finally made it

I finally made it back to my meeting this week. I was really tempted to stay in bed this morning. But Kelli and her harmonica had other plans. *sigh* A quick peek on the scale told me I wouldn't get on the WW scale today and risk having to pay them. I do finally feel like I will be back in my free zone this week so I'll plan to be official and weigh in next week.

Our meeting was about emotional eating today, especially the emotion of STRESS eating. I know that is a huge area of struggle for me. I have learned to really stop and ask myself if it will make me feel better to eat that treat or not. The answer is always no, but sometimes I decide to gobble it up anyway. I do often grab a diet Coke in those moments too. That's one of the ways I know it's such an addiction for me. I take a guzzle and feel more in control and better able to deal with whatever is bugging me. Yep, that would be a sure sign of addiction right there, huh? Good thing there's nothing else in that diet Coke, huh?

On the CORE front, I am still doing awesome. Yesterday afternoon I did have that "I just want to eat something" feeling. I had a little piece of cranberry bread (which is getting pretty dry by now) and it made me want MORE so I stopped and decided I needed to get away from the kitchen. I made the kids spaghetti last night for dinner but since I had had a baked potato topped with chili for lunch, I knew I needed something else for me. I made a frittata with onions and peppers and zucchini and grape tomatoes and fat free feta. So yummy. Sometimes I feel like I am doing a low carb thing again, but then realize that I can still have those "forbidden" foods just in moderation. And some of those forbidden foods aren't forbidden at all. Like hot cereal. yum!

So my plan is to track what I eat and really aim to stay within my 35 WPA this week. Once I get down to 152 again, I will officially go back into maintain mode and up my WPA to 63. That is A LOT of WPA. I can hardly wait! LOL I really like the idea of not counting and not having limits. I think that was hard for me before. I wouldn't feel full after eating my good FLEX meal so I would overeat on things I shouldn't. Now I know if I am still hungry after 20 minutes I'll just find something else to eat keeping in mind the 8 GHG's. I'm much less tempted to eat things I shouldn't when I know I have lots of good choices available to me.

starting day 3

I cannot believe how different I feel only on my 3rd morning of CORE. Because I was baffled by what a person could possibly find to eat, let me share my menu from yesterday.

Bear Mush (kind of like cream of wheat)
grapes
apple
steamed brussels sprouts
chili (the one I posted about with beans and TVP) with sour cream 2 bowls *blush*
WW chocolate muffin (it was in the freezer and I just wanted a treat. miraculously I was MORE than satisfied with that treat)
bites of grapefruit I was cutting for the kids
salad with hard cooked eggs, tomato, cucumber, lettuce mix and FF dressing (still trying to determine if it's CORE or not)
2 glasses of FF milk
clementine

I am surprised at how little I ate. I mean after lunch I had that muffin because I was hungry and it was the time of day I normally binge. The day before I had had popcorn in that time slot. It really is freeing to know I can eat whenever I am hungry as long as I choose wisely. And I can't believe I had 2 cups of milk last night. It's been years since I did that. I was probably pregnant with someone the last time I really just drank milk. but I know it's good for me and I should drink it, but I never wanted to use points on milk. Instead I would use them on junk!

So just wanted to check in with you and let you know that I am doing great.

And the scale? It was 160.4 on Wednesday morning. This morning it said 157.4. That might be my favorite part!!! **grin**

chili

It's kind of chilly today and gray and a little rainy. So I decided to make a pot of this for lunch today. Yummy! I'll be topping it with some sour cream. And I might put it over a baked potato even. The recipe calls for a teaspoon of sugar. That part isn't CORE so I just left it out. I figure, what good is ONE teaspoon of sugar going to do in a pot of chili?

This is kind of fun. Then again, I need to get out my first week's book and make sure I am following the rules as I should.

So I made the switch!

Tuesday just felt more and more out of control. I was eating whatever was easy and not really thinking if I was even hungry or not. I decided that night that I would try CORE for the rest of the week. I know with WW's we're not supposed to switch mid-week, but they say it's OK for maintenance. Even though I am trying to lose, well...whatever!

So I did it. Yesterday I was trying to figure out what to take to work for lunch so I just grabbed a couple of hard boiled eggs. And some carrots and mango and clementines. I'd had cottage cheese for breakfast. I was hungry when I got home, so I had a boca burger with some ketchup and mustard and some grapes. Then later when Emma got home from school (since everyone else was home sick!), I had some FF popcorn. I was hungry last night for something. Something like a mexi-melt from Taco Bell in fact. I've been craving one of those for DAYS now.

Instead I had some scrambled eggs with salsa and sour cream. The cranberry bread that had been sitting on the counter all day calling to me finally got a little of my attention after that. But I was proud of myself for only having a little bit after I had eaten my other stuff. I hadn't eaten dinner since with all the sick kids, the ones who felt like it kind of just picked. And Jack E was SO fussy and demanding my time.

