It's been unbagged and is waiting in the big bowl for trick or treaters. I even got things I like this year. But just now I wanted a snack. I stopped in front of the big bowl. And chose a banana instead. Yay for me.
Not like there won't be buckets of candy around for days and days! lol
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
checking in
It's been almost a month since I was here, huh? Wow! How have I been? Well, not really OP, but not really off either.
I read an article in Clean Eating magazine about intuitive eating that really resonated with me. The author talked about eating local food, prepared at home and not eating much processed food. The author found that she naturally lost weight this way and never felt deprived.
That makes so much sense to me because I have 4 fairly thin children, 1 average child and 1 heavy child. They all eat as the author of the article described. Yes, the four oldest eat lunch at school so I have no control over that, but I do know that Emma will choose salads over other foods. They all will take the veggie cup and dip them in ranch just to fill up on more whole foods. So if it's working for my kids, why not me too?
I'm not in this to lose a bunch of weight anymore. I have battled most of my eating demons. Even the ones I haven't conquered, I can at least identify from a far distance now. So why can't I just trust myself to eat intuitively? So I have begun to trust myself again. I am counting points or keeping track of CORE foods. I am just eating the food in my kitchen. Honestly, it is mostly fruits and vegetables and lean meats and whole grains. But we did actually order out pizza the other night, and I had 4 pieces. I have made dessert twice in the past couple of weeks to go with dinner. (Honestly, the good part of having a big family is that I made a pie last night, and we all had A slice and now it's gone!)
And what does the scale say about all of this? When I decided to jump back on the WW wagon last month I was shocked to see 163.6 on the scale. I had spent most of the summer around 159-161. This morning? Back to 159.2. Although it's not a huge loss for the month, I have lost the couple of pounds I gained at the end of the summer. And I would like to lose a few more. But we'll see. Right now, I am happy where I am. And honestly as I read some blogs about fastidious exercise regimes and strict eating plans, I think I really am not motivated to lose anymore. Some of you may think that I am copping out. Yeah, maybe so. But I know there are some of you out there who know that just getting through the days and weeks and dealing with all that life entails without gaining any weight either is an accomplishment.
I read an article in Clean Eating magazine about intuitive eating that really resonated with me. The author talked about eating local food, prepared at home and not eating much processed food. The author found that she naturally lost weight this way and never felt deprived.
That makes so much sense to me because I have 4 fairly thin children, 1 average child and 1 heavy child. They all eat as the author of the article described. Yes, the four oldest eat lunch at school so I have no control over that, but I do know that Emma will choose salads over other foods. They all will take the veggie cup and dip them in ranch just to fill up on more whole foods. So if it's working for my kids, why not me too?
I'm not in this to lose a bunch of weight anymore. I have battled most of my eating demons. Even the ones I haven't conquered, I can at least identify from a far distance now. So why can't I just trust myself to eat intuitively? So I have begun to trust myself again. I am counting points or keeping track of CORE foods. I am just eating the food in my kitchen. Honestly, it is mostly fruits and vegetables and lean meats and whole grains. But we did actually order out pizza the other night, and I had 4 pieces. I have made dessert twice in the past couple of weeks to go with dinner. (Honestly, the good part of having a big family is that I made a pie last night, and we all had A slice and now it's gone!)
And what does the scale say about all of this? When I decided to jump back on the WW wagon last month I was shocked to see 163.6 on the scale. I had spent most of the summer around 159-161. This morning? Back to 159.2. Although it's not a huge loss for the month, I have lost the couple of pounds I gained at the end of the summer. And I would like to lose a few more. But we'll see. Right now, I am happy where I am. And honestly as I read some blogs about fastidious exercise regimes and strict eating plans, I think I really am not motivated to lose anymore. Some of you may think that I am copping out. Yeah, maybe so. But I know there are some of you out there who know that just getting through the days and weeks and dealing with all that life entails without gaining any weight either is an accomplishment.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
hiatus
I'm not sure what happened yesterday, but I was back to my old ways. TOM is on it's way so maybe that's my excuse?
Anyway I am back on track today.
Too tired to really blog any more. How sad is that?
Anyway I am back on track today.
Too tired to really blog any more. How sad is that?
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
still working it
Last night started to get away from a little. I just needed CARBS after I had dinner last night. So I had a piece of the banana bread I had made earlier in the day. It did the trick. Then I filled up on watermelon later so I went to bed feeling quite satisfied. I have been using those WPA's a lot in the past couple of days. Not always intentionally either. I didn't realize that my deli ham was not a CORE food until I had 2 slices of it. Then I went to a meeting for a school committee in the afternoon and there were cookies that everyone was raving about. I had half of one. It was OK. And I had to sample that banana bread earlier in the day since it was a new recipe.
But all in all, it was a good CORE day. I am not obsessing over food like I had been in the past. I am feeling much more in control of eating and all that. And the scale has gone down a little (well, 2 pounds is more than a little, huh?). This is when I would normally feel like it's OK and I can go back to just eating whatever. But I am committing to tracking this whole week. I would really like to get well below my WW goal again so I have a cushion to go to weigh in. I really do miss going to meetings, but I don't want to pay for them, so I don't want to go when I am over my weight limit. How ridiculous is that? I guess that's part of my vicious cycle, too. And a fatal flaw of the WW company.
Anyway. Here's to another day of tracking and being in control. And not eating mindlessly.
But all in all, it was a good CORE day. I am not obsessing over food like I had been in the past. I am feeling much more in control of eating and all that. And the scale has gone down a little (well, 2 pounds is more than a little, huh?). This is when I would normally feel like it's OK and I can go back to just eating whatever. But I am committing to tracking this whole week. I would really like to get well below my WW goal again so I have a cushion to go to weigh in. I really do miss going to meetings, but I don't want to pay for them, so I don't want to go when I am over my weight limit. How ridiculous is that? I guess that's part of my vicious cycle, too. And a fatal flaw of the WW company.
Anyway. Here's to another day of tracking and being in control. And not eating mindlessly.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
day 2
yesterday was a good day. I did have some cravings for chocolate, but I just waited for it to pass. Funny how that is, isn't it? I have impulsively indulged a craving and then felt guilty. Now I am realizing that often times those cravings will pass. The snickers only looks amazing while I am looking at it. If I don't buy one and go home and put the groceries away, I totally forget all about it. The other day at the store I almost bought a ton of ice cream "for the kids". But I didn't because I knew it would tempt me. Later I really wanted that ice cream, but it wasn't here so I had to do without. And I lived til morning if you can believe it!
