 weeks and 4.6 pounds to go. So exciting to know it's doable. And then I want to lose 5 more pounds before Christmas. That will take me back to around where I was in high school.

My leader today asked me why I want to get to that high school number. Honestly, part of my answer was "why not?" After 20 years and having 6 kids I think it would be fun to know that I weigh now what I did when I was 17 . Then, too, the highest weight on the WW chart for my hight (when I lied and said I was 5'5"!) is 150. My goal of 145 gives me 5 pounds of wiggle room.

What do you all think of that?

what was I thinking?

Going for a walk with a runner that is. Sure I was doing a nice long walk each morning for a few weeks a while back, but this chick usually JOGS so her pace is a little more than I am used to.

And it just goes to show, that even though I may weigh less than her, she is in waaaaay better shape than I am.

We're going again on Monday.

"Do you exercise?"

This is the question my down the street neighbor asked me at the bus stop this morning. I guess she usually goes out for a run in the mornings, but now since it's dark at 5:30 she'd like to have a partner.

I was just thinking this morning that I need to get my booty out there walking again. I really enjoy that time, I know it helps my weight loss, but it's DARK. So I am going to go with my neighbor a few times a week...starting tomorrow. She has to be home by 6:30 when her hubby leaves for work. I need to be home by 6:30 to make sure the kids are getting ready for school. So it will work for both of us. But it's going to be dark at 5:40 when I go out to the corner to meet her.

So all you young 'uns out there who can go to the gym after work...no kids schedules to juggle around...no afterschool stuff like lessons or homework or lacrosse practice...go to the gym for me, OK? 'Cuz I'll be getting up at 5:30 (when it's still DARK) to go for a walk with my neighbor.

And BTW, we are just walking tomorrow...no running for me. Yet!

mexican food

UGH!!! It's one of those things I crave. Especially when I'm pregnant. I love the combo of tomato and lettuce and cheese and the crunch of chips with the creamy sour cream. yum! On Sunday we were supposed to have lunch with a friend. It didn't work out, but we decided to go to our favorite local mexican place. I showed much restraint. Had my chips and salsa. Then got a really low fat burrito and only had half of it. I had the other half on Monday for lunch.

Yesterday I was totally craving that burrito again! My FIL came into town for a quick visit last night. He offered to take us to dinner. I JUMPED on it. We really rarely go out, both for financial reasons (these kids cost a LOT to feed) and the fact that we can make better, more healthful food at home. But it really is a treat for mama! So that same mexican place has kids eat free on Tuesday nights. Just all the more incentive to go there.

D decided we should just walk. It's only about a mile round trip, and it was beautiful out. So we walked. I decided I would have my same burrito again....only eat half of it. (Funny thing is, after all my munching yesterday, I really wasn't even very hungry for dinner. It would have been the night when I had some salad and veggies and little else had we eaten at home!) And I decided to not have any chips and salsa. I'd had my fix a couple days before. I could do without this time.

BUT before we were even seated, the server brings out this plate of mushroom salsa. It's really different. It has diced mushrooms, onion, jalapeno, cilantro and lime. I LOVE the stuff. I had some. They don't always have it there, and we always ask for it every time we go so the servers all know we love it. Then I really wasn't very hungry for dinner. But I ordered my burrito just the same. Also a different thing. It has sauteed mushrooms and spinach, white rice, black beans and a little cheese. Then it's just covered in a little salsa and lettuce. I only ate about a third of it last night. And the rest made a really yummy lunch today!

I've eaten more than I should have the past day and a half, and I am feeling it. I am thirsty and just feel full right now. I DON'T have the munchies today, that's for sure!

I do think I know what part of my problem was yesterday. I was really tired. I still am, actually. (A sign that TOM is on it's way...) I finally realized that my desire to eat was just from fatigue. I rested on the couch for about 45 minutes and felt a little better. That desire to eat when I am tired is one of the things that kept me as a new mama (for an entire decade) overweight. I don't know what it is, but being tired makes me just crave carbs and my diet coke. So today, I am trying to drink water and have given myself permission to rest and hang out. Tomorrow I will have my "nanny" babies, and extra toddler, and my 2 youngest home for the day. Five kids, 4 of whom are in diapers, and 3 who aren't verbal. Should be fun!!! I think the rest will do me good today! LOL

I am still craving pumpkin-y things. I want to look around on line and see what other recipes I can find. I am making my delicata squash tonight. Hopefully that will fill a starchy void in my belly.

just want to munch!!!

Don't know what my problem is today, but I totally just want to eat my way through the day. I have seriously been planning my lunch and dinner since breakfast! Yesterday we all chowed down on the pumpkin bread. The first loaf is gone and the second loaf is still in the freezer where it needs to stay for a while. I think that day of too many carbs which then led me to crave more diet coke than I've been drinking lately has me a little whacked out today.

I did make a poached egg for breakfast this morning. It was the first one I ever made. I liked it. I need to to that again I think. I also had a WW blueberry bar. And I've had a bowl of one point soup. Honestly fewer points in so far today than the past few days by this time. I've been eating bagels for breakfast. The real, big, fresh from the bakery bagels. Love them. But a lot of points and not a lot of anything else. So I'm trying a new approach to my breakfast.

But I'm hungry right now. I'm trying to stay busy till lunch then I'll try to eat something balanced and filling. Dinner tonight? Grilled pork chops, brussels sprouts, delicata squash and probably roasted potatoes.

I'm totally craving this burrito thing I had on Sunday at a local mexican place. It was a mushroom burrito...sauteed mushrooms, sauteed spinach, black beans, rice and a little cheese. I had half on Sunday and the rest yesterday. It was so yummy. Also craving the spinach salad I had this weekend. Just spinach, tomato and feta. Maybe that should be part of my lunch. mmmmm.

See what I mean? I am totally thinking about food today!

pumpkin bread

totally craving it the past few days. I guess it's just the October thing. And then whenever I visit Kate's blog I totally think pumpkin!

I saw pumpkin ice cream at the store on Saturday. And they had the slow churned, half the fat. I bought some. I thought it might be the end of me, but I had one giant scoop Saturday evening (with the kids) and haven't touched it since. Of course, it's still in there so I won't brag too much yet. I could end up any night on the couch with the half gallon and the spoon! But I won't...because I don't really want to go back there.

Anyway. I've been craving pumpkin bread. The recipe I normally make is totally yummy, but I know it's high in points. I didn't want to go there this time. And I've tried Roni's carrot pumpkin bread that's only 2 points. But hers starts with a cake mix and I am just really going through a personal thing with processed foods. Save that for another day.

So I cruised around on all recipes for a while looking for ideas. I combined some ideas and tried to choose low fat options whenever I could. I put it through the recipe builder and it came out to 2 points per slice, 12 slices from the loaf. I did actually double all this when I did it and just used a small can of pumpkin (15 oz). And I added some dried cranberries, too. It's really orange-y and different from my other pumpkin bread. It's yummy, but definitely has a low fat texture. For me, it's totally a keeper.

Orange Pumpkin Bread

Mix and Set Aside:
1 cup flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp allspice
2 tsp cinnamon

In another bowl, beat together:
1/2 cup applesauce
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup egg substitue (eg Egg Beaters)
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 orange (quarted, then pulsed in a food processor)

Add wet ingedients to dry, mix till just combined.

Bake at 350 for 50 minutes.

weigh in

So it was more than a pound. I gained 2.6 pounds. But I am still down over 3 pounds from 2 weeks ago. I'm good with that.

I still wear a size 10 jeans!!!

never done this before!

I'm sitting here typing this post in a way I never have before. I am weaing size 10 jeans, my friends!!! I have never, ever, ever owned a oair if size 10 jeans. I barely ever even fit into a size 12 after I was married! And if that weren't enough, I could go upstairs and put on the size 8 skirt I just bought. A SIZE 8!!!

Total shock that THIS is my body! It's jiggly since I haven't walked in a couple of weeks. It's not the leanest it could be even with this number on the scale. But I feel at home in this body and I am just shocked that I have found it under all my chubbiness.

I also bought Halloween candy today with Jack E and Kelli. Nothing I really like. Little mini peeps, gummi body parts and gummy "food court" food, monster head ring lollipops and some mini dum-dums. Doesn't sound very appealing, does it? Exactly my goal!

Then we bought a pack of dark chocolate peanut M&M's to share. And they actually let me have 5 of them. They were very yummy...and I am so glad to have my kiddos to share the junk with. So much easier to not over do it!

I"m thinking I'll weigh in about a pound heavier than last week. I'm good with that, since I had barely eaten the day before last week..and hadn't eaten the two days before THAT. Again, let me say the flu SUCKS! But I also have kept myself at my one morning diet Coke. It would be so easy to go grab a super huge one right now, but I know it's not good for me, so I am really trying to just have one a day.

Happy weekend all!

holding on

I've been playing around with stuff here. When I updated my ticker, I thought the pirate-y theme was totally cute! So then I changed the rest of things to be a little more match-y. Just did a little Meez for my sidebar too. Can you believe with all those shoe choices, I couldn't find flip flops? So that's what I look like all spiffed up! Normally I'm barefoot in my kitchen! LOL

The scale has been holding steady at 154-155. That is so strange. I am still more used to seeing the 160's, and now to be in the mid 150's is a little odd, but I LOVE it! I have been trying to get in all my good health guidelines and just follow my hunger. I did eat over my 23 points by a couple the past few days, but I have been a little more active those days too. Nothing crazy. Just actually doing some laundry instead of lying on the couch all day feeling miserable.