So all in all my first day on CORE was a success. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be at all. And I really wanted to be able to eat without setting limits for myself. I know that with FLEX, there is not food that is off limits and all that, but to me it seems like a little of the wrong food just leaves me wanting more and more. And since it's so easy to justify the first bite if I have the points for it, I wind up having too much and going way off plan.

This morning I had my bear mush for breakfast. Yummy. And I had a few grapes. I think knowing that I can eat something from my list no matter where I sit points wise is a good move for my psyche if nothing else.

And looking back, I realized that I didn't even get to my 23 points yesterday. It's been a LONG time since I came in under my DPA.

I do have to confess to not REALLY following the true plan yesterday. My cottage cheese was 1% and not fat free. And my sour cream was reduced fat and not fat free. But I'm thinking that that wasn't a good enough reason to not make the switch. When I shop this weekend, I'll get the right stuff, but for the next couple of days I'm just almost there.

blip

Isn't that what we call it in WW terms when we go OFF plan for a day or two?

The stress has gotten to me I guess. I did the clean when I'm stressed thing. Yesterday I did like 8 loads of laundry. Today I've scrubbed my wood floor and the main level bathroom. I did the bake when I'm stressed thing. I made honey oatmeal bread, orange juice muffins, sour cherry cake and cranberry bread.

Today I have just eaten carbs.

Moving on from here.

Kelli's ear will be fine. No permanent damage and she can wear her hair up with pride. Jack E still has tummy troubles. Trey has caught the bug. Emma has a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon to deal with her broken baby tooth. Aleena has attitude to spare today. So now I just wait to see if Clay starts getting the tummy bug before or after his drum lesson at 5 this afternoon.

But my truck has some costly new brakes. Our big family computer is acting up. My vacuum cleaner is acting strange.

Enough complaining. The bus just dropped off Emma and Clay. Time to find them a snack.

weight loss but no meeting

I didn't make it to my meeting again this week. You can read all the exciting details about it here.

But I did weigh myself at home on Saturday morning for a reading of 158.2. So the bummer about weighing every day is that I saw 157.2 twice last week and really wanted that number again on Saturday morning. But I do have to remind myself that in a week I went from 161.4 to 158.2. That is a loss of 3.2 pounds. Pretty awesome for my first OP and tracking week in quite some time.

I am staying OP this weekend too. I have still felt mildly sick, but it's probably from all the stress or sickness around here. I need to get more veggies in my mouth. I sure have enough in my fridge!

I'll check in with you all soon.

it's been a week

And I am still On Plan. It feels pretty good lemme tell ya! Yesterday got a little away from me. I woke up late and had to run out the door to go to work with my 3 youngest in tow. I grabbed a bagel and threw some cream cheese on it and got some drive through for the kids...french toast sticks and hash rounds. Yeah that wasn't so smart. I only ate a couple of their sticks. And I really felt icky for it too.

For lunch I had brought some tuna and a couple slices of bread. I had that and some apple...good so far. Then we went to the market on the way home and stocked up on fruit. And they had salmon on sale so I got some for tomorrow night. When we walked in the door, I was HUNGRY. I ate some of the pastry stuff that the older kids had left from breakfast. I was just in running mode and grabbing whatever I could. Then for dinner, I broiled some chicken and threw a bunch of green veggies in to stir fry (broccoli, green beans, pea pods, bell pepper and spinach-aren't I creative?! HA!) I also made croutons for a salad. That was probably not the wisest choice. They just tasted soooooo good. I ate too many. Then after dinner (where I really only ate a little chicken and salad) I plopped on the couch. I totally wanted more salad so I did. But I swear this morning I woke up with the ickiest tummy from all the croutons. UGH!!

I just finally had some breakfast after lying in bed most of the morning. Bear mush and a banana. How's that for bland food? The scale has been my friend this week too...,mostly.

You know I used to have a major issue with the scale. Like I weighed myself 8-12 times a day. Not healthy I know. Now I typically just weigh every morning so that's big improvement, right? This week has seen_

Sa-161.4
Su-160.4
Mo-160.4
Tu-160.2
We-157.4 (HUH?!)
Th-160.2

So we'll see how the rest of the week shapes up. Tuesday was a busy day and I didn't eat much in the evening but then had a big salad around 9. I'm wondering if that was the reason I was so low yesterday morning.

How are you doing out there?

so that's how I did it!!!

For the past few months I have really struggled with losing the 7 pounds I gained over Christmas. The scale has just creeped up .2 or .4 until now I really would like to lose 8 pounds. I have struggled with thinking, "how did I ever LIVE on 23 points a day?" I am always starving in the afternoon and have used way too many points in that time period. Sure I don't eat a lot of dinner, but I am still over for the day.