Sorry about that tangent! :o)
I decided to go with CORE. I like that I can't justify a few bad choices that lead to a binge. For me, it's baking. I have baked a LOT this summer. It's been so easy to eat more than I should because it's healthier foods...fresh flour, veggies in the bread or muffins, natural sweeteners. But half a loaf of zucchini bread is NEVER OK. And I realized that I was eating my baked stuff instead of fruits and veggies for snacks. Like yesterday when I had to remind myself to eat lunch. It would have been easy to eat a piece or two of zucchini bread, but instead I had a salad with cucumbers and peppers and tomatoes and a little turkey and some FF salad dressing. I really liked that salad. And it didn't lead to overeating later.
More rambling. Suffice it to say that I am back on day 2 of eating CORE and tracking it all.
How is your day?
Sorry about that tangent! :o)
I decided to go with CORE. I like that I can't justify a few bad choices that lead to a binge. For me, it's baking. I have baked a LOT this summer. It's been so easy to eat more than I should because it's healthier foods...fresh flour, veggies in the bread or muffins, natural sweeteners. But half a loaf of zucchini bread is NEVER OK. And I realized that I was eating my baked stuff instead of fruits and veggies for snacks. Like yesterday when I had to remind myself to eat lunch. It would have been easy to eat a piece or two of zucchini bread, but instead I had a salad with cucumbers and peppers and tomatoes and a little turkey and some FF salad dressing. I really liked that salad. And it didn't lead to overeating later.
More rambling. Suffice it to say that I am back on day 2 of eating CORE and tracking it all.
How is your day?
Monday, August 25, 2008
back on track one more time
Summer is just about over and I have gained about 5 pounds. Maybe 4. My weight is fluctuating between 160 and 161.?. I want to get back down to my WW lifetime range of 153-157 so here I go again back to losing mode. I am starting tracking today and I'm really not sure what plan I want to be on, CORE or FLEX. I want my carbs, but I also want to be able to eat when I am hungry even if I have eaten all my daily points. So for now, I am trying to make good choices and track. My goal for the week is just to TRACK!!!
I've had a piece of toast and an egg so far this morning. It was going to be 2 eggs, but Kelli begged one of them off from me. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
I'm tracking today, remember?
I've had a piece of toast and an egg so far this morning. It was going to be 2 eggs, but Kelli begged one of them off from me. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
I'm tracking today, remember?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
icky numbers
Before I complain about what the scale said yesterday morning, let me clarify that I know I have earned it. And let me also remember that there were many YEARS I would have LOVED to have seen this number. And I know I have some blog friends who would also be thrilled to see this number.
163.8
Not a number I am comfortable with at all anymore. Yesterday I did much better with keeping stuff out of my mouth. I am just not tracking....eating whatever I want...and wondering why I feel lousy half the time!
So here I am again, back to trying to do better. I did have that magic loss of over a pound today which makes me think that part of my scale trouble was water weight or whatever. But I know that I feel like a fat girl when I eat like a fat girl. I hate that.
163.8
Not a number I am comfortable with at all anymore. Yesterday I did much better with keeping stuff out of my mouth. I am just not tracking....eating whatever I want...and wondering why I feel lousy half the time!
So here I am again, back to trying to do better. I did have that magic loss of over a pound today which makes me think that part of my scale trouble was water weight or whatever. But I know that I feel like a fat girl when I eat like a fat girl. I hate that.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
not sure
what plan I am on right now, but it's working. I am really trying to just eat less. Quit the mindless munching. I think WW calls it "think first".
Anyway, it's working. I am back down to a comfortable place again. I thought about calling it done. After all I feel more like me, right? Instead I am going to stick with this plan and really try to lose for the next few weeks. Maybe I can see my personal goal of 152 again.
On another note, I used to run into a wanna be loser in blogland quite a bit last winter. She then decided to write her own blog and really commit to Weight Watchers. I'm not sure what happened, but she quickly disappeared. Today she has posted again here asking for encouragement and help. Go visit her and share your journey with her, will ya please?
I think we all have a unique bond. We know what it's like to hate our bodies, to feel trapped by our flab. But some of us...like me, have come so much closer to having bodies that make us feel good. Even though I am up and down lately, I am still really proud of what I have accomplished. I have been THIN for the last year. I get hit on by the sushi boys at my local grocery store every time I am there. LOVE THAT!
anyway...go visit a friend and tell her she's not alone
Anyway, it's working. I am back down to a comfortable place again. I thought about calling it done. After all I feel more like me, right? Instead I am going to stick with this plan and really try to lose for the next few weeks. Maybe I can see my personal goal of 152 again.
On another note, I used to run into a wanna be loser in blogland quite a bit last winter. She then decided to write her own blog and really commit to Weight Watchers. I'm not sure what happened, but she quickly disappeared. Today she has posted again here asking for encouragement and help. Go visit her and share your journey with her, will ya please?
I think we all have a unique bond. We know what it's like to hate our bodies, to feel trapped by our flab. But some of us...like me, have come so much closer to having bodies that make us feel good. Even though I am up and down lately, I am still really proud of what I have accomplished. I have been THIN for the last year. I get hit on by the sushi boys at my local grocery store every time I am there. LOVE THAT!
anyway...go visit a friend and tell her she's not alone
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
wish I could say
that I had a great 24 point day with loads of water and fruits and veggies, but I can't.
I can say that I had a day of fruits and veggies. OK with water consumption. But after work I was home and STARVING. I had planned to have some pretzel rods then and save the bulk of my points for chicken and noodles at dinner. But I didn't want pretzels, I needed protein.
I decided that I would be a CORE girl. Maybe my weekends are flex days, but I really liked what I could do on CORE. I had some fat free cottage cheese. Then I had some leftover chicken breast. I felt much better. Satisfied.
Dinner rolled around and I wasn't really hungry. I had some leftover green beans with tomatoes and a few bites of the chicken and noodles (which was CORE btw) and was done. My problem for the day lies with Aleena. She's 12 and loves to bake and experiment in the kitchen like her mama. While I was at Clay's drum lesson she baked brownies in 2 nine inch cake pans. Then she made a peanut butter/cream cheese filling to layer in between those brownies.
I never had one, but I did grab some little nibbles from Jack's plate. They were good, too. I was up till after 10 and hungry again. But I went to bed with a little gnawing inside, and I lived through the night just fine.
Now I'm off to make some eggs.
I can say that I had a day of fruits and veggies. OK with water consumption. But after work I was home and STARVING. I had planned to have some pretzel rods then and save the bulk of my points for chicken and noodles at dinner. But I didn't want pretzels, I needed protein.
I decided that I would be a CORE girl. Maybe my weekends are flex days, but I really liked what I could do on CORE. I had some fat free cottage cheese. Then I had some leftover chicken breast. I felt much better. Satisfied.
Dinner rolled around and I wasn't really hungry. I had some leftover green beans with tomatoes and a few bites of the chicken and noodles (which was CORE btw) and was done. My problem for the day lies with Aleena. She's 12 and loves to bake and experiment in the kitchen like her mama. While I was at Clay's drum lesson she baked brownies in 2 nine inch cake pans. Then she made a peanut butter/cream cheese filling to layer in between those brownies.
