Friday, November 30, 2007

what was I thinking?

Yesterday I think I kept eating little nibbles of this and that to feel better. Guess what? It didn't make me feel better, only worse. Dinner was the worst. I wasn't really that hungry. I'd been sitting on the couch all afternoon with a feverish preschooler who had had a HUGE puking episode in the car with Daddy. I threw a roast in the oven for the family early in the afternoon, but that was as far as I got. I knew I still had some leftovers from Thankssgiving (stuffing, sweet potatoes and cauliflower) to round it all out. I really wastn' planning on eating dinner.

But those leftovers suddenly looked sooooo good to me. I ate way more candied sweet potatoes last night than I should have. I wasn't even really hungry. And if I wanted sweet potato, I could have "baked" one in the microwave for far less points. But I didn't. I just made bad choices for dinner. Then I ate some chocolate-y popcorn after the kids were in bed (Thanks for bringing that out, mom!).

And I felt gross. I felt out of control and like that fat mama again. Today the bathroom scale (always a little higher than the WW scale) said 155.8. UGH! I've also been having a hard time drinking my water since I've been sick. I just am not interested in it. But I know I need my liquids. Gotta work on that.

So I am trying to reclaim my day today. I was starving when I woke up, but couldn't decide what to eat. I did eat a piece of toast while the kids were getting ready. That satisfied me for awhile. And I just took some banana bread out of the oven so I had a slice of that (only 2 points per slice so not totally a splurge). I think I may make some of Kathy's soup too. Maybe that will get me over my munchie hump!

Tongight we have a party with the neighbors. Not sure what will be there, but we are supposed to bring 3 pounds of crab per person and an appetizer or a dessert. Two ounces of cooked crab=1 point, not bad. But I need to leave room in my day for it.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

sick again?

I have been trying to fight this cold for days and days, but I think I have surrendered to it finally. I just feel awful today! I think I was convinced that I would just barely be sick. Today I am embracing my sickness! Sweat pants, slipper socks, glasses and all. My 2 littles who are home today are sick too, so we are just hanging out being lazy.

Last night we had a big holiday party to go to. We were all supposed to bring a bottle of wine and either a "hearty appetizer" or a dessert. I really didn't want to just go overboard because it was a buffet line. I did pretty well. I did get lots of veggies, a few shrimp with a little cocktail sauce, a spinach-y baked thing that had breadcrumbs in it, a tiny spoon of some sour cream dip and 3 cubes of bread to dip it in, and some fruit. There was a little plate of olives on the table. I probably had a dozen olives throughout the evening. And about as many cups of water, too!

There were a lot of little appetizers that just didn't look too appetizing to me....mini taco's, TONS of meatballs. I did put a couple things on my plate that I took a bite of and decided they didn't deserve to be finished. And I skipped the dessert table entirely. There were Giarhadelli (sp?) chocolate squares at each place at the tables we were seated at. Mine was minty. I broke it into 4 pieces and ate one little square then another. I stopped at 2. yay me! Later I did look at the dessert table. The only thing that really looked good was a big ol' chocolate cake. But it was something I would enjoy at home in a binge with some diet Coke to wash it down. Not something I would enjoy nearly as much in public. Hello...I'm Noelle...and I have some eating disorders...

Anyway. I still went home feeling bloated. I don't know if it was all the water or all the olives or just the fact that I had on control top nylons that I NEVER wear. (BTW, recently I had to buy nylons. It was the first time in over a decade that I bought size B and not queen size.)

I know too often during the holidays we use each and every celebration to just go crazy and eat whatever is in sight. But we have another party tomorrow night and some friends are taking us to dinner on Sunday night. I can't afford (weight wise) to enjoy each of those occaisions like there is not another meal in my future. So I will try to pick and choose wisely the next week. Last night felt like a success. I didn't track. I didn't feel deprived. But I didn't eat with abandon either.

Oh, and I don't really like wine so I didn't have any of that either. Last week at my meeting, my leader shared a stat that said we up our liquid calorie intake three times during the holidays what with all the alcohol and extra trips to Starbucks while we are out shopping. YUCK

OK, going to try to get a quick nap before the bus drops kids off in half an hour. Send me some good health vibes, OK?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

core vs. flex

Kathy's comment about what she will and won't snack on and Skinny Guy's comment about going to CORE for maintenance got me thinking...

