Tuesday, August 28, 2007

new day

Today was a much better day-FINALLY! My goals for this week were to drink all my water and think before I eat something.

I did get all my water in yesterday, but I was eating more than I should have. Like last night, the kids had sloppy joes and oven fries and fruit for dinner. I totally picked at their fries. Just shouldn't have done that. Today has been a really good day. I am proud of the choices I have made for the first time in a couple of weeks. I did start my day with oatmeal which is a rarity for me. I think that may have had somehting to do with my successful on plan day. I'm going to try the oatmeal again tomorrow to see how it goes.

I really do feel good about the food I ate today. But I really don't feel good about those pounds that I think have taken up residence on my belly and booty. I was hoping it was just vacation weght, but I am thinking I am going to have to really work to get it off. Oh, well. At least I know how to do the WW thing and get back to losing it. I haven't been walking lately either. It's been just that one more thing that I can't seem to add into my life again. I do miss that solitude. The kids have a late start tomorrow so I'm thinking I may get up and go for a walk since I don't have quite the same schedule to keep. I've actually been thinking of doing that whole CP25K thing!!! **GASP**

There are days when I really wish I had a treadmill. But then, where would I put it?!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

"as long as it takes..."

That was the theme of my meeting yesterday (and probably for all of you last week, too!).

It's very timely for me. I started my 40th week of WW yesterday. I really thought that I would have been at my lifetime and personal goal 40 weeks into this program. But I'm not. And I'm trying to decide if I'm OK with that or if I want to revamp my goals. I set my WW goal solely on their little chart in the book about BMI. And my personal goal comes from high school. I weighed 143-148 in high school, except for the few weeks after I had mono when I bought my one and only pair of size 9 jeans! LOL

But I feel pretty comfortable hovering around 160 so maybe that needs to be my goal?

Right now I have my mini goal of getting back to 158. That was where I was before vacation. I came back at 165...and I'm still here.

In all honesty, Friday morning my bathroom scale said 161.4...but then Firday night I ordered pizza for the kids and me to celebrate the first week of school. I ate sooo much more than I should have. Honestly it started earlier in the day with about 5 cookies. That didn't leave me many points for dinner, but so be it. It really was my plan to have a Lean Cuisine or Smart Ones for dinner. But then I opened that box and saw the pepperoni and sausage pizza that I ordered for the boys and it was all over. I had 2 slices of that and 2 slices of cheese and some cinna-bread. I honestly made myself sick. I was sooooo full that I hurt. At that point I knew my WI Saturday morning would suck. And all I could think about was how much fun Friday night pizza night could be (if I didn't go so crazy) and how I really should change my day for WI!

So I had a week with no loss after having a big gain. So be it. I knew it would happen after all that pizza. And I really am not doing well with my water. I need to just guzzle it a couple times a day and get it in. But I digress...

At our meeting yesterday, my leader was talking about the big goals that we have...to get rid of the fat...but also about the little goals we need to have. Lately my big goal and little goal have been the same...to get to my goal weight. And I'm not sure I can reach that right now. So my little goal for the weeks to come is to lose these 7 pounds. It is vacation weight and pizza pig out weight and TOM weight so I'm hoping it goes away quickly. But that is the only goal I have in sight right now...7 pounds.

Then I will decide if I really want to lose those next 10 pounds or if I can be comfortable with them. I know that I have accomplished a lot by losing what I have already. I am really proud of that. And I feel like I am at a place where I can maintain and not gain it all back. I have learned so much about myself and my eating habits with WW. And I know this is an eating plan that I will need to stick to for the rest of my life. It is too easy for me to go back to my old ways...and gain weight. So I am committed to getting to 158 again...as long as it takes!

@ lainb-

My leader wasn't solely referring to weight loss goals. Like someone said her goal was to track every day. Someone else was aiming for the 8 healthy guidelines most days.

Getting enough water...limiting alcohol...working in more movement...those are all goals that would lead to weight loss but aren't necessarily scale related. I do like these kinds of goals more because they are something we can control. It's not always possible to control what the scale says...but I can control what I do to help it move.

So, after re-thinking this my goals for this week are to get my water in each day and to really consider what I put in my mouth BEFORE I eat it. This week has been crazy and I haven't always made the healthiest choices...or stopped eating when I was really satisfied. So I want to get that back into check.