I never had one, but I did grab some little nibbles from Jack's plate. They were good, too. I was up till after 10 and hungry again. But I went to bed with a little gnawing inside, and I lived through the night just fine.
Now I'm off to make some eggs.
Monday, July 28, 2008
so I'm back
I'm not sure if it's because of all the baking I've been doing or just not tracking and really eating more than I think or what, but I am up a few MORE pounds. Right around 160 now. Yesterday I got dressed and just didn't like the way I looked in my clothes. I know that I have posted that I still struggle with feeling like my inner fat girl, but this was different. I really felt like I could see all 5 pounds. So I took out my tracker and started back in.
It's funny how I would normally think, my WW week starts on Sarurdays. I have to back track...or just wait till next Saturday. Instead I decided to just start right now where I am.
And how did it go? Not well, my friends. At church in the morning, our neighbors invited us to come over for BBQ later. They served brats and hot dogs, a veggie salad and potato salad. I did OK, but then was dessert.
Another neighbor brought up a triple berry cheesecake. And I brought a cherry cobbler...and ice cream.
Without dessert, my day would have just been a little over. With dessert, even small portions...way over.
I felt gross last night too. Drank a bunch of water and called it a day.
I have a plan for today. I have written in my tracker what I plan to eat and I need to stick to it. I'll keep you posted!
It's funny how I would normally think, my WW week starts on Sarurdays. I have to back track...or just wait till next Saturday. Instead I decided to just start right now where I am.
And how did it go? Not well, my friends. At church in the morning, our neighbors invited us to come over for BBQ later. They served brats and hot dogs, a veggie salad and potato salad. I did OK, but then was dessert.
Another neighbor brought up a triple berry cheesecake. And I brought a cherry cobbler...and ice cream.
Without dessert, my day would have just been a little over. With dessert, even small portions...way over.
I felt gross last night too. Drank a bunch of water and called it a day.
I have a plan for today. I have written in my tracker what I plan to eat and I need to stick to it. I'll keep you posted!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
need some feedback
feeling pretty iffy about the weight thing lately. just when I said I didn't need to do a weight loss blog anymore, huh? I realized that in so many ways I still see myself as a total fatty.
so I posted some pics on my mama blog here. tell me what you think!
so I posted some pics on my mama blog here. tell me what you think!
Friday, July 11, 2008
movin' on
I originally started this blog after I was spending all my time on my mama blog talking about meetings and points and what not. I decided then that since Weight Watchers was such a HUGE part of my life that I would have a blog specifically for that.
Now that WW is not my top priority and my time is even more limited, I am cutting back. I am thinking about abandoning this blog. I am still on a quest for my inner skinny girl. I still feel like a fat girl. I still would love to eat a pint of ice cream every night. But I am tired of talking about it and blogging about it and hoping you all still give a rip about my flabby belly.
So I am keeping up my mama blog. And I am starting to keep a blog for our family food and recipes. But I am no longer going to post my weekly weigh in or whether or not I went to a meeting. My size 10 shorts fit just fine today. That's all the really matters to me anyway.
So come visit me at one or the other of my new blogs...and update your google reader!
Now that WW is not my top priority and my time is even more limited, I am cutting back. I am thinking about abandoning this blog. I am still on a quest for my inner skinny girl. I still feel like a fat girl. I still would love to eat a pint of ice cream every night. But I am tired of talking about it and blogging about it and hoping you all still give a rip about my flabby belly.
So I am keeping up my mama blog. And I am starting to keep a blog for our family food and recipes. But I am no longer going to post my weekly weigh in or whether or not I went to a meeting. My size 10 shorts fit just fine today. That's all the really matters to me anyway.
So come visit me at one or the other of my new blogs...and update your google reader!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
I've been cheating on you
I admit it. It's not that life has been THAT busy, it's just that I am so addicted to my silly facebook that I use all my computer time there! It has been great to reconnect with friends from high school, college and different seasons of life. But it is very much just a little small talk amongst life in so many ways. There are few really close friends that I know I will get to share more of my life with, but there are many that I just used to know and never really were close to. They will most likely stay in that realm I am sure.
I had a hard time posting a pic of myself there. I wanted it to be just the right one, you know? I finally put a profile pic up and it's odd to hear the comments. "You look the same as college" "You are thinner now than you were 6 years ago when I saw you last"
They don't know the journey I have been on. The roller coaster of trying to learn to live as a thin girl. I was always the rounder girl of my friends. The big size 11 in the midst of the 5's and 7's. And now that I am a 10? It's been hard to get here, not just that I had some babies and got back to where I was before just more womanly or whatever.
In that respect I have missed you all so much. I get tired of talking about what I weigh, if I am losing or maintaining, what I am eating. But I really love having a place to come and be who I am. I am a fat girl trying to figure out how to live in this smaller body. I am still trying to see myself as I am and not as heavy as I used to be. I saw my reflection from a distance one day at Disneyland and thought "I wish I looked like her. She's leaner through the hips than I am and her thighs aren't so heavy." then I realized it was me I was wanting to look like.
I think I need therapy sometimes I tell ya!
So that's all for now. I will be back more often, I promise. I need this space to fully be the person I am trying to become. But right now I gotta go see if someone has written on my wall!
I had a hard time posting a pic of myself there. I wanted it to be just the right one, you know? I finally put a profile pic up and it's odd to hear the comments. "You look the same as college" "You are thinner now than you were 6 years ago when I saw you last"
They don't know the journey I have been on. The roller coaster of trying to learn to live as a thin girl. I was always the rounder girl of my friends. The big size 11 in the midst of the 5's and 7's. And now that I am a 10? It's been hard to get here, not just that I had some babies and got back to where I was before just more womanly or whatever.
In that respect I have missed you all so much. I get tired of talking about what I weigh, if I am losing or maintaining, what I am eating. But I really love having a place to come and be who I am. I am a fat girl trying to figure out how to live in this smaller body. I am still trying to see myself as I am and not as heavy as I used to be. I saw my reflection from a distance one day at Disneyland and thought "I wish I looked like her. She's leaner through the hips than I am and her thighs aren't so heavy." then I realized it was me I was wanting to look like.
I think I need therapy sometimes I tell ya!
So that's all for now. I will be back more often, I promise. I need this space to fully be the person I am trying to become. But right now I gotta go see if someone has written on my wall!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
I haven't fallen off the face of the earth
and I haven't fallen off the wagon either!
We got to go on vacation to see hubby's family in CA. And go to Disneyland and the beach, too. So between getting ready for vacation with packing and all that and then just RELAXING, I have totally neglected you all. I did try to check in a couple of times while I was out, but I still have a ton in my google reader to sort through.
I made it through vacation only gaining a couple of pounds. So that puts me just back around 158-159. So I get to lose those few pounds over again. At least it's just a couple of pounds, right? and it was great to go to the beach and the pool and not feel totally self conscious.