It talks about switching more often that weekly between the two plans when you are on maintenance. Like doing CORE during the week (when life is structured and usually easier) and FLEX for the weekends (for when those splurges are more often). Because with maintenance on CORE you get like 63 WPA or some outrageously crazy number like that. I have always been hesitant to do CORE since I love my baked things and such. FLEX has taught me to enjoy them more judiciously, though.

So maybe I need to look into the CORE thing a little closer. My day so far has definitely NOT been CORE friendly. Bagel and light cream cheese for breakfast, granola for a snack, turkey sandwich and cabbage salad for lunch, apple for snack and some crackery things for snack too.

Very carb heavy day, huh? Not typical for me. But I am fighting a cold and just don't feel good. (That's my version of an excuse!!! LOL)

I have 7 points plus my 2 AP's for dinner. That's really do-able for me. I know some people talk about the night being so hard with food and snacking. That's not typically my issue. I am STARVING in the morning...and my "hard time" is afterschool when everyone is having their snack. But after dinner I'm usually not very interested in munching...I'm usually dozing in front of the TV by 9:15 anyway!

Now I just have to get my week 1 book back from my neighbor so I can see what CORE is really about...back to basics, right Kathy?

hypocrite

Yep, that's me! What did I say about not eating crap for emotional reasons?

Not really sure why, but as the kids got off the bus yesterday, I found myself grabbing the bag of chips and munching away. I was kind of hungry and feeling stressed and just feeling crappy from my cold...I did switch to pea pods and dip, but it didn't feel the same.

I had to run one of my son's to drum lessons and I grabbed a few more chips before that. The good news though? I looked in the bag and realized the chips were almost gone. Instead of calling it a loss and just finishing them off, I decided I would NOT finish that bag of chips and put them back in the pantry. Hopefully one of the kids will eat them before I grab them again.

I listened to my body, though, and didn't eat dinner. The kids were having a box (OK two boxes, and it should have been three to fill them up) of mac and cheese for dinner. I had planned on a turkey sandwich and some cabbage salad. I had the cabbage but wasn't really hungry so skipped the sandwich. I had had turkey soup for lunch and and egg for breakfast so I was doing OK protein wise...and I'd had yogurt and string cheese for snack. So I just let it go.

I didn't go to bed hungry or wake up starved so I guess it all worked out. I finished my day using one flex point. So pointwise I didn't go over much but I didn't use my points as well as I could have either.

It's a new day and I'll try to do better. But I had to confess my chip transgressions!

Monday, November 26, 2007

balance

This is interesging...trying to find the balance between losing and maintaining. I guess I have never really had a lot of experience just maintaining a weight. No, that's not true. I have maintained my weight for months at a time, but then if it would go up I didn't really know how to reign it in.

This is a great feeling, though, to not be "dieting" but just vigilant about what I am eating. My walking partner asked me this morning if I would continue to eat the WW way now that I am maintaining.

I said yes, but that in many ways I had always eaten that way. I have always loved whole grains and veggies. I haven't always chosen lean meats or dairy. I think meat is one thing that I have really cut my portions back with. I used to really love my beef and pork and chicken. I still do, but I don't eat as much of them as I used to. I eat a 3-4 oz portion and save those other points for treats.

And treats...that is one area that I have really changed my mindset. Mama time used to mean eat time. I ate if I was tired, if I was stressed, if I was worried, if I was just happy to be by myself for a little while. I have really learned with WW that eating for any of those reasons is really not worth it. Eating when I am tired or stressed or emotional doesn't really make me feel better. It takes my mind off the emotion for a little while, but it's still there. Then I have the excess calories to contend with. And I have had too many carb-y slumps to pull myself out of to really say it was worth it.

Now my mama time is my daily walk...or reading blogs or writing on my blog. Or searching for new recipes for something I am craving. I am trying to learn ways of dealing with my feelings that are helpful to me and not something that makes me feel guilty later.

So yeah, I guess I will keep eating the WW way. That is such a big ambiguous thing, but the way it has worked for me will continue to keep me healthy. So why not?