I can hardly believe that I will be starting my WW maintenance soon, but I will. Just in time for the holidays I can focus on just maintaining and not losing anymore. And I really feel like 145 may be as low as I want to go. I wonder if I could get into the 130's? Then again, I don't think I want to have to maintain such a low number. I do like to eat!

Speaking of which, it's time to get some lunch into the little ones around here!

what's happened to me?

I did make it to weigh in on Saturday morning. It was a huge loss...6.2 pounds. I was just barely getting to the point of drinking and starting to eat again. I fully expect a gain of a pound or two this week just to make up for all the lost fluids, etc. that I am making up.

I am feeling better but still am really weak and have an earahce with both ears now. Go figure! And my oldest boy has been home from school yesterday and today with the beginnings of the sickness. I'll be good as long as he doesn't puke!

So I really have given up most of my diet coke habit. I have had 1 can at home each morning since Saturday. That is it. I have been drinking my water, but not even as much as I did before I had the flu. In fact, I'm not eating nearly as much as I did before the flu at all. I always would eat 26-28 points a day, with some days being waaaay over that. With this loss, I am down to 23 points a day (from 24) and I have yet to eat all of them any day this week. Of course my activity is way down, too, so maybe that has something to do with it?

On Sunday I was just craving some comfort food. I had a WW frozen thing with noodles and broccoli and a cheesy sauce. I put a boca chicken patty on it to add more protein. I could only finish about half of it. Then I was so thirsty (because of all that sodium I'm sure) so I had a big glass of water. Then my belly thought it would burst I was so full. I have always eaten a TON of food. This is so strange to just eat such a tiny bit and be satisfied. I'm not doing as well with my fruits and veggies as I was before. I need to work on that.

I'm srarting to ramble I think.

It is pretty exciting to see that I am fully and securely in the 150's! It's rather shocking to be the same number I was when I got married fifteen years ago. Of course this body has been through 6 pregnancies so it looks just a LITTLE different...but still. I am getting really close to my goal. My goal for the first weigh in of November was to get to 158. Then I got more confident and decided to set that goal for 150, my WW goal. Looks like I will make it to that!!! Can't hardly believe it!

the flu, mama's turn

soooo not fun. when your kids throw up, you try to be sympathetic, but want them to just....well, not have the flu. When my little tiny guy was sick, I wanted him better. For all of our sakes.

Then it hit me. Tuesday night I didn't sleep much. I had gone to bed early, but I was awake again before midnight and just felt achy and yucky. I finally fell asleep around 4, then I was up again around 7 to call in sick to work. I was puking by 7:15. It was so awful. I haven't been that sick since I was a teenager I think. I won't give you all the yucky details...but fat panties make good disposable undies when you need such a thing...

I was sick all day. Until after 8 I was still throwing up. That was Wednesday. Thursday was better. I was done with all the puking...the other held on a little longer. But I was just so wiped out. I did finally get out of bed last night to watch a little TV with the fam. This morning D finally had to go back to work so I had to up and at 'em with the kiddos. Not a good morning. A drained and dehydrated mama is not a patient mama. And children who have hardly seen their mama in a couple of days need a patient mama. Or at least a somewhat attentive one.

I do feel better today. I am still really weak and run down. It's hard to eat much since I still get a little tummy ache when I eat too much. And I am still feeling like I could drink and drink and drink and never be satisfied.

One good thing...I may have broken my extra large diet coke first thing in the morning EVERY morning habit. I would literally get out of bed, get dressed quick, throw on some flip flops and head to the gas station...or McD's when they were on sale all summer. I would have my diet coke fix very first thing in the morning. Then I would usually have another one of those mid-day as well. That plus all my water. Yep, I peed like every 10 minutes!

But the caffeine addiction is so hard to break for me. It is so ingrained in me. But after going without for a few days, maybe I can kick it altogether? That is sooooo insanely scary to say. There was a time in my life (when we were newlyweds) that I didn't usually even keep diet coke in our house. Now? ummm, different story. But I know it's not a healthy habit.

Now I'm rambling. Maybe it's a blood sugar thing. Maybe I can convince my dh to fix one more dinner? So far the kids have had pizza and scrambled eggs for dinner. I think tonight is burgers. Thank goodness for hubbies that like to cook!

the flu

my baby has it and it sucks...he's been really sick...had to take him in to get IV fluids last night.

but not tracking all week? I still lost .4 so I guess I could do that for maintenance...

i'm a little out of it so I'll keep this short. I am glad to see that I am still on the downward slope...last 10 pounds till maintenance with WW...and 15 pounds till I reach my Christmas Challenge goal. More about that later.

food

I think I am a pretty good cook. Not to be tooting my own horn or anything, but I really like to cook and in a family of 8 where we eat at home really every single night of our lives, I get plenty of practice!

That being said, I don't often share a lot of my ccoking ideas here. I love to read your blogs where you share your recipes...they inspire me. But I know you are not all cooking for an army and trying to do it as economically as possible. We have a farm share which means I always have tons of vegetables around to try to cook in new and exciting ways. We buy our beef as a quarter of beef so I really have no idea how lean or fat it really is...and we recently got a ton of pork from a meat locker that is the same lovely unmarked packaging. I tend to get creative with what I have on hand. I decided when I joined WW that it would be unrealstic to drastically change the way my family eats. D has been a staunch low carb man since before half our children were born. He likes the way he eats. With WW I am much more of a low fat girl. My kids are healthy and some of them are quite active. Jack E is a TINY little guy who I try to get as much WHOLE milk into as possible. I try to get the kids to snack on fruit or yogurt (though they much prefer cereal and lunch meat-not at the same time-not even by the same kid, honestly!) so I always have those options around too.

So, I don't often share what I make for dinner because it wouldn't really help you unless we signed up for wife swap together or something like that. But I do want to mention 2 things we ate this week that were highlights for me.

The first is spaghetti squash. As mamas, we all love the spaghetti dinner. It's easy. It's cheap. And what kid doesn't like it? Tell that to my carb hating dh! We usually save pasta meals for when he isn't home, but a couple times in the past week, we've had spaghetti squash. Granted, I buy 2 of the biggest ones I can find...you don't have to do that. It reheats really well, too. It's great since 1 cup is only 1 point. I still sometimes give the kids whole wheat spaghetti while D and I eat the squash, but the kids want the squash too, so what the heck? It's really not terribly expensive for spaghetti squash this time of year either.

My other yummy dinner this week? This yummy noodle dish. I love chinese food, but it's not WW friendly...and we rarely go out for it or order it in. I made this with Ken's Lite Asian Sesame Dressing instead of the Kraft variety listed here. And I used fresh garlic and ginger and just put red pepper flakes on my bowl. Oh and I used whole wheat cappellini, too. It was really really tasty and I felt like I was eating Chinese food for a LOT fewer points. The next time I do it, I'll definitely add more veggies aside from the broccoli. Maybe pepper strips and pea pods and julienned carrots. I totally loved this! This was what I ate Wednesday night when I said I "overdid" it at dinner.

I haven't put it though the recipe builder yet. In fact I'll do that now and update with how many points per serving it is.

And I am really looking forward to my meeting tomorrow and buying a new little tracker notebook. I ran out last week and thought I'd just use a notebook. I miss my little book!!!

just ran it through...8 points for a large 2 cup serving withoout the peanuts

this is scary...

I haven't tracked all week!!! You have to know what kind of WW I am to know how scary this is for me. Even on vacation I was tracking...even as each day was deeper and deeper into a flex point deficit. I have gone to weigh in EVERY single week since I signed up for WW. I am a total nerd...try to follow all the rules and do all the right things.

I started tracking on Saturday. Then I had my 3 extra kiddos that afternoon and evening. I had 1.5 slices of cheese pizza for dinner and was going to log it, but didn't get to it. Sunday morning was busy so I didn't write down my bagel...or all the cookies I ate as I was baking them! Then we headed to our farm-share farm for their big harvest festival which is a potluck. They grill burgers for everyone and we bring sides and desserts.

Some potluck things are easy to pass up. There are usually lots of dishes that involved mixes or cream of something soup. Not at this one. These are peope who get an organic farm share each week. They know countless ways to prepare green beans and broccoli and cabbage and potatoes...that don't involve anything from a can or jar. And of course, as we were driving up there, I realized I was STARVING!!!

So I ate whatever and didn't worry about it. I decided those would be my flex points and I'd stay low the rest of the week. I did have this incredible apple cake/torte thing that was amazing...whole wheat flour and all! (I took zucchini oatmeal chocolate chip cookies just so you know that I too am totally into the weird food thing...and yes they had whole wheat flour, too)

The neat thing for me, was that I was able to eat and enjoy it and visit with people, too. I tend to be really weird this way. I like my private binges. It's easy not to over eat at the party, but then when every one is gone I finish off half a cake or something like that. I over ate while I talked to my daughter about how good the food tasted. I'm not sure why, but that seems like a big deal to me.

So why didn't I start tracking Monday morning? The flu, my friends. I didn't feel well Sunday night...and by Monday afternoon I was waaaaaaay worse. I was really sick. Tuesday was a little better, but I really didn't eat much those few days except for reduced fat store brand cheezits.

Yesterday was my first day of normal eating. I took a good lunch with me to work, and had a great snack. I overdid it at dinner a little (which was an awesome recipe I'll share later). But I also did well with my water.