Off to work tomorrow and back to reality. And back to my WW plan!
We got to go on vacation to see hubby's family in CA. And go to Disneyland and the beach, too. So between getting ready for vacation with packing and all that and then just RELAXING, I have totally neglected you all. I did try to check in a couple of times while I was out, but I still have a ton in my google reader to sort through.
I made it through vacation only gaining a couple of pounds. So that puts me just back around 158-159. So I get to lose those few pounds over again. At least it's just a couple of pounds, right? and it was great to go to the beach and the pool and not feel totally self conscious.
Off to work tomorrow and back to reality. And back to my WW plan!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
were your ears burning?
This morning when I got up to make hubby's lunch and coffee, I switched on the radio to my my favorite morning show. They were discussing blogs and blogging and bloggers. More really about tell all blogs and when close friends are invited to read them. They asked for listeners to call in and tell about their blogging experiences.
So were your ears burning?! I called in to say what a great thing a blog can be in the life of someone losing weight. We can share our daily menus, how we dealt with a hard food situation, the shamefilled binge we had last night, and ask for advice or encouragement when we really need it. So even though you aren't my IRL friends, know that you are all apart of the success I have had in going from a size 18 chubby mama to a size 10 much happier mama!
I had a little epiphany yesterday, too. I was in a gas station getting a diet Coke (eat your heart out Becky! I saw a younger girl in there (she was in her early 20's I guess) that had on a little skirt and t-shirt. I could see that her skirt was tight and she had a total muffin top through her shirt. Kind of that roll-y look. I had on 2 layered tanks and little khaki capris (size M) and DIDN'T have a muffin top at all. Yes, I know I should be working out more and haven't been as diligent with food as I should be. But I realized that I was thinner than this younger girl. I don't usually find myself thinner than anyone other than the very obviously overweight and I felt good to realize that I am in the middle now. I'm not skinny. But I don't think someone would look at me and say I was overweight anymore. At least I hope not.
So were your ears burning?! I called in to say what a great thing a blog can be in the life of someone losing weight. We can share our daily menus, how we dealt with a hard food situation, the shamefilled binge we had last night, and ask for advice or encouragement when we really need it. So even though you aren't my IRL friends, know that you are all apart of the success I have had in going from a size 18 chubby mama to a size 10 much happier mama!
I had a little epiphany yesterday, too. I was in a gas station getting a diet Coke (eat your heart out Becky! I saw a younger girl in there (she was in her early 20's I guess) that had on a little skirt and t-shirt. I could see that her skirt was tight and she had a total muffin top through her shirt. Kind of that roll-y look. I had on 2 layered tanks and little khaki capris (size M) and DIDN'T have a muffin top at all. Yes, I know I should be working out more and haven't been as diligent with food as I should be. But I realized that I was thinner than this younger girl. I don't usually find myself thinner than anyone other than the very obviously overweight and I felt good to realize that I am in the middle now. I'm not skinny. But I don't think someone would look at me and say I was overweight anymore. At least I hope not.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
back in the club
It's really kind of silly, but I was SOOOOO relieved this morning to have a weigh in that was in my "weight watcher's lifetime goal range". I mean I have maintained within the same 5 pounds or so for most of the past 8 months, but being officially thin enough with WW really did make me feel good today.
I guess it's because after all that work and time and money paid to them, I could sit there and enjoy it all without paying them any more! So today, my official WW weigh in was 155.6, 3 pounds less than the last time I was there. YEAH!
Still not tracking but just doing what I know I should. And I weigh myself every morning. And I guess like my thin friends I know that if I have a lot one day, I should take it easy the next day. Astounding that one, isn't it? Not to just feed like there's not another meal in sight for days?!
My dad brought us my favorite amazing chip dip when he was here last week. I love the stuff. As a toddler I would eat it with a spoon. I can go crazy with the stuff. Three years ago he brought us a big supply. I was preggers with Jack E at the time and used that as an excuse to eat all I wanted. I gained 9 pounds that month. oops!
I have been having a little most days this week, but decided on Wednesday to save the rest for the weekend. So later today, I am having chips and dip! whoo-hoo!
I went for a morning walk yesterday. It was nice to get out and listen to music and be alone for a while. I need to do that more especially since...
I bought a new swimsuit on Thursday before I took the kids to the pool. I just ran into Target and tried on a few. The one I got was on the clearance rack for $13.74 which is why I ultimately got it I guess. It looks OK on me. I realized that I need more support on top than most of the little tankini's at Target are going to give me, but since we don't really have money for mama to get an awesome swimsuit, I'll deal with this one. It's got gathers in the tummy and it's white with big red roses and green leaves all over it. I guess it is pretty flattering in some ways. It's just that gravity and time and 6 pregnancies have taken their toll on this body, so how amazing will I look without some surgical intervention? Or actually working out a little? LOL
So I'm trying to get back into my walking thing. At least then my legs aren't as jiggly and my rear end has a little lift to it!
Then again, who is really checking out the 38 year old woman who walks into the pool with 6 kids in tow and lunches and drinks and snacks and floaties and enough beach towels for everyone to dry off and keep the car dry on the way home? Yeah, I'm a catch! LOL
I guess it's because after all that work and time and money paid to them, I could sit there and enjoy it all without paying them any more! So today, my official WW weigh in was 155.6, 3 pounds less than the last time I was there. YEAH!
Still not tracking but just doing what I know I should. And I weigh myself every morning. And I guess like my thin friends I know that if I have a lot one day, I should take it easy the next day. Astounding that one, isn't it? Not to just feed like there's not another meal in sight for days?!
My dad brought us my favorite amazing chip dip when he was here last week. I love the stuff. As a toddler I would eat it with a spoon. I can go crazy with the stuff. Three years ago he brought us a big supply. I was preggers with Jack E at the time and used that as an excuse to eat all I wanted. I gained 9 pounds that month. oops!
I have been having a little most days this week, but decided on Wednesday to save the rest for the weekend. So later today, I am having chips and dip! whoo-hoo!
I went for a morning walk yesterday. It was nice to get out and listen to music and be alone for a while. I need to do that more especially since...
I bought a new swimsuit on Thursday before I took the kids to the pool. I just ran into Target and tried on a few. The one I got was on the clearance rack for $13.74 which is why I ultimately got it I guess. It looks OK on me. I realized that I need more support on top than most of the little tankini's at Target are going to give me, but since we don't really have money for mama to get an awesome swimsuit, I'll deal with this one. It's got gathers in the tummy and it's white with big red roses and green leaves all over it. I guess it is pretty flattering in some ways. It's just that gravity and time and 6 pregnancies have taken their toll on this body, so how amazing will I look without some surgical intervention? Or actually working out a little? LOL
So I'm trying to get back into my walking thing. At least then my legs aren't as jiggly and my rear end has a little lift to it!