Saturday, November 24, 2007

what the???

I was so apprehensive about going to WI today. I totally went overboard last Sunday. I ate a lot on Thanksgiving. But I was really restrictive with myself the rest of the week. Yesterday I drank a TON of water...even last night I was guzzling the stuff.

This morning at WI? I was down 1.6 for the week. I should have posted a warning that if you gained this week you may not want to read on because you might be pissed. I honestly don't know how that happened.

But I am thankful!!! So the receptionist told me to add another daily point. That brings me to 28 daily points plus my 35 WPA. That is a lot. I think I need to change my mindset in some ways, too. I am always concerned about going over so I stick to low point foods. Maybe it's OK to indulge a little more? Hot damn is all I have to say to that!

I know for me there will be a fine line between indulging a little and bingeing. But like maybe I could have a whole sandwhich now instead of just a half? And maybe the next time we have burritos I can eat the plain old flour tortilla with beans and regular cheese and regular sour cream? OK, maybe a whole wheat tortilla with regular dairy?

After all the changes I've made in the past year, it does seem really strange to let some of that go. But I will just continue to watch the scale and follow that as my lead.

Friday, November 23, 2007

this is complicated

In some ways, this whole maintenance thing has been easy (since I am just finishing the first week! LOL), but Thanksgiving yesterday and our big party last Sunday make it complicated.

I went overboard with the chips and dip on Sunday at the party. Then I ate well on Mon, Tues and Wed. I watched the scale come down each morning a little more until yesterday I weighed 153.6. Perfect!!! But then there's the Thanksgiving thing. I really tried to make good choices. I skipped the mashed potatoes. Honestly, they were yummy (I tasted for seasoning) but they are the same old mashed potatoes I make every week, so why eat them when I could have something else? And I tried to have lots of veggies, too. But I was on my feet in the kitchen for hours all day. And I did not drink hardly any water. I don't know why I just want to drink diet coke when I am in the kitchen. So unhelpful for me! Oh, the big cheese plate that D made yesterday while I was cooking didn't do me any favors either!

But all in all, I was happy with myself. I tried to make good choices, but more importantly I didn't start TODAY with the holiday mindset. I have TONS of leftovers (after spending a day and half in the kitchen I don't plan on cooking again untill Monday!!!), but I had a healthy and low point breakfast that I knew would hold me for the morning (bear mush with a little cooked pumpkin). Then I sat down and planned out my morning snacks (which I didn't eat) and my lunch of turkey sandwhich and some leftovers. I will have some of that for dinner as well, but with potion control in mind for sure.

This morning I was up 3 pounds from yesterday morning. I know it's not all a real gain, but I do have to WI in the morning...and be under 157!!! Though I haven't seen that number since September sometime, I wouldn't be surprised to see a gain tommorrow.

My leader reminded us all that we need to go to the meeting this week, but whether or not we WI is up to us. Except for me. I have to WI as part of my maintenance. But it's good to not fear the scale so much now.

I really need to get my head around this new thinner me. I do have a hard time realizing that I am not so heavy as I used to be. Not that I still have the fat girl mindset that ruled me for too long...the one that weighed obsessively, starved myself after a binge, took a laxative out of guilt for what I'd eaten that day. And not the fat girl mindset I still get that feels like, well, I've eaten all but 3 cookies, I may as well finish them off. There are just a couple bites of that left, I'll just finish it.

But I really have a hard time realizing that I am kind of thin. I know my BMI still puts me at overweight. And a size 10 isn't tiny. But the other day at Target I saw some other women go into Target. They are women that I would think of as thin. They were looking at some sweaters and I heard, "can you find a medium?" It hit me that I wear a medium, too. I wear the same size as these thin women. Does that mean other people think I am thin?

Now, don't get my wrong, I don't have some totally distorted image of myself...I do see big changes in myself. I know I could lose more weight and still be healthy. I am really not interested in losing more weight right now. I am happy with this body. But I am just having a hard time getting used to it. I am still midly surprised every time I put on my jeans and they fit. And yesterday I wore my size 8 skirt and it wasn't even snug. That is just so unbelievable to me sometimes.