At this point I am just experimenting. I honestly don't want to record every thing I put into my mouth for the rest of my life. I hope at some point to just eat and make healthy choices and maintain a healthy weight. If I start gaining, I will totally jump back in, but I want to get away from the tracking some day so this week has been an experiment to see if I have any self regulating stuff in my head yet or not.

And my size 12 jean capris that I have LIVED in for months and months now are quite saggy today. So we'll see...

it works!!!

Imagine that! I actually worked the program and I lost weight! Who knew?!?!?!

So my loss for this week was 4 pounds. Two of those were what I think was a temporary gain that showed up last week, and the other 2 are getting me back to my low spot before vacation. I am happy with it.

It does feel encouraging to know that I am going in the right direction. Of the 3 areas that I chose to focus on for the next 8 weeks, I really only got the water down well and the planning was coming along. This week I want to make sure to get all the water in and do well with planning and try to move more. Then hopefully the week after can just be a focus on the movement as the other 2 will be frim habits. Does that make sense?

Last week at my meeting, my plan was to get to 158 (my lowest WI so far) by the end of 8 weeks (Nov 3) and just call it over...start maintenance from there. I just didn't feel very confident that I would ever get to my goal. I think now I am revamping that goal to get to 150 by November 3. That means 10 pounds in 7 weeks. It is possible, I know. I don't want to set that goal too far out of reach, but I do feel really good like I am sooooo close, I just want to be there.

Since I CAN'T control what the number says, instead I will choose to control the things I can. I will drink my water, plan my days and move more. I know that will result in weight loss and good vibes for me. And I am pretty confident that I will be at that 150 goal or close to it by the time November 3 rolls around.

What do you think?

cravings...

Yesterday, I was like a bottomless pit. Cravings like crazy for...protein. So I followed it and didn't worry that I was going deep into my weekly points. I felt like if I was craving turkey. it was for a reason and I should go with it.

And I am having a really hard time with TOM the past couple of days, too, so I think it's my body's way of getting enough iron and what not.

I am doing really well with WW this week. I was so discouraged on Saturday at my meeting, We did one of those goofy worksheets they have about winning outcomes or some such thing. Since we had just set a goal for 8 weeks out, we were supposed to figure out the strategy that would get us there. I said I would:

1-Drink my water. At least 64 oz a day.

2-Plan my meals and snacks better so I wasn't always at the end of my points by dinner.

3-Really focus on getting in walks nearly every morning. Since I only go to work early on Wednesday's, it's feasible to get an early walk every day but Wednesday.

So how is this week stacking up so far? I have totally regained my water habit. In fact, last night I wanted something after dinner, took a big ol' drink of water and was satisfied. I realized that I was just thirsty.

I've done some better planning. Yesterday was all out the window, but other than that I've done really well with planning ahead.

Exercise? Between Kelli's tummy issue and my own crampy stuff, I've been in bed till the last possible second most days. Yesterday at work I decided to take my babies for a walk in their double stroller. Ummm, they live in the mountains...even though it was only 15 minutes, my calves are killing my from all the uphill pushing. And the babies loved taking a ride, too!

So I am feeling much more on top of it these days. Like I really can get to 150...wow, how long has it been since I was THERE?!?!

weight loss is like having a baby

And, no, I don't mean in that goofy way that people say the fastest way to lose 15 pounds is to give birth. That's stupid since you usually gain way more than those measly little 15 pounds when you are preggo and those 15 pounds are just the tip of the iceberg!

No, I just realized that a lot of my feelings about my body mirror those that I've had in the hours and weeks after giving birth. And since I've given birth 6 times and NEVER lost more than 25 pounds before in my life, I'd thougth I'd try this analogy out.

All 6 times that I have gone to the hospital to give birth, I have felt HUGE!!! My skin was stretched. I was uncomfortable moving around. My center of balance was waaaay off. I didn't want to feel like that anymore. After that baby is out it is suddenly so much easier to move around. I can breathe again. The ache is gone from my hips and pelvis (except with Trey who bruised my tailbone or some such crazy thing!). Then within a few hours I take my first shower post partum and feel so SKINNY!!! My belly is no longer stretched beyond recognition. (I should add that I got stretch marks with every single one of my kids except Jack E-no wonder he's my favorite!).

And I am incredibly proud of what my body has accomplished. I have just birthed my child. I have had really easy deliveries (even with 2 inductions and 2 augmentations) and little to no medication with each birth. I was always amazed in the hours after each baby's birth that this little person had just emerged from my body. The feeling of having that hard little head emerge and know that we had done this together was euphoric.

That's a lot like how I felt after losing the first 25 pounds or so with WW. I was stunned and amazed that I had lost that much weight so easily. I was thrilled with how my body looked. I felt so incedibly skinny and hot.

A couple of weeks or a month after each baby was born and I was starting to feel in the groove of the motherhood thing again, I would want to get back to my "regular" clothes. I would try to pull on some jeans and realize how flabby my belly still was. It was always such a shocker to realized that even though I didn't look like I did when I was pregnant, I was far from back to "normal". This is really kind of ironic for me since there hasn't been much time between any of my pregnancies. And really, my hips didn't go back to normal until after I weaned my baby last winter...which means they were in their "loosened" state (ie an entire jeans size largerfor my big ol' butt) from 1995 until early 2007. UGH!

I think I'm at that place now. I am not a size 18 anymore, or squeezing myself into those 18's. I am really quite securely in a size 12, which are many days a little loose even. I have a much thinner face. I have some parts of me that really look pretty good. But I am not skinny yet. I think my frustration with my body and weight loss efforts lately come from that dissatisfaction with me. I am still incredibly proud of what I have accomplished. Not only has this body birthed and nourished 6 babies, but I have lost over 30 pounds now...over holiday's and birthdays and an anniversary and a vacation, too. I don't have my little saggy spot on the side of my belly anymore. It's that kind of post six pregnancies in 10 years sag you'd expect me to have. The sag is nearly gone but the belly is far from flat.

But I'm a lot closer now than I was 10 months ago. And as my nearly 2 year old baby sits here laughing and tickling at my neck, I realize that this is a journey...a process...one that will be a lifelong thing. Just like I will never stop being "mama", I won't stop working on this body.

what's changed?

So, I'm better now. I was in a icky place Saturday. I was tired. I tried to nap. YEAH RIGHT!!! Emma kept asking me when I would be done sleeping. Kelli kept coming in to ask me if she could eat something. Then D called. Then Jack E pooped and came in to get a clean diaper.

I gave up and went for a long walk. It was good. I seem to do a lot of good thinking while I walk. I was listening to my music and just reflecting.

I was thinking about something my WW leader had said when she weighed me in that morning. I said I had changed a lot since I started WW...she said maybe I hadn't really changed that much at all.

So I thought about what has changed. I have started drinking my 64 oz of water nearly every day. I choose fruit or yogurt for a snack almost always. I don't usually turn to food to medicate my moods any more. I plan my foods for the day early on and make healthy choices from that. On the days I will be out, I plan for that by taking healthy foods with me. I shop differently too when I am at the grocery store.

I think I just needed to remind myself that I HAVE made changes in my lifestyle. I am so close to finishing this journey to getting to my goal weight that I am not going to give up now.

And lately when I look in the mirror I see a slim face with GREAT cheekbones.

and it shows

Today I was back up 2 pounds. I didn't put it on my sidebar or adjust my ticker. I don't want to.

Maybe it's not so bad. After all, yesterday I froze about 4 bushels of corn. So I was standing in the kitchen all day. I had 3 huge diet Cokes, not much water and some herbal iced tea. I didn't eat dinner till after 9 o'clock, either. So maybe that's all it is?!

Yeah, right.

When I weighed in with my meeting leader, I told her I just feel "done". I don't want to do this anymore. Maybe I should just sit here for a while and call this goal?

She wasn't convinced unfortunately. And our meeting today was about setting a goal for the next 8 weeks or roughly until Halloween. After that it really begins the holiday season. P (the leader) said that from now till then is really our best chance for losing. Then it will be 8 weeks of holiday madness. Then January will come and it will be back to heavy duty losing mode.

I really think a huge portion of my struggle right now is the body image thing. Have I really changed much since I have lost these 30 pounds? I seem to be having an identify crisis these past few weeks. I still look in the mirror and see what was. Is that because I am seeing what is underneath?

I told my leader maybe I just need a therapist. Seriously, maybe I do.

so unmotivated

I have just been swinging like crazy on the pendulum of motivation this week.

I overdid it on the weekend, but did great on Monday. Tuesday was good, but then I was starved in the afternoon so basically ate a second lunch. That wouldn't have been a problem except that the kids' school was having a fundraiser at our local pizza buffet place. I had an issue with one of the kids...actually he had an issue with me...and I didn't feel like everyone was eating their money's worth...so I had too much pizza.

The next few days have followed suit. I am just really struggling with seeing myself as a thin person. I know I'm not "thin" but I think I still see myself as a size 18. Need to work on that...

I don't have anything else to offer right now...maybe later?

what a weekend!!!

It's still officially Labor Day Weekend, I guess, but I need the weekend to be OVER so I can get back on track.

Saturday was just as crazy busy as Friday had been. I did get through all my 3 bushels of tomatoes that needed to be canned or "put up" somehow. I have a few left to eat this week though honestly they are not looking very appetizing right now. I canned 7 quarts of green beans and froze a bushel of corn....that's about 50 ears that we shucked, blanched and cut off the cob to freeze.