Then again, who is really checking out the 38 year old woman who walks into the pool with 6 kids in tow and lunches and drinks and snacks and floaties and enough beach towels for everyone to dry off and keep the car dry on the way home? Yeah, I'm a catch! LOL
Thursday, May 29, 2008
hanging in and keeping on
We have survived our week of ICK! I just found out last night that the little dog was adopted out by this organization. In fact her picture is the last one listed on the Happy Endings page. I was surprised how hard it was for me to let that dog go. And I was also surprised by how excited I was to know that she had found a new happy home.
Then last week was the last week of school. Preschool program one night, elementary band concert one night, oldest daughter home from middle school sick one day (but recovered in time for her last day of school at the local amusement park!), and oldest son had his Fifth Grade continuation ceremony. My dad and step-mom drove into town for that and stayed for the holiday weekend. And my little sister and her boyfriend came into town Saturday to stay the weekend too. It was good to just hang out with family and relax.
We are now in summer mode whatever that means. I'm trying to keep on top of the kids to help out more with daily chores since they are here and sitting around so much. And I'm trying to keep track of all the kids' whereabouts too. Who is riding bikes and who is with a friend and who is going somewhere later. All that. And Aleena has started babysitting. She has a 2 day/week thing going right now as a mother's helper/nanny. And she is also babysitting for my friend's kids next Tuesday night. Very exciting for her. A little nerve wracking for me. And another schedule to keep track of.
On the WW front, I am doing fine. I'm not tracking at all. I'm not counting points at all. I'm not following CORE like I was either. I realized that after the first couple of weeks I would grab a CORE food for a snack whether or not I was really hungry. So I was getting back to recreational eating. I have just been trying to do what I know I should.
And I am seeing a little bit of a loss anyway. I have gone from 157.4-160.4 for my daily weigh in range to 156.0-158.4 for my daily range. So that's feeling good. And like this really is my "lifestyle change" I have been looking for. Life has been crazy and I am going to officially weigh in on Saturday. And I won't have to pay them this time!!!
I need to get to my laundry this morning. And I have to find swim stuff for everybody since I've promised the kids a trip to our friends' neighborhood pool. I HAVE to get a new swimsuit this summer. Last summer I just dealt with wearing the old one. And it's a size 18...from the summer I was barely preggers with kid number 3. I started that pregnancy at nearly 200 pounds. That suit is quite roomy on me now THANK GOD!!! But the idea of buying a new suit is slightly terrifying! Any advice?
Then last week was the last week of school. Preschool program one night, elementary band concert one night, oldest daughter home from middle school sick one day (but recovered in time for her last day of school at the local amusement park!), and oldest son had his Fifth Grade continuation ceremony. My dad and step-mom drove into town for that and stayed for the holiday weekend. And my little sister and her boyfriend came into town Saturday to stay the weekend too. It was good to just hang out with family and relax.
We are now in summer mode whatever that means. I'm trying to keep on top of the kids to help out more with daily chores since they are here and sitting around so much. And I'm trying to keep track of all the kids' whereabouts too. Who is riding bikes and who is with a friend and who is going somewhere later. All that. And Aleena has started babysitting. She has a 2 day/week thing going right now as a mother's helper/nanny. And she is also babysitting for my friend's kids next Tuesday night. Very exciting for her. A little nerve wracking for me. And another schedule to keep track of.
On the WW front, I am doing fine. I'm not tracking at all. I'm not counting points at all. I'm not following CORE like I was either. I realized that after the first couple of weeks I would grab a CORE food for a snack whether or not I was really hungry. So I was getting back to recreational eating. I have just been trying to do what I know I should.
And I am seeing a little bit of a loss anyway. I have gone from 157.4-160.4 for my daily weigh in range to 156.0-158.4 for my daily range. So that's feeling good. And like this really is my "lifestyle change" I have been looking for. Life has been crazy and I am going to officially weigh in on Saturday. And I won't have to pay them this time!!!
I need to get to my laundry this morning. And I have to find swim stuff for everybody since I've promised the kids a trip to our friends' neighborhood pool. I HAVE to get a new swimsuit this summer. Last summer I just dealt with wearing the old one. And it's a size 18...from the summer I was barely preggers with kid number 3. I started that pregnancy at nearly 200 pounds. That suit is quite roomy on me now THANK GOD!!! But the idea of buying a new suit is slightly terrifying! Any advice?
Friday, May 16, 2008
this week is OVER!!!
and I am so glad. Becky just left a comment for me that she was worried and ready to call the police. I have had enough of the police for the week, thankyouverymuch!
Here's a recap of my week:
Monday-our Sheltie (the one that wakes me at 6 to go outside to bark at the bigger dog) nipped at Kelli. I know dogs nip and do things to protect themselves, but this was really aggressive. D put her out then and said she would NOT come back into our house.
Tuesday-I called around to find out the best thing to do with the dog. I decided to take her to the Denver Dumb Friend's League so she can hopefully be adopted by a childless home. It was an emotional day for me. Jack wet his underwear repeatedly...and even managed to get pee on 2 pairs of his shoes. Emma had been home sick and I was supposed to take her and the 2 littles into the dentist at 2 that afternoon. As we were walking out the front door, Jack E peed again. So by the time I get him changed and in the car, we were going to be late. The dentist has a policy that if you are 10 minutes late, they won't see you. It totally sucks when you are 13 minutes late for your appointment. It's really nice that I never have to wait there though. They did put in Emma's space maintainer so it wasn't a total loss. After we got home, I started getting myself together to take the dog in. I was planning on leaving the littles with Aleena while I was gone since I would have to paperwork, etc. When Aleena got home, she freaked out and told Clay and Emma that she was running away. She ran very predictably to her friend's house a few blocks away. After I left a message on friend's cell, the friend called back to say that Aleena was with her and safe. She came home after dinner. I left the kids with Trey (not the most vigilant child) while I dropped the dog off.
Wednesday-I thought Tuesday was a bad day. HAH!!!
I woke up just feeling lousy about the night before. As I was getting our stuff ready for work that morning, I realized I didn't really have stuff for us to take for lunch. I decided I would get us ready quickly and run into the grocery store. I made the REALLY REALLY stupid choice that it would be quicker if I left Jack E and Kelli in the car. I would just be a few minutes after all. I was having one of those moments when I am tired and have a headache and can't focus and take too long to make any decision whatsoever. When I finally walked back into the parking lot (at the most 20 minutes later), there was a police car behind my truck and a police officer looking around the car and in the windows. He was just acting curious not alarmed so I knew then that I was busted for leaving my kids unattended and that they were fine. When I opened the car door later, they were both sitting in their carseats just hanging out. The kind and concerned citizen parked next to me was giving her statement to another police officer while I talked to my police officer. When all was said and done, I was not charged with anything though it could have been a criminal offense. The police officer told me to expect contact from CPS regarding what else would happen.