BTW, I have been having internet issues the past couple days. I have read up on you all but I haven't been able to post many comments. I hope you all have had a great holiday...and that we can all go into December ready to celebrate and not just pig out on a daily basis.

I am so thankful for all of your support. I totally feel like you are my WW meeting whenever I just need a little boost!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

maintenance

I have arrived!!!

I talked with my leader this morning and my new WW goal is set for 155. She really wants us to have WW Lifetime goals that are maintainable for LIFE not just a little while. I have been under 155 for a few weeks now, but this is my first official week of maintenance. Just in time for Thanksgiving! LOL

I have reset my ticker at the top and updated my sidebar. I have also removed my Christmas Challenge stuff. I don't know that I want to go down to 145...and I sure don't need the added stress of trying to get there at this time of year. For me, every week that passed and I wasn't getting way closer just added stress and feelings of frustration with myself. I don't need any more of that these days.

So my personal goal is 152...that is the lowest number I have seen on the WW scale since I started this journey. Who am I kidding, that is the lowest number I have seen on the scale in more than 15 years! I do feel really good about my body right now. I want to just maintain my weight and exercise plan (morning walks with the neighbor) through the end of the year. In January I'd like to start working on toning my flabby belly some more, but I'm not pushing it in the next 6 weeks. This is good for now.

I'm kind of rambling. I'm really excited right now. And I am still anxious about Thanksgiving coming up. But I am the one cooking so I can control what is prepared and offered. And like my leader said this morning, it's a holiDAY not a holiWEEK. I have one meal on Thursday that will be huge. Other than that I need to just keep it all in check.

Oh, and this morning marked my TOM's arrival, too, so I may see a little loss later this week when that disappears. But then again, it's Thanksgiving so who knows. And my goal is just to MAINTAIN now, so I don't have to worry about a loss. What a relief!!!

Friday, November 16, 2007

hard week

So I had said that this week would turn out OK after my big weekend as long as I kept it all close to my daily points all week, right?

There has been more eating out this week than I can remember in a LOOOOONG time. We just don't usually spend the money on food out. I like to cook and we just can't afford to dine out. So BIL #1 took us to pizza Sunday night. MMMMM. Monday was a great OP day. Tuesday was a good day, too. I was having some "tummy troubles" (I think it was my belly rebelling from all the pizza on Sunday). Then Wednesday we had the funeral, graveside service and then went to the family dinner at Country buffet...at 2 pm when I was STARVING!!!!

I had a big salad with lite Italian dressing, a baked potato with tons of salsa and jalapeno slices, some steamed broccoli, little broiled fish fillet and some grilled veggies. For dessert, I chose a little bit of SF vanilla soft serve and a couple bites of hot fudge cake. I wasn't stuffed by any means...but I still just felt icky! D tried not to eat too much either, but his belly was really upset. When you don't eat food out too often, I guess your body just isn't used to it.

Anyway, we decided to just take it easy for dinner. Like leftovers or cereal or whatever. I didn't really want to eat and neither did D. But then BIL #2 (who is diabetic) needed to eat something. He offered to pay for pizza for us all. D ordered from a place we had never had before. I HAD to taste it, right?! It was yummy...and I had 2 squares. It was an extra large pizza cut into 20 squares...my 2 couldn't be too bad right?

I was totally full after that. Yesterday I tried to do well. And I did, too. I had a great OP monring at work. I took Jack E and Kelli with me to take care of my twins. Busy day for sure! And everything I tried to eat, I had 4 little mouths asking for a bite! We got home around 2 and all 3 of us took a nap. When I woke up I was starving again. And I was alone. Big kids weren't home from school and the little kids were both asleep. That leftover pizza was calling my name.

I had 3 squares at 3 in the afternoon. But then that wound up being my dinner since I was so full. I actually stayed close to my daily points yesterday, I just didn't really make the greatest choices.

Needless to say, my morning scale reading has been all over the place this week. I have been up a lot and back down a lot...today I'm lower than my last Saturday's WI, but not as low as Tuesday morning. I'm hoping to get lots of water today and just let the chips fall where they may. This week has been completely abnormal for me so I'm not terribly concerned about what the scale says.

