I haven't posted here in so long. I'm trying to figure out eating more traditional foods, and maintaining my weight loss. That part hasn't been much of a problem.
My trouble has been with working nights again (4 eight hour nights/week) and not eating junk to compensate for fatigue. I realize now that was part of my survival mode when all my kids were little. When I started with WW I was well rested and doing OK in that respect. Now? I'm tired. And peanut M&M's just sound like a good idea way too often.
That has added up to gaining 5 pounds again. Once again, I'm not happy with how my jeans fit. I feel that pudge in my belly and hate it. And I really need to tone up this body before swimsuit season rolls around again.
Trying to figure it out. Really wanting to nap.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
more updates
I posted on my kitchen blog about why we will continue to eat butter and phase out all artificial sweeteners. You can read that here.
Last night I was talking to my mom about the book I am reading and how it contradicts a lot of what WW stresses. I have thought about that a little since then.
How did I get overweight to begin with? Let's see....there was pints of ice cream on the couch late at night. There were giant gas station muffins eaten nearly every day after breakfast as I drove kids to school. There were lots of trips through the drive through to get food I wasn't even always hungry for. (I must say that being alone in the car was reason to eat for me. Even if it wasn't meal time. It was my reward to eat food ALONE.)
Did eating butter on my vegetables make me fat? I really doubt it with all that up there. Even in the past few months as I gained a little extra weight, I know it came from eating handfuls of cereal out of the box every time I walked by the pantry. Sure it's not froot loops, but it's not rolled oats either.
I did learn a lot of valuable things from my time with WW. If nothing else, I got myself away from those empty foods and eating real foods more of the time. I addressed a lot of my emotional reasons for eating and bingeing. And I'm not saying I'm done there. I had great comments from Clindermuth (I think that was her name) last week on incorporating WW into a more whole foods mentality. That is my plan at this point. By sticking to more traditional foods I will also stay away from the foods that cause me to want to binge. Honestly, a handful of goldfish beckons for more of the same. An apple? Not so much! I will be transitioning our family away from those foods too. I look at them and while they are mostly all at healthy weights, I see them going back for more and more of the same foods that are the least nutritional in our house. I want health for them too, not just lean bodies.
So stay tuned as I try to figure this out. You can either be here to see how we are transformed or simple say I told you so when I weigh 200 pounds again by summer.
Last night I was talking to my mom about the book I am reading and how it contradicts a lot of what WW stresses. I have thought about that a little since then.
How did I get overweight to begin with? Let's see....there was pints of ice cream on the couch late at night. There were giant gas station muffins eaten nearly every day after breakfast as I drove kids to school. There were lots of trips through the drive through to get food I wasn't even always hungry for. (I must say that being alone in the car was reason to eat for me. Even if it wasn't meal time. It was my reward to eat food ALONE.)
Did eating butter on my vegetables make me fat? I really doubt it with all that up there. Even in the past few months as I gained a little extra weight, I know it came from eating handfuls of cereal out of the box every time I walked by the pantry. Sure it's not froot loops, but it's not rolled oats either.
I did learn a lot of valuable things from my time with WW. If nothing else, I got myself away from those empty foods and eating real foods more of the time. I addressed a lot of my emotional reasons for eating and bingeing. And I'm not saying I'm done there. I had great comments from Clindermuth (I think that was her name) last week on incorporating WW into a more whole foods mentality. That is my plan at this point. By sticking to more traditional foods I will also stay away from the foods that cause me to want to binge. Honestly, a handful of goldfish beckons for more of the same. An apple? Not so much! I will be transitioning our family away from those foods too. I look at them and while they are mostly all at healthy weights, I see them going back for more and more of the same foods that are the least nutritional in our house. I want health for them too, not just lean bodies.
So stay tuned as I try to figure this out. You can either be here to see how we are transformed or simple say I told you so when I weigh 200 pounds again by summer.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
the good and the bad
So while I figure out what I will be eating and feeding my family, I need to take a step back and remind myself that even thought I went back to WW two weeks ago, I have been happily maintaining my weight for over a year now. Sure I'd like to lose a little more, but that will happen in it's time.