But yesterday I seemed to remember how I lost more than 30 pounds using 23 points a day and snacked in the afternoon. VEGETABLES!!! I was hungry around 2:30 so I grabbed the leftover asparagus from Easter and ate that. Then I munched on cherry tomatoes while I was baking bread and a cake (which is really a quick bread baked in a rectangle and not sweet at all). Then while I made dinner, I grabbed the cucumber sunomo from the fridge and gobbled up the rest of that.

Three servings of veggies, 0 points, and quite filling. And I also drank about 32 ounces of water while I was eating all that.

OooooOOOOooooooooHHH yeah!!! That's how I lost weight before. When I was hungry I drank water and ate vegetables instead of diet Coke and peanut butter banana chocolate chip bread (yes, it's really yummy!)

Maybe I can lose those 8 pounds again! And I have realized that I totally have to get back to walking. I'm not a huge exerciser at all. I really took my morning walk just for the time alone in my head, but my butt is not so tight now and my thighs and calves are more jiggly. Walking will just help me get firmer again. And give me a little time alone. *sigh*

Easter wasn't bad. I got a purse and a knitting book in my basket. D got good chocolates like a Dove solid dark chocolate bunny. I got into the kiddos stuff a little in the afternoon, but I tracked it and moved away from the chocolate. I know it's there if I want a little nibble, but I don't have to gorge myself on it because last I checked, there was no chocolate shortage in the Denver metro area! :~) I can have chocolate any time I want, so I DON'T have to pig out today...or tomorrow or the next day.

How are you faring these days?

2 days OP

and I am down .6. Yeah!!!

Last night I totally wanted to grab the carton of ice cream and have at it. But I didn't. I went to bed instead. I'm so glad I made that choice.

I did eat about 5 dark chocolate m&m's while Aleena and I stuffed plastic eggs. But she had to try each of the 8 kinds of chocolate that we were using...good thing she's SKINNY...and 12!

One full day on plan...

...and I didn't lose 5 pounds overnight? What's that all about?!?!?!

Yes that is how my crazy mind works. Today I feel fat. Chubby. Not like a hottie.

Just in time for Easter candy!!! I have it from a reliable source that I am NOT getting a chocolate bunny this year. Guess the Easter Bunny knows what I need. Have you seenthis cute little quiz? I appreciate the finer things in life it seems! What does it say about you?

shopping

It's been a few months since I had the opportunity to look for new clothes and try them on. Easter is coming though, you know.

So I have been trying a few things on the last couple of days. Today I saw a cute pair of drawstring pants on the clearance rack. There was only Large left. I know I wear a Medium, but I thought I would try the Larges on. They were pretty roomy, but I could tighten the drawstring enough so that they fit. I almost got them. Almost. Then I thought of what my friend Kathy blogged about the other day. When our clothes give us room to gain a little, we take full advantage! So I didn't get pants that I could grow into.

I did get a size 8 skirt instead. It's a little tight in the middle. Like I can see every one of those 7 pounds I have gained!!! But then again I didn't really have on the right undies, so I'm hoping that I'll look a little better on Sunday morning.

It really was quite motivating to look at the body I have after spending the winter not getting in my walks and not ever getting off my holiday weight gain. I have a couple of good days, then a few bad. Last week D and I both had birthdays so I just was fighting up hill all week. I have to remind myself that it's not all or nothing. Even though I am not happy with how I look right now, I am still in size 10 jeans. Sure they are a little tight, but there is no way I would fit into the size 18's from not too long ago. I need to lose 7 pounds. I will. I know I will.

tell me it was the stroller!!!

As I promised myself, I took a walk this morning while Kelli was at preschool. It's a beautiful day out...nearly 50. Last week was gorgeous! It was around 70 on Saturday even. But then a storm came through and we got a lot more snow on Sunday. It's melting, but the playground was still pretty covered in snow. Jack climbed around a little, but he wasn't really interested in playing a lot at the park. Maybe Thursday will be better? But it's supposed to snow again tomorrow so who knows?

My walk to the park was just PART of the walks I used to take. OMG it's been a while since I got out there!!! It must have been pushing the stroller that made it so much more difficult, right?! Who am I kidding? I have been out of it for too long! It did feel good to get out there again. I can see myself getting back to those early morning walks soon. For now, I am committed to getting out with Jack 2 days a week. And I'm sure I'll get to more soon.

On the eating front it's been OK. I started tracking this weekend again and have really kept track. Saturdays tend to be really over the top for me. This one was no exception. I had burgers thawing for dinner. I was thinking about what to go with them. I typically made my own oven fries. Little oil, relatively healthy...good vehicle for ketchup! This weekend I looked at all the onions in the garage from our winter farm share and told D I thought we should make onion rings with my dad's secret beer batter recipe.

WHAT A BAD IDEA!!!!!