I need to get some stuff done around here. My twins and their brother are coming over tonight while their parents have a date night. I need to make it at least LOOK like I clean my house sometimes! LOL

I'll be back tomorrow to let you all know how my WI goes and how my leader responds to my saying I want 155 to be my goal.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

plodding along

Sunday was hard, food wise. I just had that bottomless pit feeling in the morning so I ate a lot at breakfast. For lunch, we just came home from church and had sandwiches and chips and fruit. I overdid it with the chips I know. Then my big boys decided they wanted to take our visiting uncle to Beau Jo's for dinner. This is a local place known for it's Mountain Pies and big crust on the edges which they serve honey for. Their pizza is truly fabulous. And they have a buffet Sunday nights where the kids pay 50¢ for every year old they are. They lose money on my big boys, I think.

I did as well as I could have. I had a big salad from the salad bar with only V&O for dressing. Then I decided to let myself eat 2 slices of pizza. They had 3 "plain" pizzas (chesse, pepperoni and sausage) and then 3 "special" pizzas. I couldn't decide so had all 3 special pizzas. After I finished I totally wanted more. But I sat and just hung out. Then I realized that I was really stuffed. I did eat a couple extra crusts from the kids with that yummy honey, but I did stay pretty close to my plan.

Yesterday the scale rewarded me with a big 3 pound gain. I hate that!!! Even though I know it's probably just transient, it always scares the crap out of me!

Today I was down 4 pounds from yesterday...THANK GOD!!! I really tried to get lots of water and just stay within my daily points. I did go over by 2, but not too bad considering all the junk I ate on the weekend. That's always hard when I eat with abandon on the weekend. It's hard to jump back on the wagon. So I think that after the weekend I had 2 flexies left. Those were eaten yesterday so I need to keep it in check all week.

Looking back at my food journals for the past few weeks, I realized that I didn't neccessarily eat more points all week last week than in the past. But I normally have big weekends and then stay pretty close to my target during the week. Since I weigh in on Saturdays, that totally works for me. Last week I had more high days just throughout the week even though my weekend wasn't that big. So I guess these are just the normal fluctuations of the scale, but I saw that big gain when I didn't want one.

Did that make sense? LOL

I haven't officially reset my WW goal though I think I can do it online if I want to. I do think that I will reset it for 155. That gives me a cushion for those monthly scale fluctuations. And even though I want to start the maintenance phase, I don't by any means think that I am 'done' or 'healed' from my weight issues. In fact yesterday I signed up for Spark People to see how my days were coming together. I feel like I don't get enough protein...too many carbs, and that was confirmed yesterday. But I agree with Randi that it's a pain in the butt to input all that stuff. That's why I stopped doing my WW tracker online...I don't have the patience to input all that when I can just scribble it down in my journal.

I am on my WW wagon other than the pizza and chips on Sunday. So I'll just wait till the weekend and see what happens at my meeting on Saturday.

I've had many interruptions in the past couple of paragraphs, can you tell? I guess my kids are done with my bloggin for the morning!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

up again

I was up 2.2 at weigh in yesterday. Not sure what that was about. Yes, I haven't had the greatest week, but I didn't think it was that bad. I don't eat out of stress as much as I used to, but I do drink a lot more diet Coke and a lot less water when I am stressed out. Maybe that's it?

Anyway. I am also starting to rethink my goal. I have talked about this before how I set my numbers based on the WW chart and what I weighed in high school. I am not sure I care so much about that number right now.

I honestly feel good as a size 10. I never thought I would wear that. And each morning when I pull on my jeans I am pleasantly surprised to see that they still fit!

I want to work on the muscle tone in my belly, for sure. But I don't feel like I have a ton more belly fat that I need to get rid of. Is my belly flat? Nope, but I am 37 and have been pregnant A LOT in the past 12 years...often with less than 18 months between pregnancies. i don't expect to have my belly look like it did when I was 17, so why do I need to focus on that same number?

I guess this week has been refocusing for me. Maybe my priorities have changed a little. I don't know. But I think I may be done with losing and ready to focus on maintenance. I sent an email to my leader this morning asking what she thinks. I'll wait to see what she says and then make a decision.

What do you think, Kathy?