I have felt like I need to get moving more. What in the non-WW world we call exercise. I am not a super sedentary person. In fact, from about 3 in the afternoon until dinner I don't sit down unless I am driving someone somewhere. I am up and down stairs all day, toting laundry or whatever. But I know I need to just get out there and walk again. I liked the way my body looked when I was doing that consistently. Even when I was still in the 170's, I liked the firmness that comes from regular walking. I decided to focus my energy there for now. I had 3 walks this week. Sunday afternoon, Tuesday afternoon and this morning. That will be my heath goal for now.
The bad for me? You've heard, "you had me at hello?" Rene Zellwegger said it in Jerry McGuire and Kenny Chesney had a song by that titile. And that fact alone is weird to me since they were married for like 8 months or something.
ANY-way!!! For me it started at the food bank yesterday afternoon when the sweet little woman said, "would you like to take a cake?" When I said yes, I knew I would eat much processed sugar and refined white flour before the day was done. Thankfully it was only a quarter of a sheet cake and I gave the kids hefty slices after dinner. Then I proceeded to eat what was left. Honestly I picked at it because it was a lot of gross frosting and dry cake.
But I knew when I agreed to a cake what my response would be at home. I made the choice then and there. Next time I really need to say no to cake!
I have felt like I need to get moving more. What in the non-WW world we call exercise. I am not a super sedentary person. In fact, from about 3 in the afternoon until dinner I don't sit down unless I am driving someone somewhere. I am up and down stairs all day, toting laundry or whatever. But I know I need to just get out there and walk again. I liked the way my body looked when I was doing that consistently. Even when I was still in the 170's, I liked the firmness that comes from regular walking. I decided to focus my energy there for now. I had 3 walks this week. Sunday afternoon, Tuesday afternoon and this morning. That will be my heath goal for now.
The bad for me? You've heard, "you had me at hello?" Rene Zellwegger said it in Jerry McGuire and Kenny Chesney had a song by that titile. And that fact alone is weird to me since they were married for like 8 months or something.
ANY-way!!! For me it started at the food bank yesterday afternoon when the sweet little woman said, "would you like to take a cake?" When I said yes, I knew I would eat much processed sugar and refined white flour before the day was done. Thankfully it was only a quarter of a sheet cake and I gave the kids hefty slices after dinner. Then I proceeded to eat what was left. Honestly I picked at it because it was a lot of gross frosting and dry cake.
But I knew when I agreed to a cake what my response would be at home. I made the choice then and there. Next time I really need to say no to cake!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Yesterday I alluded to what is going on with me here. I was a little more specific in on this blog.
My dear cyber friend left this comment for me yesterday.
"I haven't read it but it does reflect some of what Michael Pollan wrote about in his book. It did occur to me yesterday after seeing the commercial for the Splenda with added fiber that we are now fortifying our chemicals with other chemicals! Like chemicals squared! I think the closer to nature that we eat the better. "
The idea of splenda with fiber is just inherently wrong. Chemically altered chemicals....
It's such a struggle for me right now as I read because I don't believe natural food to be bad for us, but WW tells me that I should be eating low fat and artificially sweetened foods. Foods that don't occur naturally.
Needless to say, I'm not tracking any more. I'm just conflicted. I'm trying to get some things done this morning so I can read a little more.
My dear cyber friend left this comment for me yesterday.
"I haven't read it but it does reflect some of what Michael Pollan wrote about in his book. It did occur to me yesterday after seeing the commercial for the Splenda with added fiber that we are now fortifying our chemicals with other chemicals! Like chemicals squared! I think the closer to nature that we eat the better. "
The idea of splenda with fiber is just inherently wrong. Chemically altered chemicals....
It's such a struggle for me right now as I read because I don't believe natural food to be bad for us, but WW tells me that I should be eating low fat and artificially sweetened foods. Foods that don't occur naturally.
Needless to say, I'm not tracking any more. I'm just conflicted. I'm trying to get some things done this morning so I can read a little more.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
ignorance is bliss
Do you ever feel that way? But what about when you realize that you need to know the rest of the story to become more complete.
I think I am about to have a huge shift in all that I think about food. Or maybe give some confirmation to what I already know I believe.
Either way, it's freaking me out a little. A lot.
I think I am about to have a huge shift in all that I think about food. Or maybe give some confirmation to what I already know I believe.
Either way, it's freaking me out a little. A lot.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
it's 3:30
and I still haven't gotten any activity in. Unless you count grocery shopping with an energetic 3 year old. Or repacking all the Christmas stuff in our house.