Then we had a Brew party on Sunday. That's where D takes over the kitchen for the day and makes a batch of beer...or 2 like yesterday. It was really fun. We invited over some neighbors and just hung out.

What does that mean on the food front?

Well, Saturday morning after my WI I picked up doughnuts for the kiddos. Aleena had a friend over and I just took the easy way out when it came to feeding everybody breakfast. That was a big mistake. Jack took a bite or two from all the doughnuts and so did Mama! UGH...

Lunch? Ummmm, I think I ate a few bites of the mac and cheese that Aleena made for lunch. It was by Annie's organics so that makes it better, right?

For dinner, we got McDonald's. I totally bribed my children to clean the house while I finished doing corn and tomatoes with the evil McD's. I even told the boys they could have whatever sandwich they wanted...no price limit. I of course had a big ol' burger and a ton of fries. I had hardly eaten all day and had been working like crazy!!!

Sunday morning, Aleena and I finally got to the weekly grocery shopping around 7 am. I ate a bagel while we shopped. We made a quick lunch of quesadillas...mine was with a whole wheat tortilla and reduced fat cheese.

Then neighbors came over and it got ugly. It started with the cranberry martini...then a green apple one...or two, I'm not really sure. There was that yummy 7 layer dip...and bacon cheddar ranch dip with potato chips...and some pineapple cake with a yummy cream cheese frosting. I'm not sure what else...

The bad thing about brew parties is the guys take over the kitchen and are busy the whole time while the women sit around and eat!!! Next time we are having healthier choices!!!

So this morning I got up and took a walk before the brood was awake. I haven't done that in probably a month. I have really missed that time, but just haven't been able to add in that one more thing. And I have really tried to make healthier choices today. Days like the last 2 are really an anomaly for me, so I am not going to get freaked out by it. I am up a pound since Saturday morning, but I have a feeling it's all salt and alcohol. It does feel good to get back on track today, that's for sure!

Emma is bugging me to go do something in the kitchen with her. Gotta go...

quick check in

Just ran over to weigh in...I didn't stay for a meeting this morning since I have sooooo much to do and I slept through the early meeting! :P

I did finally have a loss so I am feeling good about that. I have had some much better days. BUT Thursday night was BAD BAD BAD! It was a long hard day...and it just got crazier. I didn't eat much dinner so therefore felt justified in having some ice cream. Well, you know what that means. Polished off more than a half gallon. Not my plan when I started, but I did it. Just like old times....**sigh**.

Yesterday was just crazy busy. I was on the move all day. I'm in the middle of canning tomatoes...tomato paste, tomato sauce, stewed tomatoes. I get really obsessed when it is sitting in my kitchen and end up working on it for 12-14 hours of the day...along with running kids around and trying to keep them fed.

I tried to eat well yesterday. I've done really well with water this week...until yesterday. I did just get the bare minimum in. I guzzled 32 ounces before I went to bed around midnight. Which meant I was up around 2 to pee pee. Then Kelli was in my bed crying over a bad dream at 3:30. No wonder I slept through that alarm at 6!

Gotta go get my water bath canner going!

new day

Today was a much better day-FINALLY! My goals for this week were to drink all my water and think before I eat something.

I did get all my water in yesterday, but I was eating more than I should have. Like last night, the kids had sloppy joes and oven fries and fruit for dinner. I totally picked at their fries. Just shouldn't have done that. Today has been a really good day. I am proud of the choices I have made for the first time in a couple of weeks. I did start my day with oatmeal which is a rarity for me. I think that may have had somehting to do with my successful on plan day. I'm going to try the oatmeal again tomorrow to see how it goes.

I really do feel good about the food I ate today. But I really don't feel good about those pounds that I think have taken up residence on my belly and booty. I was hoping it was just vacation weght, but I am thinking I am going to have to really work to get it off. Oh, well. At least I know how to do the WW thing and get back to losing it. I haven't been walking lately either. It's been just that one more thing that I can't seem to add into my life again. I do miss that solitude. The kids have a late start tomorrow so I'm thinking I may get up and go for a walk since I don't have quite the same schedule to keep. I've actually been thinking of doing that whole CP25K thing!!! **GASP**

There are days when I really wish I had a treadmill. But then, where would I put it?!

"as long as it takes..."

That was the theme of my meeting yesterday (and probably for all of you last week, too!).

It's very timely for me. I started my 40th week of WW yesterday. I really thought that I would have been at my lifetime and personal goal 40 weeks into this program. But I'm not. And I'm trying to decide if I'm OK with that or if I want to revamp my goals. I set my WW goal solely on their little chart in the book about BMI. And my personal goal comes from high school. I weighed 143-148 in high school, except for the few weeks after I had mono when I bought my one and only pair of size 9 jeans! LOL

But I feel pretty comfortable hovering around 160 so maybe that needs to be my goal?

Right now I have my mini goal of getting back to 158. That was where I was before vacation. I came back at 165...and I'm still here.

In all honesty, Friday morning my bathroom scale said 161.4...but then Firday night I ordered pizza for the kids and me to celebrate the first week of school. I ate sooo much more than I should have. Honestly it started earlier in the day with about 5 cookies. That didn't leave me many points for dinner, but so be it. It really was my plan to have a Lean Cuisine or Smart Ones for dinner. But then I opened that box and saw the pepperoni and sausage pizza that I ordered for the boys and it was all over. I had 2 slices of that and 2 slices of cheese and some cinna-bread. I honestly made myself sick. I was sooooo full that I hurt. At that point I knew my WI Saturday morning would suck. And all I could think about was how much fun Friday night pizza night could be (if I didn't go so crazy) and how I really should change my day for WI!

So I had a week with no loss after having a big gain. So be it. I knew it would happen after all that pizza. And I really am not doing well with my water. I need to just guzzle it a couple times a day and get it in. But I digress...

At our meeting yesterday, my leader was talking about the big goals that we have...to get rid of the fat...but also about the little goals we need to have. Lately my big goal and little goal have been the same...to get to my goal weight. And I'm not sure I can reach that right now. So my little goal for the weeks to come is to lose these 7 pounds. It is vacation weight and pizza pig out weight and TOM weight so I'm hoping it goes away quickly. But that is the only goal I have in sight right now...7 pounds.

Then I will decide if I really want to lose those next 10 pounds or if I can be comfortable with them. I know that I have accomplished a lot by losing what I have already. I am really proud of that. And I feel like I am at a place where I can maintain and not gain it all back. I have learned so much about myself and my eating habits with WW. And I know this is an eating plan that I will need to stick to for the rest of my life. It is too easy for me to go back to my old ways...and gain weight. So I am committed to getting to 158 again...as long as it takes!

@ lainb-

My leader wasn't solely referring to weight loss goals. Like someone said her goal was to track every day. Someone else was aiming for the 8 healthy guidelines most days.

Getting enough water...limiting alcohol...working in more movement...those are all goals that would lead to weight loss but aren't necessarily scale related. I do like these kinds of goals more because they are something we can control. It's not always possible to control what the scale says...but I can control what I do to help it move.

So, after re-thinking this my goals for this week are to get my water in each day and to really consider what I put in my mouth BEFORE I eat it. This week has been crazy and I haven't always made the healthiest choices...or stopped eating when I was really satisfied. So I want to get that back into check.

Thanks for making me think harder!!!

back on the wagon

I've done OK being on plan this week, but I've been really busy getting all the kids settled in at school. Still working on that, in fact. Who knew that Office Max would actually sell out of graph papaer? And who would guess that Target would sell out of BINDERS?!

I've been just running around and trying to make good choices. I'm not doing as well with water as I should be. Hard to get back to the water when I am just craving a fizzy diet coke...

And it's my TOM...guess crying over laundry and a full dishwasher last night should have been a clue. But I needed to wait for the confirmation this morning. So it's no wonder the scale is just hanging on around 162...At least I've lost a little of that vacation weight!

Just wanted to check in quickly...haven't had much energy for reading up on all my blog friends. Hope to check in with you all later tonight!

how many points do you think are in a deep fried oreo?

Yes, I actually ate one of those. And it was really, really good! Thankfully, D and I shared them with the kids so I had one and he had 2 and the kids are the rest. But they were really tasty.

We went to the fair on Thursday before heading home on Friday. This is the fair famous for everything being deep fried or on a stick. The hot new food last year was the meatballs on a stick...I think they were deep fried meatballs, too.

We did eat OK for the first part of the day. D bought some cheese curds that we all shared with some pretzels. Then we had apples and clementines. The Egg Board was giving away hard boiled eggs on a stick. Then it was like 2 and we were all STARVING. I just gave up and ate a corn dog. It was sooooo good.

Then we wandered around some more. We wound up getting more hot dogs for dinner for the kiddos...I think the big boys had foot long corn dogs and D got me a shredded pork sandwich. Some more fruit and crackers...and we finished the day (at 9:30 or so) with the deep fried oreos.

I honestly don't think that day at the fair and the crappy eating there was as bad as the drive home. We got donuts for the kids in the morning...mama had 2. For a morning snac, the kids shared some chips and I ate most of a big bag of Smartfood. Love that cheesy popcorn! Lunch was OK...except for the 3 cookies. Then afternoon snack was another donut and some All Bran bites. After we unloaded the car last night. I made bacon and eggs for everyone for a late dinner. I had a piece of bacon and some scrambled eggs. Oh, and yesterday, I drank NO water until after the kids were all in bed. It was all about the diet coke.