Thursday, November 8, 2007

party pooper

Yeah I'm one. I got tagged and I just don't want to play right now.

Hubby and I went to visit his very sick unlce last night and he died within minutes of us walking into the house.

I don't want to play today.

Sorry...and thanks for the kind words the other day. You all are so great. I'll share some trivial facts when I'm feeling a little more fun.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

one of those days

I had to go to a thing this morning that was just a little stressful...and I just feel out of sorts this afternoon. I haven't been drinking my water like I should. And I wanted to just EAT to relieve some stress after my lunch. I thought for a long time aobut what I should binge on. I had some bread and butter...then a piece of chocolate. Totally not good choices...not a good idea.

Do I feel better? A little, but I wish I could forget about making dinner tonight. Unfortunately we had spaghetti last night. So that easy not really cooking meal is done. And we can't afford to go out. So I guess I will be heading into the kitchen soon to start making our dinner. Chicken pot pie is my plan. D just brought home some yummy looking veggies from our farm share, so I'll use some leeks, yukon gold potatoes, carrots and fresh broccli and fresh celery in the filling with the chicken. This recipe just uses thickened chicken stock as the base so it's a lot lower in fat than other versions.

I guess it's time to move on from my emotional eating, go to the kitchen and get on with my life. And I think I should have a drink of water.

Monday, November 5, 2007

I was reading some other blogs and saw this silly thing about Starbucks. Since hubby works there and I don't like coffee, I tried it. You can click here and do your own.

The all-knowing Oracle of Starbucks
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Hippie

In addition to being a hippie, you are a hypochondriac and a health nut. You secretly think that your insistence on only consuming all-natural products is because you're so intelligent and well-informed; it's actually because you're a sucker. You've dabbled in Wicca or other pseudo-religions that attract morons and have changed your sexual orientation a few times this year. You probably live in California. Everyone who drinks grande soy 2 pump chai latte should be forced to eat a McDonald's bacon cheeseburger.

Also drinks: Beverages with lots of marketing that says they're herbal and organic
Can also be found at: Whole Foods, indoor rock climbing facilities

OK...that is kinda true. I am a little hippie-ish. My college roommate and I had beads in our doorway, a futon and pillows for furniture and hung tie dyed sheets on our walls for decoration. I totally can and freeze stuff for my family. I love to cook from scratch so I can avoid a lot of additives in our food. But I swear I have diet Coke in my veins because I drink so much of it.

Anyway...good for killing a little time.

The weekend around here was pretty low key and much better points wise than some weekends have been. I made a yummy soup yesterday in the crock pot. Just browned ground beef, a bag and a half of frozen veggies, some diced tomatoes, onion soup and a can of chick peas. I have been using my old standard Better Homes and Gardens cookbook a lot lately. It just has so many basic things in it. And most of the recipes don't have a lot of prepackaged food in them. It was so yummy just to have a big ol' pot of soup for us. I made a big salad, too. Emma thought she'd have some. Now that she's a big 1st grader and eating lunch at school every day she often will choose to have a small salad with lunch there. She didn't like mine because I used spinach instead of lettuce.

More for mama!

One of the things I really love about WW is being able to eat things that just taste so good to me. I have always been someone who chooses vegetables and whole grains. I like the taste of them. But it's easy for me to overdo it on fried stuff or ice cream, too, don't get me wrong. I didn't get up to 193 by pigging out on whole wheat veggie wraps!

Today for lunch I packed a turkey sandwich on Double Fiber bread. I had tons of lettuce and a little lite mayo. When I was ready to eat it, I added some sliced tomato. It was just so yummy. I didn't feel like I was eating diet-y food at all. I also had some leftover salad from yesterday. I had a little reduced fat feta on it and just red wine vinegar to dress it. It just tasted really good to me. I think that is part of why I am so excited to be nearing maintenance with WW. I will be able to have that occaisional splurge without guilt, but I will also be able to eat food that I like and is good for me.

I love that.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

41 down, 2 to go

Can you believe that? I lost 1.6 this week!!! That means I am 2 pounds from that Lifetime/Maintenance thing with WW!!!

