In some ways, this whole maintenance thing has been easy (since I am just finishing the first week! LOL), but Thanksgiving yesterday and our big party last Sunday make it complicated.
I went overboard with the chips and dip on Sunday at the party. Then I ate well on Mon, Tues and Wed. I watched the scale come down each morning a little more until yesterday I weighed 153.6. Perfect!!! But then there's the Thanksgiving thing. I really tried to make good choices. I skipped the mashed potatoes. Honestly, they were yummy (I tasted for seasoning) but they are the same old mashed potatoes I make every week, so why eat them when I could have something else? And I tried to have lots of veggies, too. But I was on my feet in the kitchen for hours all day. And I did not drink hardly any water. I don't know why I just want to drink diet coke when I am in the kitchen. So unhelpful for me! Oh, the big cheese plate that D made yesterday while I was cooking didn't do me any favors either!
But all in all, I was happy with myself. I tried to make good choices, but more importantly I didn't start TODAY with the holiday mindset. I have TONS of leftovers (after spending a day and half in the kitchen I don't plan on cooking again untill Monday!!!), but I had a healthy and low point breakfast that I knew would hold me for the morning (bear mush with a little cooked pumpkin). Then I sat down and planned out my morning snacks (which I didn't eat) and my lunch of turkey sandwhich and some leftovers. I will have some of that for dinner as well, but with potion control in mind for sure.
This morning I was up 3 pounds from yesterday morning. I know it's not all a real gain, but I do have to WI in the morning...and be under 157!!! Though I haven't seen that number since September sometime, I wouldn't be surprised to see a gain tommorrow.
My leader reminded us all that we need to go to the meeting this week, but whether or not we WI is up to us. Except for me. I have to WI as part of my maintenance. But it's good to not fear the scale so much now.
I really need to get my head around this new thinner me. I do have a hard time realizing that I am not so heavy as I used to be. Not that I still have the fat girl mindset that ruled me for too long...the one that weighed obsessively, starved myself after a binge, took a laxative out of guilt for what I'd eaten that day. And not the fat girl mindset I still get that feels like, well, I've eaten all but 3 cookies, I may as well finish them off. There are just a couple bites of that left, I'll just finish it.
But I really have a hard time realizing that I am kind of thin. I know my BMI still puts me at overweight. And a size 10 isn't tiny. But the other day at Target I saw some other women go into Target. They are women that I would think of as thin. They were looking at some sweaters and I heard, "can you find a medium?" It hit me that I wear a medium, too. I wear the same size as these thin women. Does that mean other people think I am thin?
Now, don't get my wrong, I don't have some totally distorted image of myself...I do see big changes in myself. I know I could lose more weight and still be healthy. I am really not interested in losing more weight right now. I am happy with this body. But I am just having a hard time getting used to it. I am still midly surprised every time I put on my jeans and they fit. And yesterday I wore my size 8 skirt and it wasn't even snug. That is just so unbelievable to me sometimes.
BTW, I have been having internet issues the past couple days. I have read up on you all but I haven't been able to post many comments. I hope you all have had a great holiday...and that we can all go into December ready to celebrate and not just pig out on a daily basis.
I am so thankful for all of your support. I totally feel like you are my WW meeting whenever I just need a little boost!