But I have to take Trey to his guitar lesson soon. His lesson is in a nice neighborhood and lasts for 30 minutes. So I am off to change into my walking pants which also happen to be magic pants. No sweats for me. Nope those skin tight workout kind of pants that show every little bump. I had them on Saturday morning (after my WW weigh in) and was changing before I ran to a women's church brunch meeting thing. Hubby said, "why'd you change? you looked really cute." He has to say that. He's gotten me pregnant way too many times to not feel a little responsible for the lack of muscle tone in my belly! :o)
I have totally SUCKED at tracking this week. Like I haven't tracked in about 48 hours. I will start again tomorrow. I have done better with water which was another of my goals for this week.
Gotta change!
But I have to take Trey to his guitar lesson soon. His lesson is in a nice neighborhood and lasts for 30 minutes. So I am off to change into my walking pants which also happen to be magic pants. No sweats for me. Nope those skin tight workout kind of pants that show every little bump. I had them on Saturday morning (after my WW weigh in) and was changing before I ran to a women's church brunch meeting thing. Hubby said, "why'd you change? you looked really cute." He has to say that. He's gotten me pregnant way too many times to not feel a little responsible for the lack of muscle tone in my belly! :o)
I have totally SUCKED at tracking this week. Like I haven't tracked in about 48 hours. I will start again tomorrow. I have done better with water which was another of my goals for this week.
Gotta change!
Monday, January 12, 2009
magic pants
We all know what fat pants are, or fat jeans at least. Those are the ones we wear when we feel big and bloated or just blah.
Yesterday I wore my magic pants. I was feeling big. Feeling bad about my body. But I had to get dressed for church. And now we're at our new church so there's no more jeans and a sweater for church clothes.
So I put on my black pants. For years I wore black pants to church a few times a month. I LOVED those pants. I could wear them in winter with heels and a sweater. I could wear them in summer with a light top and heeled sandals. They always were a great option. But they are a size 16. Last winter I broke down and got a new pair of black pants. These are a size 10. I always feel a little self conscious in these pants. They aren't cut as fully as my old pants. They are much slimmer. They aren't as forgiving of all my body flaws.
But I put them on yesterday with an old sweater (that's a size large and felt so big and roomy!) and looked in the mirror. I saw a thin body. Sure I still have a round butt, but honestly, that will never go away I don't think. I will always have an ample behind. But I saw slim thighs. OK, slimmer thighs. I saw my body how it is instead of the way it was.
It was magic. Instead of feeling bad about my body, I felt good. It's been really hard for me the past week to look at myself and see a slim person. I have just felt BIG. But dressing for church changed that for me yesterday.
I even got out and went for a walk yesterday afternoon. It's been over a year since I was getting regular exercise like that. Bt when I get back into the habit I know I will feel strong again. I will like the shape this body takes. Of course today it's snowing and we're supposed to get like 6 inches. And then another few inches tomorrow. So I won't be walking, but I will do something. I'll let you know!
Yesterday I wore my magic pants. I was feeling big. Feeling bad about my body. But I had to get dressed for church. And now we're at our new church so there's no more jeans and a sweater for church clothes.
So I put on my black pants. For years I wore black pants to church a few times a month. I LOVED those pants. I could wear them in winter with heels and a sweater. I could wear them in summer with a light top and heeled sandals. They always were a great option. But they are a size 16. Last winter I broke down and got a new pair of black pants. These are a size 10. I always feel a little self conscious in these pants. They aren't cut as fully as my old pants. They are much slimmer. They aren't as forgiving of all my body flaws.
But I put them on yesterday with an old sweater (that's a size large and felt so big and roomy!) and looked in the mirror. I saw a thin body. Sure I still have a round butt, but honestly, that will never go away I don't think. I will always have an ample behind. But I saw slim thighs. OK, slimmer thighs. I saw my body how it is instead of the way it was.
It was magic. Instead of feeling bad about my body, I felt good. It's been really hard for me the past week to look at myself and see a slim person. I have just felt BIG. But dressing for church changed that for me yesterday.
I even got out and went for a walk yesterday afternoon. It's been over a year since I was getting regular exercise like that. Bt when I get back into the habit I know I will feel strong again. I will like the shape this body takes. Of course today it's snowing and we're supposed to get like 6 inches. And then another few inches tomorrow. So I won't be walking, but I will do something. I'll let you know!
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