I honestly didn't think this would take so long. But I have a lifetime of bad habits to break. I have been a binge eater, a stress eater, a mindless eater, a tired mama who rewarded herself with LOTS of junk food during naps and after bedtime...so it's no wonder it's taken me 11 months to get this far.

I am so excited to know that I am doing a program I can maintain. I have never felt that with any other "diet" that I have done. Slimfast only worked as long as I drank my shakes...well, actually I gained weight after I got pregnant with my oldest. The low carb thing is NOT a lifestyle program for me. I just like my carbs too much. And I gained that weigh back when I got pregnant with my 4th. Neither of those "diet"s taught me how to live after those babies were born. I finally feel like I have the tools to maintain this weight. I guess that is the goal of WW, right?

I stopped at Krispy Kreme on the way home from WI and got a dozen for the kids. I put them on the back seat so they wouldn't' be just sitting there temptin me. Then I went to Einstein's and got my bagel treat. So far no doughnuts for me. I know they aren't inherently evil...but just a lot of points...and they have that addicting quality that makes me want more and more. Why is it my kids can have one and be satisfied? I guess I've done something right, huh?

And I have still not had any Halloween candy. To be honest, yesterday Trey gave me a nibble of a nestle crunch crisp. It was like a cross between a kit kat and crucnh bar. Those are 2 of my favorites. I just had a TINY nibble. The kids still have tons of candy sitting around. And they have eaten like 2 for afterschool snack and 2 after dinner each day. I'm so proud of them for not just pigging out! I have taught them well. Candy isn't bad...it has its place in a balanced diet...but it's important to have lots of healthy food too.

YAY for my kids!!!

BTW...the doughnuts are now gone. A dozen doughnuts and 6 kiddos is a PERFECT combination! :o)

Friday, November 2, 2007

Just work the program!

Being this close to goal, it's hard to just stay patient. This morning the scale was up 2 pounds from yesterday morning. I've cut back to weighing every morning from the 10-20 times a day I was doing in the summer. It was literally part of my potty ritual, getting on the scale before and after. I guess that's a little hold over from my eating disorder days.

Anyway, the scale was up today. Was it the chicken stir fry last night? Was yesterday a fluke? I don't know...all I know is that I have to just follow the program. I have lost nearly 40 pounds that way. I haven't had any Halloween candy this year. NONE...and you know there is a ton around here. It just doesn't sound so tempting now that I am not gorging myself daily on sugar. I did have a skinny cow last night. I wanted a treat that would satisfy me...and take longer to enjoy.

I have earned 14 AP's this week, too. I did a walk/run on Saturday, then the neighbor and I have walked every morning but Tuesday this week. That's big progress for me, too.

So I just wait. Will I be below the 40 pound mark tomorrow at weigh in? I sure as hell hope so since I was only .6 from it last week. I really want to be at goal to know I have accomplished that. But really not a lot will change for me. So why am I in such a hurry?

Thursday, November 1, 2007

so far so good

It's now the day after Halloween and I have yet to eat any of the kids' candy. This morning the scale said 151.6. So close to that 150 mark.

Yesterday was a great OP day. I have really focused on eating well this week and it has felt great. Tons of water this week, too. I did have a little 100 cal pack of cookies on the way home from work. That was my treat/stress eating moment. I so want to keep this up and be oh so very close to goal at weigh in on Saturday.

I was just not in the mood for our walk this morning. The good thing about going with a neighbor at the crack of dawn is that I just about HAVE to get up and go. I know she will be waiting for me and I don't want her standing outside in the dark by herself. Yesterday we did our hilly route. I felt like I did great...we had a really great pace going. Today I was just tired and cold. At least we went, right? That's 3 walks this week and we are on planning on tomorrow, too. I really hope tomorrow is warmer.

I'm totally rambling right now, but I wanted to add that anothe of my neighbors and her coworker are joining WW tonight. I gave her the little "get your friends to join" flyer they had out last week. I also gave her my first week book to look at. I wanted her to know what it was really like. Her work (a public school) will pay for some of her fees, too. I am so excited for her! I told her to make sure they take their measurements tonight, too, so they can gauge their progress that way too. I should get a commission. This is the second person I have gotten to sign up for WW. It has worked so amazingly well for me...I can't help but think it's an awesome program.

Happy November everyone!