So today I went to WI and was up 6.2. REALLY?! Gosh, how did that happen?!?!?!?!

But I have jumped back on the wagon. It's hard in some ways. I just want to eat crappy. Then there is the desire to do the emotional eating thing. But I don't want to go there. It was really good to go to my meeting this morning (well, actually a much later meeting! :P ) and just get back on track. So here it goes...

I'll keep you posted. The kids all start back to school this week and I will have my babies I nanny for at my house a couple days this week and next, too. I am really looking forward to getting back into the routine of life...on all fronts. I need to reclaim this life and not just float along for the ride. Does that make sense to anyone else?

confessions

still on vacation but I feel like I need to do some confessing. There have been some days of eating really well with much constraint. Really not difficult to do. I've had fresh Iowa sweet corn and garden fresh tomatoes to choose from. I have had the world's greatest cottage cheese (not as good low fat as regular, but still good) and yummy nonfat yogurts...then there was the bag of chips and dip. And the soft serve from the Tastee Freeze. And the fish, freshly caught (by my kids) and freshly deep fried (by my dad). And the 14 ounce filet mignon...which I DID share with one of the kids and my husband. But today we went to Culvers...if you are from the midwest you know that means NOTHING low fat or low in calories there. I caved in and had a tenderloin...yummy deep fried pork goodness...and deep fried cheese curds. OH....MY.....GOODNESS!!!

I was soooooooo completely sick after that. Seriously. And seriously needed a ton of water. Tomorrow we are going to the fair. The fair that is famous for everything fried and on a stick. Not looking forward to indulging in that again. It will honestly be interesting in what I DO find to eat. Because I am honestly feeling a little crappy tonight.

But according to my mom's WW scale, I haven't really gained more than a couple of pounds! We'll see about that. We will head home Friday and I really plan to go to my regular meeting on Saturday morning. It's a little sick, but I have never missed a weigh in for the week. Saturday will be my last chance this week. And I KNOW my weight will be up. But then I can lose all the retained water and whatnot by the next Saturday and be back on track. That will happen, right?!

I just wanted to check in with you all while I had a second on my mom's computer. I have really missed my daily accountability with you all. I have not walked like I thought I would because it is so crazy hot and humid here. But I totally need the mental break that you all give me. I'll be back sometime this weekend...hopefully not 10 pounds heavier...it is soooo not worth THAT much weight!

midweek check in

I'm not sure if I'll get another chance to post before we leave on Friday morning. It's just crazy around here trying to get ready to go.

I went to WI this morning. I was up .4 from Saturday. I was a little surprised, but I really went just to fulfill my WI for the week. I will most likely come back a week from Friday then go to WI the next day. So that one will probably be up, too. But then I will be back on track to lose my last few pounds before maintenance.

Thanks for your comments lately. Especially you Becky...you SOOOO made me laugh. I will remember the free points from 12-3! It is really rare that I am up at that point, but if I am...I won't sweat those points! LOL And I tend to call my 2 or 3 youngest my "littles"...I have my oldest, the big boys, the little girls and the baby at my house.

This week has been a major NSV for me. I am stressed beyond belief. There is the back to school stuff to be done since we get back 2 days before the kids start back to school. Then there is the packing for the trip. Since I was so sick 2 weeks ago and not a whole lot better last week, my laundry has been out of control. I am desperately trying to catch up. Then there is the money stress. There is never enough in the month of August I swear! And the stress of my hubby's underemployment. That has been the situation for a while, but I am really ready to move from this point. He is seeking out so many leads the past couple of weeks only to have them lead nowhere.

**big sigh**

The good news is that I have NOT turned to that pint of Ben and Jerry's for comfort. I have just continued to plug away at what needs to be done. We did get most of our school supplies yesterday. The new outfit for the first day of school will have to wait for the weekend after we are back.

So now I am off to finish my laundry so we can start the process of packing clothes this morning. I also have to do a couple of batches of pickled beets today. Hopefully that will go quickly and not be a source of MORE stress.

yesterday or today?

question...does the skinny cow I ate at 12:45 this morning go on my food log for yesterday or for today? I can't believe I was up that late. It was a yarn thing...I had a tangled skein so I stayed up, obsessed, until I had a nice and neat ball. It only took me about 4 hours.

Then I rewarded myself with ice cream...

ugh...back to my laundry...and getting the kiddos ready for school...and getting ready to go see family in Iowa this weekend...maybe a little more ice cream?! LOL

You all will be glad to know that I have been trying to limit myself to one extra child over at a time. No more days or having 9 or 10 kids here. Just a reasonable 6 or 7! :D

weigh in and another loss

I have finally lost all the weight from that big gain a couple of weeks ago. I actually lost 3.2 this week. It was one of those weeks when I didn't really feel like I "deserved" to lose, if you know what I mean. I didn't really make poor choices, but I ate all my daily points each day. And I only have like 4 flex points left.

But I did track everything. Like Aleena and her friend T made a cake this week...I ate a few bites here and there...and a whole piece one night. I just tracked it all. Last Saturday night I ordered pizza for me and the kiddos. D was working and I had been making pickles all day. I CHOWED down 3 pieces of the stuff. I was STARVING and I just ate and ate. I also ate some of their cinna-bread stuff that I had ordered with the pizza. But I tracked it all. So maybe that is really the key.

I have those things written down so I feel accountable for them, but I also have to compensate my week for them? I'm really not sure.

So now that I am down into the 150's again, I need to lose point 24 from my day. I am a little nervous about that! I honestlly don't know how those of you who only eat 21 or 22 points a day do it. I really feel best on about 28 a day. So I will see how it goes dropping down to 23 dailies. And I haven't really had any extra exercise for 2 weeks now. I have been soooooo sick. I have actually taken a nap most every day for the past 2 weeks. And if you know me, you know that unless I am pregnant I tend to go all day long barely sitting down, let alone lying down! And no, I'm really sure I'm not preggers, I've just been really sick.

That is the other thing that was surprising about my loss this week. We tend to think that we have to exercise to lose weight. I think I need to exercise to keep from losing my mind and my patience with my kids, not to have a good loss. Good thing...becuase I just soooo do not need another thing to feel guilty that I am not getting done on a daily basis.

I literally have a laundry pile that is now taller than all my children. So I know what I am doing this weekend. We are getting ready to go out of town for a week or so, and I really need to conquer that pile. Plus there is all the back to school stuff that needs to be dealt with. It really is stressing me out. Last night I wanted to drown my stress in a pint of ice cream. Instead I talked to my hubby about it. Who knew that could be more satisfying and helpful?!?! I was AGHAST I tell you!

Happy weekend to you all!

what gives?

I went to the the doctor today. I realized this was the first time I have been to the regular doctor since before I was pregnant with my baby...who is almost 22 months old! I just never go to the doctor.

Anyway. I went because after starting to feel better, I started feeling worse. I knew I was getting a sinus infection so I had to go in and get some antibiotics. I also got a tetnus shot since I hadn't had once since before I was married. And we just celebrated our 15th anniversary! So I was due for a booster.

I was not afraid of the scale...and neihter the doctor or the nurse said anything about my weight. I wanted to brag and tell them that although I am still a little overweight, I used to be REALLY overweight, technically I was obese. But they didn't bring it up. I guess being 15 pounds overweight is just not a big deal for a 37 yeal old mama to 6!

I learned something at the doctor today. i have always thought I was 5' 5.5". I AM NOT!!! I measure just over 5' 4"!!!

So do I need to update my WW stats now? I probably won't get to stop at 150...my upper weight limit will probably be lower now. I am so stressed out about this!!!

How could I only be 5' 4"??? This is important information. I have been living a deluded life for a long time now I tell ya!

I need to think....

moving down the scale

So I didn't lose all of my big gain last week. But I did lose 2 pounds. And considering that I have eaten what was easiest (not always lowest in points) and barely moved all week, I am happy with that. Oh, and I have not done so great with water either. Just to lazy I suppose.

But I am just over 11 pounds from my WW goal. It would be sooo nice to be there by the end of August. We shall see.

Made a quick trip to Sunflower Farmer's Market on my way home from WI. It is easy to get lost in the bulk bins there. I got some of their Multigrain Pancake Mix. It's a just mix with water thing. All the ingredients were listed on the bin along with the nutrionals. It is 2 points for 1/3 cup of mix. I had some for breakfast just now. I admit that 1/3 cup didn't look like much so I did twice that. It was a TON of little pancakes. They were good, tasted a little corny. Pancakes are my FAVORITE thing for breakfast. I usually eat them plain or maybe some jam or PB or PB2. This is a nice new little just add water treat for mama! And they weren't very sweet so it didn't leave me raving more sugar. Next time I will definitely mx up a little PB2 to put on top of each one!

And WW is doing their recruitment here. The sign says, "Would you like to work for WW?" I totally would...gotta think about if that would work for me. Then I could just sit around and talk about WW (one of my MOST favorite topics) and get paid for it!

Happy day to all of you.

I am feeling better...thanks for your well wishes. Now if only I could give all my kids a little happy pill!!!

still sick and still crabby

This cold has me soooooo freakin miserable. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. And my patience with my kids is GONE!! Not a good thing since my oldest and youngest sons are also sick. Thank God I can give Jack E tylenol and stick him in his crib. With Trey I have to wait until after dinner and give him some Nyquil then!