We came home and started cleaning and picking up and fixing things that we had been putting off. You know, instead of our house looking like 6 kids and 2 working parents lived there, we made it look like we have a housekeeper and SAHM who is meticulously organized. My friend came over and helped me get the bathrooms all cleaned and sanitized. We had to tell the school age kids that they had to keep their rooms looking like this since CPS would be by to make sure our home was suitable. Some of them were freaked out, some of them thought that whole idea was laughable...that our home and family would be less than wonderful. Aleena reminded me that I needed to make dinner. Oh yeah. Thank goodness for spaghetti! I fell into bed at 7:30 with an awful headache and a feverish 2 year old.
I woke up at 9:30 when the phone rang and my dad left a message saying my grandfather had passed away.
Thursday-D stayed home from work. (He had called to check in with me while I was talking to the police on Wednesday and had been by my side ever since.) We kept tidying things and trying to prepare ourselves for a talk with CPS. We had talked to some friends who work with social services and they were pretty reassuring that it would all be OK. I finally called CPS and learned I wasn't even in their system yet.
I talked to my grandmother in the morning. This was her second husband. My first grandpa died when I was like 8 I think. Grandma had been married to Dale for over 29 years. He was 94 and had lived a full life. Grandma is sad, but we all knew it was time. I feel really bad that I didn't finish her Mother's Day gift in time for Grandpa to see it. The service is tomorrow and we aren't able to go, but I am thinking of them. Especially my little sister. This is the only grandfather she has ever known. Her other grandpa died before she was born.
Now it's Friday. The only drama of the day is that Aleena and her posse of friends decided to make this pajama day at school. She'd been warned before that it wasn't dress code. This time she was sent to the office. I do feel bad that it took me 90 minutes to make it 2 blocks away to the middle school with jeans. But I had to get elementary kids on the bus, shower and dress 2 sick littles to go out. And you KNOW I took them into the school office with me!!! I called CPS a little while ago and this time talked the woman who was there when the police called my situation in. She had trouble finding me in the system, but when she did, she told me that the police have handled it and CPS will not be contacting us. THANK GOD!!!
Mother's Day was good. It was a crazy busy weekend. I had a tummy bug on Sunday so I got to sit on the couch and crochet. I did get a new fridge too. That came on Saturday...and created a mini kitchen remodel (taking down cupboards and moving them) in the process. We have been busy with all the stuff that comes with the end of the school year too. Concerts and programs. Today is field day for my 3 and 5 graders. I am earning my bad mother of the year award because I am not coming to run the Ramble with my 5th grader. Maybe someday he'll understand it's not personal?
My funk has lifted. I have just been busy. I had decided last week that I would really try to get back on track with WW this week. That was shot to he!! this week. But in the stress there has been no eating, mindless eating, OK eating. I still weigh the same. My jeans still fit. So we'll see how I feel about it all next week.
Thanks for your concern and comments. But PLEASE don't call the police. I've had enough of that this week.
Here's a recap of my week:
Monday-our Sheltie (the one that wakes me at 6 to go outside to bark at the bigger dog) nipped at Kelli. I know dogs nip and do things to protect themselves, but this was really aggressive. D put her out then and said she would NOT come back into our house.
Tuesday-I called around to find out the best thing to do with the dog. I decided to take her to the Denver Dumb Friend's League so she can hopefully be adopted by a childless home. It was an emotional day for me. Jack wet his underwear repeatedly...and even managed to get pee on 2 pairs of his shoes. Emma had been home sick and I was supposed to take her and the 2 littles into the dentist at 2 that afternoon. As we were walking out the front door, Jack E peed again. So by the time I get him changed and in the car, we were going to be late. The dentist has a policy that if you are 10 minutes late, they won't see you. It totally sucks when you are 13 minutes late for your appointment. It's really nice that I never have to wait there though. They did put in Emma's space maintainer so it wasn't a total loss. After we got home, I started getting myself together to take the dog in. I was planning on leaving the littles with Aleena while I was gone since I would have to paperwork, etc. When Aleena got home, she freaked out and told Clay and Emma that she was running away. She ran very predictably to her friend's house a few blocks away. After I left a message on friend's cell, the friend called back to say that Aleena was with her and safe. She came home after dinner. I left the kids with Trey (not the most vigilant child) while I dropped the dog off.
Wednesday-I thought Tuesday was a bad day. HAH!!!
I woke up just feeling lousy about the night before. As I was getting our stuff ready for work that morning, I realized I didn't really have stuff for us to take for lunch. I decided I would get us ready quickly and run into the grocery store. I made the REALLY REALLY stupid choice that it would be quicker if I left Jack E and Kelli in the car. I would just be a few minutes after all. I was having one of those moments when I am tired and have a headache and can't focus and take too long to make any decision whatsoever. When I finally walked back into the parking lot (at the most 20 minutes later), there was a police car behind my truck and a police officer looking around the car and in the windows. He was just acting curious not alarmed so I knew then that I was busted for leaving my kids unattended and that they were fine. When I opened the car door later, they were both sitting in their carseats just hanging out. The kind and concerned citizen parked next to me was giving her statement to another police officer while I talked to my police officer. When all was said and done, I was not charged with anything though it could have been a criminal offense. The police officer told me to expect contact from CPS regarding what else would happen.
We came home and started cleaning and picking up and fixing things that we had been putting off. You know, instead of our house looking like 6 kids and 2 working parents lived there, we made it look like we have a housekeeper and SAHM who is meticulously organized. My friend came over and helped me get the bathrooms all cleaned and sanitized. We had to tell the school age kids that they had to keep their rooms looking like this since CPS would be by to make sure our home was suitable. Some of them were freaked out, some of them thought that whole idea was laughable...that our home and family would be less than wonderful. Aleena reminded me that I needed to make dinner. Oh yeah. Thank goodness for spaghetti! I fell into bed at 7:30 with an awful headache and a feverish 2 year old.
I woke up at 9:30 when the phone rang and my dad left a message saying my grandfather had passed away.
Thursday-D stayed home from work. (He had called to check in with me while I was talking to the police on Wednesday and had been by my side ever since.) We kept tidying things and trying to prepare ourselves for a talk with CPS. We had talked to some friends who work with social services and they were pretty reassuring that it would all be OK. I finally called CPS and learned I wasn't even in their system yet.
I talked to my grandmother in the morning. This was her second husband. My first grandpa died when I was like 8 I think. Grandma had been married to Dale for over 29 years. He was 94 and had lived a full life. Grandma is sad, but we all knew it was time. I feel really bad that I didn't finish her Mother's Day gift in time for Grandpa to see it. The service is tomorrow and we aren't able to go, but I am thinking of them. Especially my little sister. This is the only grandfather she has ever known. Her other grandpa died before she was born.
