Thursday, October 18, 2007

the source of my stress

We as a family have been going through some stuff for the past few years. In fact, tomorrow is the third anniversary from really the start of a lot of issues for us. I don't need to go into it all now. Believe me, it's a long story that really barely makes sense to my hubby and I let alone our extended families, IRL friends or cyber friends.

I have been really struggling with it a lot this week. And my TOM is coming soon. I swear my oldest daughter has PMS as well even though she hasn't started that whole thing yet. The babies I nanny for and their family have had the flu. So I've been puked on and holding a little one nearly incessantly. Oh, and working a little extra so their mama could rest. And D, my husband, can't seem to shake the flu thing. He's not nearly as sick as I was. He's just been a little sick for like 2 weeks.

As I look back on my food journal this week, it hasn't been as crazy bad with the points as I would have thought. Kelli and Jack E both had their birthday last there was a chocolate cupcake...and lots of buttercream frosting. (Just can't do frosting from the can. Have you read the ingredients on that stuff? NASTY!!!)

But I have had some really bad snacks each afternoon this week. Like pretzels and spinach dip. Or Doritos. But then I really haven't eaten dinner afterwards. So less than the best nutrition, but it has kind of evened out. Today? I had some carrots, one of Becky's 1 point pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, and a 1 point chai for a snack. Much better choices.

I walked with my neighbor on Monday morning, but then she went out of town...and my motivation went with her. I stayed in bed til the last possible second each day. This morning I got up with D and the big boys who went to the farm. I hung out with my laptop even though I told myself I would walk this morning. After like an hour, I had a little epiphany. The food and exercise things are about the only things I really have control over right now. So I put on my sweats and sneakers and went for my walk. I just kept thinking about that the whole time I was out there. This walking thing...pushing myself...that is something that ONLY I can control. So when I feel like it's all falling down around me, I will committ to taking care of ME.

I will weigh in on Saturday morning like usual. Not sure how that will go. I am close to my WW goal. And then I joined in with Carolyn and Randi for a challenge to keep us all motivated through the holiday season. It is my goal to be at my high school weight by Christmas. And then to stay there for the new year, too! I think that is pretty amazing to think that at 37 and a mama to 6 kids that I could be back at that point. Not like I was thin then or anything. But it does feel good to wear a MEDIUM shirt...and find pants that easily fit and AREN'T in the "ladies" section of the store.

Rambling now...and it's time for me to start dinner. Just wanted to check in with you all and let you know that I have issues. But I am working through them the best I can.


Diet Coke and Zingers said...

I hear ya- I think I blogged about this same thing awhile ago... it's easy to fall right back into old habits when life is difficult (which is most of the time)... but yeah, weight loss is one thing we ALWAYS have control of, no matter what else is going on in our lives. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling poopy right now, but as you know, life is amazing and it never stays the same... which, when life is tough, is a GREAT gift.

Kathy said...

You know I wish you all the best and hope any problems you face are temporary and easy to overcome.

And...just can unload on this cyber friend anytime you want!

Anonymous said...

I couldnt find that receipe for Pumpkin muffins. Do you mind posting it on your site? Hate to bother but man that sounds delish.

WeightBGone said...

Sorry you are having some difficult times. Hopefully things will get better for you soon.

Take care and have a good weekend. :)

CaRoLyN said...

Hope the whole family is feeling much better soon. It truly amazes me that you can keep a family that size under control and still manage to lsoe weight and get some "ME" time. Good for you for getting out for a walk. I know you must have felt great about it afterwards!

I'm sending lots of positive and supportive thoughts your way and hope that the issues fade over time.

Skinny Guy said...

I know about the whole stress thing, but life is going to happen to you no matter what you do. It's what you do when it happens that makes a difference! Never give up control of those things that you can control.

Great job with recognizing that while you took your walk. You should be proud of how far you've come already.

Good luck!