D and I sat down to watch TV tonight (why oh why didn't Fiona get chosen as a finalist on Last Comic Standing?) and he brought me a Mike's hard Lemonade...light of course. He told me I might feel better after I drank it. At least HE would feel better after I had it.

Yeah, I'm a little crabby! :D

And I'm calling it a night...see you all tomorrow!

swearing off weekends

and not for the reason you would think!

Last Monday morning I woke up with a nasty tummy ache...I was miserable all day with it.

Yesterday (well Sunday really) I came down with the nastiest cold. Sunday morning I started getting a sore throat. By Sunday night I felt really punky. By Monday morning I was MISERABLE!!!

I actually spent all but about 4 hours of my day in bed yesterday. And part of that time up and about was because I had to drive a kid to drum lessons and feed my kids their healthy Burger King dinner! D was working from early afternoon till late late last night so I had to deal with the kiddos a little bit. Though honestly, Aleena was such a great help with them all yesterday. I gave her 3 of my old eyeshadows as payment. She's still pretty easy I guess! lol

I went to WI last Saturday knowing it would be bad. I had that crazy day last Saturday then thought I could just do some manipulating to make it all better. I realized I was trying to turn WW into some weird fad diet...like if I only eat these kinds of foods all day I'll be OK. I had a really low point week (for me..meaning I didn't use all my flex points) but I was eating later at night...because I was STARVING so I would justify a bowl of cereal at 10 pm. Then my bathroom scale just kept going up and up and up. By Thursday I felt gross. My scale said I was up like 8 pounds from the week before...and I just didn't care anymore! We went to dinner with the in-laws and I ate a grilled veggie quesadilla not even giving a rip about points. Then something happened on Friday. I started eating my fruit again...and drinking my water. I'm not sure what but all of a sudden I felt like ME on WW again.

So WI Saturday....up 4.4! Yes, over FOUR pounds!!! I just felt gross about myself, too. I had to run by Target on my way home. I wanted to try on some pants just to see what size I was fitting into. I was preparing myself for the worst, but still hoping for the best. I grabbed a 10 and a 12 of this style that I really liked...and that also had NO stretch to the fabric. I tried on the 12's first. And they fit me perfectly. Granted I would have loved to have the 10's look like on me but I looked really good and thin in those pants. I didn't look like I was hanging out anywhere...they just fit like a glove and I looked good. I started to put the 10's on...yeah right! I didn't buy either since we don't have the money right now. But I do think about how I looked in those pants.

On Sunday we were going to a friends' to celebrate another friend's birthday. I offered to bring something but was assured it was handled. They were doing ribs. I don't really like ribs a whole lot...and they are one of those things that if I am going to eat, I want to be at home where I don't have to worry about getting it all over myself. I was taking hot dogs for my littles. And I decided to take zucchini brownies too. I ran those through the recipe builder and found they were 5 points for a good sized one.

So I had a plan. I ended up skipping the ribs. We were also served a scalloped potato dish. I sampled it but it honestly tasted more like cream than potatoes so one bite was enough. There was a spinach salad with bacon and egg and a great dressing...but there was too much dressing for my taste so I didn't finish a lot of that. I pigged out on the fruit salad and the bowl of sweet cherries sitting by me. I guess the fact that I was still carrying around extra pounds of water or SOMETHING in my belly coupled with the fact that the pants I had on (size 12) were feeling quite tight around my waist made it easy to eat only what I felt comfortable eating. I didn't take any dessert either but I let myself eat a bite or two of my 3 little ones' leftovers.

The ironic thing is that not only did I wake up feeling miserable on Monday morning but I also woke up about 5 pounds lighter than I started the weekend. I love fruit! LOL

I should add too that the friends we were with....one of them I haven't seen in probably a year or so. The other couple I hadn't seen since April or so. They were so complimentary about how I looked...how much I have lost...all that. That's what I need to remember after a crappy WI like that. Yes I gained over 4 pounds last week...of water...salt...junk food....whateer. But I have still lost THIRTY POUNDS...and that is a huge accomplishment!

points to spare!

Yeah, who am I kidding?! LOL

Saturday got CRAZY on me-both with my kids and with the food I chose to eat. I really didn't want it to spiral out of control like it so easily does. You know, how one bad day turns into a couple then a week or two of bad food choices and weight gain.

I decided to nip it in the bud. Normally WW doesn't feel much like a "diet" to me. I count my points, but I am ALWAYS over it seems. Since I am usually going over eating fruits and veggies, I just don't care. And I have been steadily losing this summer with that mentality so it must be working OK for me. Saturday was a hard one. I really went overboard with chips and potato salad and cookies. I decided that I need to think of the rest of this week like I really am on a diet.

I did well on Sunday. It's always so hard the day AFTER a big binge day. My body just starts to crave junk...and lots of it. I just tried to eat well and drink lots of water. OK, so maybe I didn't do well with the water, but I did stay within my daily points allowance...if you let me use the activity points I earned on my 65 minute walk in the morning.

Today has been hard, too. Again, though, I ate all my points and a couple of AP's...I hadn't actually earned them yet but I realized that I wouldn't let myself end my day with a deficit so I pulled out the yoga DVD and did some of that. So I made it with a positive number still in my tally for the day!

I am hoping that I can haul my booty out of bed in the morning in enough time to get a good walk before the kiddos are up and at 'em. I know that every day I stay OP just makes it easier for the next day to be OP.

Here's hoping!

And I'm soooo totally hoping for another loss on Saturday. My bathroom scale has me up a couple of pounds, but I'm hoping they are transient and will be gone soon. I'm so pathetic that I actually weighed myself in the middle of the night last night when I got up to pee. I'm sad, I know!

the final ten...kinda

I can't believe I am officially in the 150's!!!

I haven't weighed this little in 15 years and for many of my baby bearing years, I truly thought I would never EVER see that number again. It's very exciting let me tell you. This means that I am less than 10 pounds from my WW goal. The "kinda" in my title comes from the fact that my personal goal is 145 so I am not quite within ten pounds of that...but I am sooooo much closer than I ever thought I would be.

This week hasn't been as great for me as the past few weeks had been either. I have had a little bug and just haven't eaten well. And we were at friends for a BBQ last night and there were no fruits veggies in the offering other than the pasta salad and potato salad. But I still managed OK apparently. I am looking forward to eating better this week since I just feel better eating tons of fruit and veggies instead of bagels.

Well, I'm off to check out everyone's blogs since I didn't get to check in with you all yesterday.

Happy weekend to you all!

look at THAT picture!

I posted yesterday with some old pics (just for you, Sonya but I posted them on my mama blog.

Click here to check them out if you dare! LOL

good numbers

Jumped on the scale first thing this morning...like I do ever single day of my life!

It said 159.6...can't believe it. A number in the 150's?! OMG! That would be amazing. I am only about 5-6 pounds heavier than when I got married. And only about 15 pounds higher than my average weight in high school. I honestly never thought I would be this close to those numbers EVER again.

I really love weight watchers...

updated my ticker

I finally got back down from where I was the middle of June so I thought I would finally update my ticker. I was down 2.2 today and that is with eating over my dailies AND my weeklies. But I have really eaten more fruits and veggies...hardly any baked goods...and no fast food this week. No dining out at all, honestly, which is pretty normal for us.

Oh, wait, I just remembered that I did have 2 breakfast things this week. One morning I stopped at Burger King for a burrito. It's the tortilla, some scrambled eggs, 3 hash rounds and some cheese. I can't find any nutrionals for it...so I call it 6. And yesterday I stopped at McD's and got a Fruit Yogurt parfait for breakfast since I was too wiped out to make my own. It's 3 points like the one I make, but mine has a TON more cereal/granola on it since I use nonfat yogurt instead of lowfat yogurt.

Anyway. I did eat those 2 things this week. It's been really hot so I've done well with water. And I've started drinking more herbal iced tea, too. I like iced tea, but usually have regular black teas. I made some herbal this week and count that as my water. I don't count black teas as water since they have caffeine.

So my method of not worrying so much about fruits and vegetables and their counts is working. My goal now is to be able to stay with that and keep my portions of other things in check. I have had some chips, but have tried to stop earlier rather than later. And I have tried to control my portions with meat which isn't a real problem for me anyway.

So maybe I can continue this trend and be at maintenance soon and then my personal goal.

It sure does feel good this summer to be in shorts and tanks and not feel like a beached whale!

coleslaw

It's my new obsession this summer. I have always LOVED pasta salads and can just gorge myself on them. Even with whole wheat pasta, it gets points-costly quickly. I saw a recipe for a tex mex coleslaw in a WW magazine. I tried it and LOVED it. It had cilantro, jicama and roasted green chiles. It was still reduced fat mayo based, though, so the points could add up pretty quickly.

D was making a coleslaw last winter with a vinaigrette dressing. We also added some walnuts and gorgonzola cheese. It was really tasty, too. It didn't have much oil...like a couple tablespoons for the whole batch so not even one teaspoon per serving. And although it had cheese, it didn't have a lot since a strong cheese like that goes a long way.

Yesterday I made a greek-ish coleslaw. I added cucumber and red pepper and green onions and black olives and reduced fat feta. I used a simple mixture of olive oil and red wine vinegar to dress it. I am counting a big serving as 1 point because of the little bit of cheese and oil. But it's so yummy to grab in the fridge and just have a couple of little bites. I am loving the whole coleslaw thing...since cabbage is soooo low in points, it makes a really great basis for the other yummy ingredients.