Thanks for making me think harder!!!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

back on the wagon

I've done OK being on plan this week, but I've been really busy getting all the kids settled in at school. Still working on that, in fact. Who knew that Office Max would actually sell out of graph papaer? And who would guess that Target would sell out of BINDERS?!

I've been just running around and trying to make good choices. I'm not doing as well with water as I should be. Hard to get back to the water when I am just craving a fizzy diet coke...

And it's my TOM...guess crying over laundry and a full dishwasher last night should have been a clue. But I needed to wait for the confirmation this morning. So it's no wonder the scale is just hanging on around 162...At least I've lost a little of that vacation weight!

Just wanted to check in quickly...haven't had much energy for reading up on all my blog friends. Hope to check in with you all later tonight!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

how many points do you think are in a deep fried oreo?

Yes, I actually ate one of those. And it was really, really good! Thankfully, D and I shared them with the kids so I had one and he had 2 and the kids are the rest. But they were really tasty.

We went to the fair on Thursday before heading home on Friday. This is the fair famous for everything being deep fried or on a stick. The hot new food last year was the meatballs on a stick...I think they were deep fried meatballs, too.

We did eat OK for the first part of the day. D bought some cheese curds that we all shared with some pretzels. Then we had apples and clementines. The Egg Board was giving away hard boiled eggs on a stick. Then it was like 2 and we were all STARVING. I just gave up and ate a corn dog. It was sooooo good.

Then we wandered around some more. We wound up getting more hot dogs for dinner for the kiddos...I think the big boys had foot long corn dogs and D got me a shredded pork sandwich. Some more fruit and crackers...and we finished the day (at 9:30 or so) with the deep fried oreos.

I honestly don't think that day at the fair and the crappy eating there was as bad as the drive home. We got donuts for the kids in the morning...mama had 2. For a morning snac, the kids shared some chips and I ate most of a big bag of Smartfood. Love that cheesy popcorn! Lunch was OK...except for the 3 cookies. Then afternoon snack was another donut and some All Bran bites. After we unloaded the car last night. I made bacon and eggs for everyone for a late dinner. I had a piece of bacon and some scrambled eggs. Oh, and yesterday, I drank NO water until after the kids were all in bed. It was all about the diet coke.

So today I went to WI and was up 6.2. REALLY?! Gosh, how did that happen?!?!?!?!

But I have jumped back on the wagon. It's hard in some ways. I just want to eat crappy. Then there is the desire to do the emotional eating thing. But I don't want to go there. It was really good to go to my meeting this morning (well, actually a much later meeting! :P ) and just get back on track. So here it goes...

I'll keep you posted. The kids all start back to school this week and I will have my babies I nanny for at my house a couple days this week and next, too. I am really looking forward to getting back into the routine of life...on all fronts. I need to reclaim this life and not just float along for the ride. Does that make sense to anyone else?

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


still on vacation but I feel like I need to do some confessing. There have been some days of eating really well with much constraint. Really not difficult to do. I've had fresh Iowa sweet corn and garden fresh tomatoes to choose from. I have had the world's greatest cottage cheese (not as good low fat as regular, but still good) and yummy nonfat yogurts...then there was the bag of chips and dip. And the soft serve from the Tastee Freeze. And the fish, freshly caught (by my kids) and freshly deep fried (by my dad). And the 14 ounce filet mignon...which I DID share with one of the kids and my husband. But today we went to Culvers...if you are from the midwest you know that means NOTHING low fat or low in calories there. I caved in and had a tenderloin...yummy deep fried pork goodness...and deep fried cheese curds. OH....MY.....GOODNESS!!!

I was soooooooo completely sick after that. Seriously. And seriously needed a ton of water. Tomorrow we are going to the fair. The fair that is famous for everything fried and on a stick. Not looking forward to indulging in that again. It will honestly be interesting in what I DO find to eat. Because I am honestly feeling a little crappy tonight.

But according to my mom's WW scale, I haven't really gained more than a couple of pounds! We'll see about that. We will head home Friday and I really plan to go to my regular meeting on Saturday morning. It's a little sick, but I have never missed a weigh in for the week. Saturday will be my last chance this week. And I KNOW my weight will be up. But then I can lose all the retained water and whatnot by the next Saturday and be back on track. That will happen, right?!

I just wanted to check in with you all while I had a second on my mom's computer. I have really missed my daily accountability with you all. I have not walked like I thought I would because it is so crazy hot and humid here. But I totally need the mental break that you all give me. I'll be back sometime this weekend...hopefully not 10 pounds heavier...it is soooo not worth THAT much weight!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

midweek check in

I'm not sure if I'll get another chance to post before we leave on Friday morning. It's just crazy around here trying to get ready to go.