Now it's Friday. The only drama of the day is that Aleena and her posse of friends decided to make this pajama day at school. She'd been warned before that it wasn't dress code. This time she was sent to the office. I do feel bad that it took me 90 minutes to make it 2 blocks away to the middle school with jeans. But I had to get elementary kids on the bus, shower and dress 2 sick littles to go out. And you KNOW I took them into the school office with me!!! I called CPS a little while ago and this time talked the woman who was there when the police called my situation in. She had trouble finding me in the system, but when she did, she told me that the police have handled it and CPS will not be contacting us. THANK GOD!!!
Mother's Day was good. It was a crazy busy weekend. I had a tummy bug on Sunday so I got to sit on the couch and crochet. I did get a new fridge too. That came on Saturday...and created a mini kitchen remodel (taking down cupboards and moving them) in the process. We have been busy with all the stuff that comes with the end of the school year too. Concerts and programs. Today is field day for my 3 and 5 graders. I am earning my bad mother of the year award because I am not coming to run the Ramble with my 5th grader. Maybe someday he'll understand it's not personal?
My funk has lifted. I have just been busy. I had decided last week that I would really try to get back on track with WW this week. That was shot to he!! this week. But in the stress there has been no eating, mindless eating, OK eating. I still weigh the same. My jeans still fit. So we'll see how I feel about it all next week.
Thanks for your concern and comments. But PLEASE don't call the police. I've had enough of that this week.
Monday, April 28, 2008
just a quick post
Just wanted to stop by and let you all know that I am still here and still on my journey.
I have been in the worst funk for more than a week. I have struggled with clinical depression and postpartum depression for a really long time. A lot of it is hormone related too. The past 10 days or so have been really bad for me. I told D on Saturday that I just would like to go to bed for a while. Maybe a few days I don't know.
But the thing about life and kids is that I just can't do that. Life keeps going and I have to try to keep up. Saturday was Emma's birthday and I really just wanted her to have a good day. She did. I tried to keep my gunk to myself as much as possible. For the most part, I think I do OK at maintaining.
Then again, my kids might notice that no laundry gets done for days at a time (or all week), I don't do my daily vacuuming and dinner consists of things like eggs, quesadillas and pasta for an entire week with no real effort put into meals.
Not sure where I am going with all of this. I did notice a huge thing the other day though. For years of my life, I have turned to private food binges to try to make myself feel better in times like this one. I had really managed to NOT do that all week last week. I did take the time to feed myself well and didn't eat pints of ice cream or secret cheeseburgers. In fact, I even got McD's for the 2 littles last week for lunch one day and made a salad for me at home instead.
But Saturday I started eating things I shouldn't (like birthday donuts!) and have really struggled all weekend. I want to get back on top of that part of it. There was a sense of pride in knowing that I had really changed the emotional eating aspect of it all. And even though I have struggled all weekend, it's not like it could have been.
Now to just get back OP...and wait for this funk to pass.
I have been in the worst funk for more than a week. I have struggled with clinical depression and postpartum depression for a really long time. A lot of it is hormone related too. The past 10 days or so have been really bad for me. I told D on Saturday that I just would like to go to bed for a while. Maybe a few days I don't know.
But the thing about life and kids is that I just can't do that. Life keeps going and I have to try to keep up. Saturday was Emma's birthday and I really just wanted her to have a good day. She did. I tried to keep my gunk to myself as much as possible. For the most part, I think I do OK at maintaining.
Then again, my kids might notice that no laundry gets done for days at a time (or all week), I don't do my daily vacuuming and dinner consists of things like eggs, quesadillas and pasta for an entire week with no real effort put into meals.
Not sure where I am going with all of this. I did notice a huge thing the other day though. For years of my life, I have turned to private food binges to try to make myself feel better in times like this one. I had really managed to NOT do that all week last week. I did take the time to feed myself well and didn't eat pints of ice cream or secret cheeseburgers. In fact, I even got McD's for the 2 littles last week for lunch one day and made a salad for me at home instead.
But Saturday I started eating things I shouldn't (like birthday donuts!) and have really struggled all weekend. I want to get back on top of that part of it. There was a sense of pride in knowing that I had really changed the emotional eating aspect of it all. And even though I have struggled all weekend, it's not like it could have been.
Now to just get back OP...and wait for this funk to pass.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
heeeellllllooooo???!!!
Anybody still checking in here?!
I can't believe I didn't post anything at all here for over a week! Sorry about that! I wasn't really crazily off plan or anything either. It was just life that was keeping me busy. And I didn't feel like I had much to really say. Or I said it all in the comments I left for some of my favorite bloggers.
I have been sticking with CORE and really enjoying it. I keep checking in with my materials to make sure that it's really a CORE food (like the scrambled eggs I just had with FF salsa and FF sour cream. How can that be so yummy and so on plan?), but it's going OK. I am not seeing any downward movement of the scale though.
I think the biggest reason is that I do great with CORE for a few days and then have a little binge. I'm just not recovering from those like I should. Or tracking them like I should maybe? I'm not tracking really at all, just eating mostly CORE foods when I am hungry. Which is fine to maintain since that is what I am doing. But I would like to lose 5 pounds to get me comfortably in the low 150's again. So I really do need to step it up.
I have been struggling with water again lately too. I'm just barely getting in my 6 glasses. I need more water I know. My friend Kathy encouraged all of her readers to have a Perfect On Play day yesterday. I tried. But I knew it would be a stretch so I tried to just do really well yesterday and decided today would be my perfect day.
Let me explain a little. We had a big ol' brew party here on Sunday. So I spent the day Saturday getting my house picked up and cleaned. D (my hubby) was getting stuff ready and cleaning out the garage (where he brewed this time-and my stove top thanks him for that!) all day too. I had the kids doing stuff with us all day too. Saturday we were supposed to go to a b-day party for the neighbor down the street. It didn't even start til 8 so you know it was definitely a grown up time. Complete with a keg, margarita machine and some nudie male entertainment!
We decided to just finish what we were doing and go when we got done. Since it would be late anyway, the kids would be able to watch a movie and then just go to bed. I was so tired at the end of the day. I asked Aleena (my oldest dd) what she was making for dinner. She told me I was getting pizza. So I ordered from Papa Murphy's. They have take and bake and it's a lot cheaper for my family. I was soooo hungry by that time. So my one piece turned into 2 1/2. I really contemplated picking up a salad while I was picking up the pizza, but I didn't. I should have. We were out of lettuce and I know that would have filled me up. At the party I only had 1 diet coke. No alcohol, no food, no chocolate fondue, no cake. I already felt icky after the pizza.