Had to share!

I realized this afternoon that my counting is getting pretty lazy the past couple of days. I am still counting the big things (like chocolate pancakes!), but I am really lacking in my counting of all the pieces of fruit that I put into my mouth all day long. And I'm not sure I care a whole lot either. Again, my philosophy is that no one ever developed a weight problem by overdoing it on apple slices and watermelon! Yesterday we were out for a picnic lunch with the kids. I tracked my tomato and mozzarella salad and the piece of quesadilla, but I honestly have no idea how much fruit I ate. It was hot and that watermelon just HIT the spot.

I have felt like I am eating a lot lately, but I am eating good things for the most part. There has been a lot of melon and peaches and cherries. I have munched on a lot of sugar snap peas. Tonight at dinner I did eat a lot of zucchini and yellow squash (sauteed with onion, garlic and olive oil-LOVE IT!) and too many potatoes. But we did have a big morning at our farm share where we worked hard.

Tonight I wanted ice cream. We still have some of our homemade ice cream in the freezer, but I was in "that mood" and I really didn't trust myself to stop at a nice little serving. I could have eaten a pint tonight I know. Instead I opted for a Healthy Choice ice cream sandwich. It gave me my treat so I didn't feel deprived, but I kept myself from going overboard, too.

We'll see how tomorrow goes. My mom comes to town and I am planning a big roast for dinner and more potatoes and turnips and maybe beets and I still have TONS of zucchini. I also want to do some zucchini baking on Saturday. Bread and cookies. Zucchini oatmeal cookies are really good, you'd be surprised.

I am anxious to see how my weigh in goes on Saturday. I just feel really on top of the whole weight thing tonight. I guess I am feeling like these are life changes now and I really can go forward from here.

happy 4th of July

Actually, I'm not really feeling this as a special holiday other than I got the day off from the family I nanny for. YAY!

I've had 2 extra little girls here since last night. They are really close to my 2 youngest girls, but being the ornery 3 year-old that she is, Kelli is being terrible to her friend so there is constant conflict there. And going to bed last night was an issue. They all fell asleep eventually, but Kelli and her friend Ju-Ju were up till like 10-which means Jack E was also up till almost 10. He was up early and was a WRECK!!! I put him back to bed at 9:20.

**sigh**

So I was the good mama host this morning and made chocolate pancakes...from scratch. They really are as good as they sound. Cocoa powder and chocolate chips. YUMMY! I did make them small for all the little kiddos. And I only ate 2. And a half. They are really sweet, too sweet for me. Then I also made a batch of Roni's Multigrain Pancakes to freeze for a quick breakfast for me later. I'm not sure I liked how they turned out. I put it through the WW recipe builder and it was 1 point for each small cake even if I double the amount of whole wheat flour. I think I might try them again that way.

So, I had a comment yesterday about my experience with Weight Watchers. I have truly loved the program. It has been really easy for me to follow. And for me the best part is that it's not a quick fix. I have had issues with overeating all my life. I remember coming home after school in 3rd grade and eating 3 or 4 Ho-Ho's as a snack. One just wasn't enough. And my mom wasn't home from work to monitor me, so I overindulged. I think that was the beginning of my overeatng in private. I found some strange comfort in that I guess.

I have inherited a great metabolism from my dad. He was one of those guys who ate anything he wanted and drank lots of beer and stayed totally slim...until he was about 35 or so. I have always been able to really watch my intake for a few weeks and lose a few pounds. I could do slim-fast or diet pills and do great for about a month. I even did really well with a low-carb diet. The problem for me was always maintaining. I couldn't live like that.

I remember getting pregnant with Emma after losing about 20 pounds on a low-carb plan. After I found out I was pregnant, I decided to abandon my low-carb ways. I had suffered 2 miscarriages just before that and always wondered if my eating was part of it. So I started eating carbs again...with abandon. I thought, "I will never eat muffins again...I better have one or two every day. I will never eat doughnuts again...I better have them a few times a week." And what happened? I gained 13 pounds before my first prenatal visit at 12 weeks. I gained 41 pounds with that pregnancy (my biggest pg gain) and was soooo miserable.

Weight Watchers has helped me learn how to be better balanced. I still have issues, trust me. But I am learning to balance the big slip-ups with healthier choices. After losing 15 or 20 pounds, I started going for walks a few times a week. For me, it's not so much about the exercise making me lose more weight, but it's about the way I feel after I walk in the morning. It's endorphis, yes, but it's also my time. I listen to my music and can be alone inside my head. I have time to think without being interrupted by the kids. I have time to pray and reflect.

And I know I am doing a good thing for myself. I think I am toning my legs and booty, too. But that's not my primary reason anymore.

As for cost. There are several options with WW. You can check them out online or go to a local office. Meetings have been a big help to me. But the support I have found from other bloggers has been great too. Roni has also set up an online community on her blog for others to share their stories and struggles.

I have LOVED the program. I have always followed FLEX because it allows me the FLEXibility (ha ha-sorry!) to have treats and then balance my day or week and still see losses. I have really considered CORE this summer becuase I could eat TONS of fruits and veggies and hardly any meat. Then again, I totally love my breads, too, so I have never made the switch.

Anyway, I've gone on a long time. And now I being begged to go to the water park. And I need to run to the store since we are completely out of milk-AGAIN! Dang kids! :P

i love my ice cream

Sorry, Kathy, I know you are having an ice cream free day, but I just put my homemade ice cream recipe through the WW recipe builder. With whole milk and a ONE CUP serving, it's only 5 points!!!

For those of you who love ice cream like I do, you know that premium ice cream can be costly, points-wise. And that a serving is typically a half cup-YEAH RIGHT!!! I estimated my small portions (yes, I had it twice on Sunday!) as 6 points, but I was overestimating! Think I'll have to have a little more of the extra in the freezer tonight...mmmmmmm!!!

BTW, I put it through the recipe builder with 2% milk and it was still 5 points for one cup, so I'll just stick with my whole milk. I don't think I would want to go much lighter on the milk. I do like it rich and creamy!

down on saturday

I don't mean my mood. But when I went to weigh in on Saturday I was down a pound. I was really glad about that since I had that big gain the week before. And I did have some issues with eating last week, too. Like eating every daily point and every flex point...and having a deficit of like 20 points. NOT GOOD, but I still lost. Go figure.


I am trying to do better this week. We had friends over on Sunday afternoon. I honestly could have done without the burger I had, but there was not really much else to eat. I should have made a coleslaw or salad or something, but I wasn't sure what our friends were bringing. Chips and dip and regular sodas and ice. Should have prepared more. D did grill some zucchini and bell peppers. Only problem is that it's early in the season so we didn't have much to grill. I couldn't very well pig out and not leave any veggies for anyone else.

Then we made homemade strawberry ice cream for dessert (actually MY idea). I really don't think it is as bad as store bought premium ice cream since it only had whole milk and no cream or half and half. If D hadn't been watching I would have used 2%. I should put my recipe through the recipe builder and see what it comes out to. I just estimated my points for that based on regular (not premium) ice cream. I also overdid it with the potato chips. They were just so salty and yummy.

Today, not feeling the greatest. Just craving junk food and lots of it! As well as having really stinky gas. Sorry for TMI, but I realize that too much fat or too much refined sugar and I am walking around in a green cloud for days!!! LOL

Hope you are all doing well. Life is so busy this summer that I don't have much time to read or post...but I am trying to check in with many of you to see how you are coping with the summer. I have started going to Saturday morning meetings and really LOVE my new leader there. It's much more enjoyable to stay for the meeting now! And I also go without my kids which is a big plus, too!!!

still stressed out

I'm still feeling the stress. This morning is particularly bad. But I tried to just enjoy my walk this morning. Last night I did get in a few minutes of yoga, too.

I will have a houseful of kids today...more than just my 6. Aleena has a friend here and is planning a "show" with the neighborhood girls. My twins I nanny for may stop by with their mama for a while this morning just to visit (while their dog is at the fertility vet having a "sample" taken-ew!). Then my friend has a work conflict this afternoon so her 3 yo daughter and 7 yo son will be here a couple of hours.

And my goal is to get my laundry done and wood floors scrubbed today, too.

Right now I just want to sit on the couch. *sigh*

Happy day all!

weigh in this week

It has been a hard week. I have done sooooo much stress eating. I knew my weigh in would be bad and I was prepared to face that music. I did gain 2.6. I didn't update any of my stats anywhere since I am too tired tonight.

Even with a gain, I have lost over 28 pounds. That's nothing to be ashamed of, right?! I went shopping yesterday for a new swimsuit. I didn't get one...I only tried 1 on. But I did get some shorts and strappy little tanks. The great thing about having six kids in 10 years and carrying a baby or toddler (or both) for an hour of two each day? My shoulders are HOT! I can totally get away with those little tops even though I still have some baby belly.

I am tired tonight. We've had a long weekend and it just took me like 45 minutes to log into blogger...what's my deal tonight?

But I did want to post and say, even though I ate my way through last week, I feel good about myself. I have realized (last Thursday even) that I was stress eating. I have gotten back to walking a few times a week...and I'm thinking I might pull out my yoga DVD. That's a much better way to deal with my stress, don't you think?

is that scale wrong?