I went to WI this morning. I was up .4 from Saturday. I was a little surprised, but I really went just to fulfill my WI for the week. I will most likely come back a week from Friday then go to WI the next day. So that one will probably be up, too. But then I will be back on track to lose my last few pounds before maintenance.

Thanks for your comments lately. Especially you Becky...you SOOOO made me laugh. I will remember the free points from 12-3! It is really rare that I am up at that point, but if I am...I won't sweat those points! LOL And I tend to call my 2 or 3 youngest my "littles"...I have my oldest, the big boys, the little girls and the baby at my house.

This week has been a major NSV for me. I am stressed beyond belief. There is the back to school stuff to be done since we get back 2 days before the kids start back to school. Then there is the packing for the trip. Since I was so sick 2 weeks ago and not a whole lot better last week, my laundry has been out of control. I am desperately trying to catch up. Then there is the money stress. There is never enough in the month of August I swear! And the stress of my hubby's underemployment. That has been the situation for a while, but I am really ready to move from this point. He is seeking out so many leads the past couple of weeks only to have them lead nowhere.

**big sigh**

The good news is that I have NOT turned to that pint of Ben and Jerry's for comfort. I have just continued to plug away at what needs to be done. We did get most of our school supplies yesterday. The new outfit for the first day of school will have to wait for the weekend after we are back.

So now I am off to finish my laundry so we can start the process of packing clothes this morning. I also have to do a couple of batches of pickled beets today. Hopefully that will go quickly and not be a source of MORE stress.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

yesterday or today?

question...does the skinny cow I ate at 12:45 this morning go on my food log for yesterday or for today? I can't believe I was up that late. It was a yarn thing...I had a tangled skein so I stayed up, obsessed, until I had a nice and neat ball. It only took me about 4 hours.

Then I rewarded myself with ice cream...

ugh...back to my laundry...and getting the kiddos ready for school...and getting ready to go see family in Iowa this weekend...maybe a little more ice cream?! LOL

You all will be glad to know that I have been trying to limit myself to one extra child over at a time. No more days or having 9 or 10 kids here. Just a reasonable 6 or 7! :D

Saturday, August 4, 2007

weigh in and another loss

I have finally lost all the weight from that big gain a couple of weeks ago. I actually lost 3.2 this week. It was one of those weeks when I didn't really feel like I "deserved" to lose, if you know what I mean. I didn't really make poor choices, but I ate all my daily points each day. And I only have like 4 flex points left.

But I did track everything. Like Aleena and her friend T made a cake this week...I ate a few bites here and there...and a whole piece one night. I just tracked it all. Last Saturday night I ordered pizza for me and the kiddos. D was working and I had been making pickles all day. I CHOWED down 3 pieces of the stuff. I was STARVING and I just ate and ate. I also ate some of their cinna-bread stuff that I had ordered with the pizza. But I tracked it all. So maybe that is really the key.

I have those things written down so I feel accountable for them, but I also have to compensate my week for them? I'm really not sure.

So now that I am down into the 150's again, I need to lose point 24 from my day. I am a little nervous about that! I honestlly don't know how those of you who only eat 21 or 22 points a day do it. I really feel best on about 28 a day. So I will see how it goes dropping down to 23 dailies. And I haven't really had any extra exercise for 2 weeks now. I have been soooooo sick. I have actually taken a nap most every day for the past 2 weeks. And if you know me, you know that unless I am pregnant I tend to go all day long barely sitting down, let alone lying down! And no, I'm really sure I'm not preggers, I've just been really sick.

That is the other thing that was surprising about my loss this week. We tend to think that we have to exercise to lose weight. I think I need to exercise to keep from losing my mind and my patience with my kids, not to have a good loss. Good thing...becuase I just soooo do not need another thing to feel guilty that I am not getting done on a daily basis.

I literally have a laundry pile that is now taller than all my children. So I know what I am doing this weekend. We are getting ready to go out of town for a week or so, and I really need to conquer that pile. Plus there is all the back to school stuff that needs to be dealt with. It really is stressing me out. Last night I wanted to drown my stress in a pint of ice cream. Instead I talked to my hubby about it. Who knew that could be more satisfying and helpful?!?! I was AGHAST I tell you!

Happy weekend to you all!