Just wanted to stop by and let you all know that I am still here and still on my journey.
I have been in the worst funk for more than a week. I have struggled with clinical depression and postpartum depression for a really long time. A lot of it is hormone related too. The past 10 days or so have been really bad for me. I told D on Saturday that I just would like to go to bed for a while. Maybe a few days I don't know.
But the thing about life and kids is that I just can't do that. Life keeps going and I have to try to keep up. Saturday was Emma's birthday and I really just wanted her to have a good day. She did. I tried to keep my gunk to myself as much as possible. For the most part, I think I do OK at maintaining.
Then again, my kids might notice that no laundry gets done for days at a time (or all week), I don't do my daily vacuuming and dinner consists of things like eggs, quesadillas and pasta for an entire week with no real effort put into meals.
Not sure where I am going with all of this. I did notice a huge thing the other day though. For years of my life, I have turned to private food binges to try to make myself feel better in times like this one. I had really managed to NOT do that all week last week. I did take the time to feed myself well and didn't eat pints of ice cream or secret cheeseburgers. In fact, I even got McD's for the 2 littles last week for lunch one day and made a salad for me at home instead.
But Saturday I started eating things I shouldn't (like birthday donuts!) and have really struggled all weekend. I want to get back on top of that part of it. There was a sense of pride in knowing that I had really changed the emotional eating aspect of it all. And even though I have struggled all weekend, it's not like it could have been.
Now to just get back OP...and wait for this funk to pass.