Sunday I just ate my face off I swear! We had "beer food" like chips and dip and buffalo wings and chips and salsa and meatballs and later fried chicken and brats and nuts and...You get the idea. I just ate a lot and didn't really care about the day. And I drank nothing but diet coke all day. I guess that's good since I didn't drink any beer or other alcohol then either. But I woke up yesterday feeling gross! It had been really windy on Sunday and I was outside all day. My allergies were going crazy. I was retaining water. My face was so bloated and gross looking.
So I didn't aim for perfection yesterday because I knew I wouldn't make it and would be frustrated with myself. I was sooooo very tired. My kids were really tired and crabby. I knew they would be wearing me out too. But other than grabbing a few crumbs of chips and having some saltines in the afternoon (simply because they were there), I did really well staying OP with the food. I only had 4 glasses of water though.
So today is my day to strive for perfection. And I need to stay away from all non-CORE foods for the rest of the week. My menu so far.
Breakfast: shredded wheat and ff milk, banana
scrambled eggs, ff sour cream and salsa
I'll come back later and let you know how the rest of the day shapes up!
I took Jack E for a walk to the park. As soon as we pulled up, he started to cry. "No like this park. Want to go home." I needed the rest but we just headed home. So I got in a 30 minute walk pushing a stroller up and down the hills to the park.
Lunch: (starving after a walk and a run to the grocery store) green olives stuffed with jalapenos
deli turkey
salad with tomato, cucumber, avocado and ff salad dressing
I've had 1 glass of water but I also have had about 16 oz of decaf iced tea so that still counts, right?
So now it's a little after 3 and the kids are going to start making their way in. I finished off my big jug of iced tea (32 oz in all) and have had 24 more oz of water.
Snack: 2 clementines
smoothie/shake made with frozen sweet cherries, FF plain yogurt, FF milk, vanilla extract and a Splenda pack. YUMM!
Grabbed a few more of those olives this afternoon. Then ate the last chip crumbs that were in the bowl from Sunday. It sounded like a good idea. I'm thinking those are the 2 AP's from my walk today.
Dinner:
broiled asian marinated chicken breast
quinoa pilaf with peas/carrots, onion, garlic, ginger and a little tamari
couple bites of green beans (they were icky so none of us are eating them!)
I'm not sure if I'll have a snack tonight or not. I'm not really a big nighttime snacker unless I am having a private binge. Maybe some strawberries and FF yogurt?
I can't believe I didn't post anything at all here for over a week! Sorry about that! I wasn't really crazily off plan or anything either. It was just life that was keeping me busy. And I didn't feel like I had much to really say. Or I said it all in the comments I left for some of my favorite bloggers.
I have been sticking with CORE and really enjoying it. I keep checking in with my materials to make sure that it's really a CORE food (like the scrambled eggs I just had with FF salsa and FF sour cream. How can that be so yummy and so on plan?), but it's going OK. I am not seeing any downward movement of the scale though.
I think the biggest reason is that I do great with CORE for a few days and then have a little binge. I'm just not recovering from those like I should. Or tracking them like I should maybe? I'm not tracking really at all, just eating mostly CORE foods when I am hungry. Which is fine to maintain since that is what I am doing. But I would like to lose 5 pounds to get me comfortably in the low 150's again. So I really do need to step it up.
I have been struggling with water again lately too. I'm just barely getting in my 6 glasses. I need more water I know. My friend Kathy encouraged all of her readers to have a Perfect On Play day yesterday. I tried. But I knew it would be a stretch so I tried to just do really well yesterday and decided today would be my perfect day.
Let me explain a little. We had a big ol' brew party here on Sunday. So I spent the day Saturday getting my house picked up and cleaned. D (my hubby) was getting stuff ready and cleaning out the garage (where he brewed this time-and my stove top thanks him for that!) all day too. I had the kids doing stuff with us all day too. Saturday we were supposed to go to a b-day party for the neighbor down the street. It didn't even start til 8 so you know it was definitely a grown up time. Complete with a keg, margarita machine and some nudie male entertainment!
We decided to just finish what we were doing and go when we got done. Since it would be late anyway, the kids would be able to watch a movie and then just go to bed. I was so tired at the end of the day. I asked Aleena (my oldest dd) what she was making for dinner. She told me I was getting pizza. So I ordered from Papa Murphy's. They have take and bake and it's a lot cheaper for my family. I was soooo hungry by that time. So my one piece turned into 2 1/2. I really contemplated picking up a salad while I was picking up the pizza, but I didn't. I should have. We were out of lettuce and I know that would have filled me up. At the party I only had 1 diet coke. No alcohol, no food, no chocolate fondue, no cake. I already felt icky after the pizza.
Sunday I just ate my face off I swear! We had "beer food" like chips and dip and buffalo wings and chips and salsa and meatballs and later fried chicken and brats and nuts and...You get the idea. I just ate a lot and didn't really care about the day. And I drank nothing but diet coke all day. I guess that's good since I didn't drink any beer or other alcohol then either. But I woke up yesterday feeling gross! It had been really windy on Sunday and I was outside all day. My allergies were going crazy. I was retaining water. My face was so bloated and gross looking.
So I didn't aim for perfection yesterday because I knew I wouldn't make it and would be frustrated with myself. I was sooooo very tired. My kids were really tired and crabby. I knew they would be wearing me out too. But other than grabbing a few crumbs of chips and having some saltines in the afternoon (simply because they were there), I did really well staying OP with the food. I only had 4 glasses of water though.
So today is my day to strive for perfection. And I need to stay away from all non-CORE foods for the rest of the week. My menu so far.
Breakfast: shredded wheat and ff milk, banana
scrambled eggs, ff sour cream and salsa
I'll come back later and let you know how the rest of the day shapes up!
I took Jack E for a walk to the park. As soon as we pulled up, he started to cry. "No like this park. Want to go home." I needed the rest but we just headed home. So I got in a 30 minute walk pushing a stroller up and down the hills to the park.
Lunch: (starving after a walk and a run to the grocery store) green olives stuffed with jalapenos
deli turkey
salad with tomato, cucumber, avocado and ff salad dressing
I've had 1 glass of water but I also have had about 16 oz of decaf iced tea so that still counts, right?
So now it's a little after 3 and the kids are going to start making their way in. I finished off my big jug of iced tea (32 oz in all) and have had 24 more oz of water.
Snack: 2 clementines
smoothie/shake made with frozen sweet cherries, FF plain yogurt, FF milk, vanilla extract and a Splenda pack. YUMM!
Grabbed a few more of those olives this afternoon. Then ate the last chip crumbs that were in the bowl from Sunday. It sounded like a good idea. I'm thinking those are the 2 AP's from my walk today.
Dinner:
broiled asian marinated chicken breast
quinoa pilaf with peas/carrots, onion, garlic, ginger and a little tamari
couple bites of green beans (they were icky so none of us are eating them!)
I'm not sure if I'll have a snack tonight or not. I'm not really a big nighttime snacker unless I am having a private binge. Maybe some strawberries and FF yogurt?
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