I'm not talking about my bathroom scale. I mean the WW scale. I've been having loss after loss, but I just feel gross these past few days. We were sitting by the river on Sunday afternoon and I just felt FAT! Maybe it's that I just haven't been making good choices lately. Too many processed foods and not enough fruits and vegetables. And I haven't been walking lately either. After having the flu at the end of May and then a nasty cold and then going out of town with D, I just haven't made time for it.

I did go out for a walk today. It made me tired...but it felt so good.

I will post later tonight with my menu...and I've been tagged so I need to play that. But right now Kelli is having a melt down, so no time for cognitive thought right now!!!

getting closer all the time

I can't believe I lost another pound!!!

This hasn't been the greatest week as far as what I've eaten. I have "over done it" a few too many times, but I have tried to just not eat as much in the middle of the day and really make sure I get my water. It worked!!!

D and I had a great time away for a couple of days. We were definitely on the budget trip this time. We were in a borrowed cabin, and we did all our own cooking. The good thing about that is that I had much more control over what I ate...which I think is why I still had a loss. We even bought a half gallon of ice cream on our anniversary to eat while we watched a movie. We each had a big bowl....OK, mine was a HUGE bowl. But I counted it in my daily points (actually flex points!!!). And honestly, I don't think that huge bowl of ice cream was any more point-wise than a big ol' restaurant dessert would have been. That's what I love about eating in. I end up consuming less points that way, I thiink. Even when I eat filet mignon (we brought from home...we bought a quarter of beef last year so we've got some good stuff!), baked potato and salad.

I have changed how I've structured my days lately too. I always would have a big lunch, with sandwich, pretzels, veggies, and fruit that cost me about 7-9 points. I have been eating less in the middle of the day and find that I am still doing fine as far as not pigging out later. I think I'll go back to posting my menu this week so you can see what I am eating...becuase I know you are all DYING to know what I eat!!! LOLOLOL

Happy weekend all! We are having a brew party this afternoon. D is teaching some guys how to brew beer at home. And there will be plenty of "beer food" around too. I'm making hot wings and BBQ meatballs...a friend is bringing brats. And I'm sure there will be plenty of beer drinking going on as well! That's not my thing at all, thankfully!

my daughter is a bad infulence!

Aleena is like me. She loves to cook and experiment in the kitchen. That is also one way that she can show her love to her family...by making us something special. Last week I came home from work and she had made this pasta dish with a lemony olive oil sauce. It was quite interesting, and she had just made it up from the things she found in the kitchen. She was up to baking this afternoon so today's "something special" was problematic for mama.

Aleena was following a recipe in her junior cook book. She was to use cherry pie filling and refrigerated pie crusts to make little turnover things. They were very yummy...at least my 2 oldest boys thought so. And mama had a couple too many. uh-oh!

I should have been saving myself but I pigged out. Now I feel gross, but what can I do now other than beat myself up about it? And they were really yummy! LOL

I said I should have been saving myself...D told me over the weekend (or earlier maybe?) that he has found a little cabin for us to borrow for a couple of nights this week. It is our 15th wedding anniversary on Wednesday...and we will get to be ALONE in the mountains! YEAH!!!

I have no idea what we will be eating or how we will be spending our time. I probably should have saved a few flex points for that, huh? I ate them all this weekend so I'm just in trouble I guess. I will get by the best I can. And more than anything I will just enjoy this time away with my husband.

Saturday morning weigh in

I'm not sure if I like going to weigh in on Saturday mornings or not. We had people over last night and I felt like I TOTALLY had to watch myself the whole time. OK, it wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't done what I had earlier.

My oldest daughter needed to be at a birthday party at 5. Our friends were coming over at 5:30-6. Aleena and I left the house at 4:30...quick stop at Target to pick out a little gift and pick up a couple extra things for the night. All is well except I forgot that the party was way the heck out in Parker!!! I totally forgot where they lived...I thought it was about 10 minutes away. NOPE...with traffic it was like 30 minutes.

So I get Aleena there late. They were fine with it...she was fine with it...but I knew I had to get back home in total traffic...and still finish getting stuff ready for the night. The 2 couples that came over are very cool and laid back so it was no pressure to impress them. I just hate inviting people over then not even being there when they arrive.

So what did I do that was so bad? On the way back home, I am stressed out. I am starving. There is a new bag of chips SCREAMING to me to indulge. I managaed to stay out of the chips while Aleena was in the car. But as soon as I was alone...it was too tempting. I thought I'd just have a couple. YEAH RIGHT!!!

I didn't finish the bag. But I really did eat a TON of them on the way home.

The good news? I wasn't hungry for dinner so I didn't eat anything but salad with a little fat free dressing.

But I did eat some dessert. I had a little apple crisp (that I made with my home canned apple pie filling...YUMMY!!!) with a little low fat whipped cream on top. I totally didn't eat a brownie (from a mix...not as tempting! LOL) or any ice cream, though. I tried to drink lots of water to compensate for all the chips, too.

All in all, I did have a loss today. Only .6 but that does put me over the 30 pound mark!

I really can't believe I've lost 30 pounds. That's a lot of weight. And I feel so good knowing that I have done it by changing my eating habits, the way I think about food, the way I think about exercise, the way I think about ME! I've done pills and quick diets in the past, but to me those aren't long term things. I gained the weight back...and I didn't know how to lose it again without those fixes.

Now I feel like I have tools to maintain this loss and lose the little that will come with a vacation or holidays or even another pregnancy. (Did you hear that? That was my mom's heart stopping!!!) Not that any of those things are planned...but if they happen, I feel like I could cope with them and not just be totally fat again.

This has been a hard week. I finally succumbed to my little girls' cold. It's no wonder when Emma was crawling into bed with me at 5 am because she couldn't sleep and then coughed all over me for the next hour! Anyway, it has been a miserable summer cold. Congested, achy, sore throat, earaches, even. I am finally feeling better today though. So after the flu last week and with this cold, I haven't been getting out to walk. I really miss it, too, so I am hoping to get back out there tomorrow for a good walk.

Happy weekend all!

monday, monday

It was a good weekend. I posted quickly on Saturday morning that it was a busy day and would only be getting busier. I was in the midst of making strawberry jam and preserves and a marmalade and freezing strawberries. I spent about 4 hours on Friday night "putting up" strawberries. Then I was at it again Saturday morning for another 4 hours or so. I finally processed the rest of my second batch of strawberry preserves (or as I like to call it "Heaven in a Jar"! lol) on Sunday morning. This is the first of many weekends that will be spent in the kitchen putting away fresh produce for winter.

Last summer we joined a CSA. It has been an amazing experience. We go to the farm once a week during the summer and help out in the barn getting things ready for the weekly distribution. Then we bring home a bushel or two (or often more) of whatever was harvested the day before. My kids had so much fun just running around outside. And D and I really enjoyed the hard work and learning about how organic family farming works.

We also were able to can and freeze a lot of things to put away for fall and winter. It was a lot of work. One weekend we froze about 50 ears of corn. That means we blanched them all (put them in boiling water for a minute or two, then put them in ice water), D cut all the corn off the cobs and I put it in Food Saver bags and vacu-sealed it. That was just one weekend of corn. We did that a few times throughout the summer. It seems I was always canning green beans, too. Then there was the zucchini. We got really creative in how we used it fresh, and then I just started shredding it and freezing it in 4 cup bags so I could make bread or zucchini pancakes all winter.

And don't get me started on how many pickles we did last summer!!!

The amazing thing? We ran out of corn in February. I have 4 quarts (2 meals' worth) of green beans still in my basement. We have just a few jars of pickles left. I have 2 loaves of zucchini bread in the freezer left from the last bag of zucchini that we froze. And our only jam left is peach that we made last September. We really used what we put away.

I'm wondering how WW will go for me this summer when I am so very busy in the kitchen for hours on end like that. Friday night I really just ate a piece of salmon that D grilled for me. I never even sat down, just picked at it on the platter while I was hulling strawberries. I probably ate more salmon than I intended to that way. But I never even sat down. Not a good thing, I know, and really not the norm for me. But the 3 oldest kids were on a sleepover so the 3 littles were eating hot dogs and berries for dinner at the picnic table. I do get a little (LITTLE?!) OCD while I am in the kitchen like that. I am just in my zone about getting stuff done and the next batch started.

So how will I do with staying with my plan for summer when I am snapping and canning green beans for an entire Saturday morning? Or making pickles for 3 days straight? I don't take/make the time to eat well while I am doing my kitchen stuff. Will I be able to make good (fast and easy) choices? Will I take the time to really track my daily points? Or will I just be winging some days? And will winging it work as a method to lose the last 13 pounds I want to lose?

I have thought about switching to CORE for the summer. That way I wouldn't have to worry about tracking points at all...other than a few weekly points here and there. On the ohter hand, could I give up my weekend bagels or daily lunch wraps? I don't know. I have a couple more weeks to figure things out. I know things really started getting crazy last year around the beginning of July with making pickles. Then again, we are going to pick more strawberries on Saturday morning, too. I have a few more jam recipes I want to try! LOL

Oh, Kathy. Yep, my hair is naturally curly like that. Good thing, too, 'cuz I am really lazy about doing my hair!

new pic

busy week. busy day. will only get crazier as summer progresses I think. more about that later.

Today I was down .2! Not a gain, thank GOD!!! But still .2 from 30 pounds. Oh, well. I'll celebrate that next week when I can stay for my meeting! LOL