I realized that after the first batch came out of the oil and were draining on the rack. I ate SOOOOO many of those things. I literally felt queasy by the time we were ready to sit at the table with the burgers. I ate a little coleslaw and an ear of corn on the cob and called it a day. The next morning at church we had our "big table" day...basically a HUGE potluck. I stuck to the grapes.

Last night the 4 older kids and D were having some pie while we watched a little TV (in peace since the littles were in BED). I served them all a slice of pie (not homemade this time) with a little ice cream. I was actually hungry then too. I opted for some defrosted strawberries, fresh blueberries and blackberries, a little vanilla kefir and a sprinkle of wheat germ. It tasted great and I didn't feel any guilt. I love berries for that reason. They are YUMMY and low in points.

OH!!! We found a new fruit that we all just LOVE. Pomelo! My MIL told me it's a cross between an orange and a grapefruit. It looks like a HUGE yellow grapefruit. I am not a grapefruit fan at all. I just don't like the flavor, but a pomelo is so much more mild. It tastes more like Fresca as a matter of fact. It's a little bit of a pain to peel, but because it's so big there's a ton of fruit in there as a pay off. According to my Eat Wisely book, a 3 pound pomelo is 3 points. I have been sharing mine (all about 3 pounds) with all the kiddos so I count it as 1 point when I have some. You should check them out.

I wanted to say thank you to all of you who have been leaving me encouraging comments. This has been so much harder than I thought it would be. I am starting to think that losing the weight was the easy part. I guess there is statistical data to show that, huh? Since so many "losers" regain the weight. I really don't want to be that person. I want to be in the minority, but I've got to utilize the tools I learned along the weight loss journey to do it. So thanks for the encouragment. I have stepped away from the weight loss blog world a little lately. I do think I needed to find a little more of myself outside of the number on the scale. I was becoming really obsessed with that in a really negative way. I am trying to be more the whole person that I am. A wife, a mama, a friend, a baker, a crocheter, a knitter, a nanny, a neighbor, a "loser". So I am not reading the 25 or so blogs that I used to read...just a handful right now. But I am also looking around and finding blogs that feeds other pieces of my soul too. I'll try to get back to check on everyone now and then, but I'm not making any promises!

So thankful for cyber friends!!!

I think I found my motivation

I wasn't going to go but I did. I was up yet again, but my morning home scale got really ugly this week. Like a day in the 160's. Told you it was ugly. This morning the scale said 158.2 at home and I was THRILLED. Seriously. I was expecting it to be worse. But I am still dealing with TOM and months of out of control eating.

But yesterday I finally felt back on top of it. I didn't track and I didn't worry about points. I hadn't for the last half of the week anyway. But I got a lot more water yesterday and when I wanted to munch I ate fruit. I ate a lot of fruit yesterday, but it's so much lower in calories than some of the other stuff I have been eating that I am OK with that. Jack E eats little but fruit and he's thin, right? Then again, he's not even 2 and a half so maybe that has something to do with it too, huh?

But today I think I finally feel back on top. Your comments have been so great for me. It reminds me of where I have come from. Even though I am NOT happy with the scale these days (and the choices I have made to get it there), I still weigh less than I have for most of my married life. Yesterday the trash man was hitting on me even!!! And I am thinking about how I am eating much more. I have favorite low cal foods and not just things I HAVE to eat. I can do this. I have already done it, I just need to get back on track.

I started gaining some weight around the holidays...when there was too much food around and when I stopped getting out there and walking each morning. It's so easy to just stay in bed, but I have realized that with Kelli in preschool I only have 1 kid at home 2 mornings a week. I always used the 2 of them as an excuse that I didn't have a double stroller so I couldn't go with them. But I really can stick Jack E in the stroller and get out for a walk. And if I take the right route when can get in a good walk then end up at the park for a while before we head home. He'll be in heaven! No it won't be the solitary time I had before, but maybe it will inspire me to get out of bed early again and get that alone time.

So my goal for the week is again to lose a pound. I didn't get there last week, but I really think I will this week.

Gotta go, the troops are getting restless!!! **sigh**

spoke too soon

So I had 3 good days OP and then 2 really awful days. Oh, and TOM showed up too! Things are NOT looking good for a pound loss this week!!!

But I got this word cloud idea fromBecky and thought I'd check it out. Very fun. But the one on my mama blog isn't so pretty!

FYI

This is the 3rd day in a row where I have felt OP. I did use a bunch of flexies the weekend, but not all of them yet!!! And I even tracked my little nibbles.

Today I haven't tracked my little nibbles. They have all been fruit...some pear, a few blueberries, a slice of apple, a chunk of nectarine. If that's all it is, I won't really care since I also don't track the AP of running up and down the stairs carrying a kid or two for half the day either.

So, yes, I am being good!!!

little giggle

Politics aside, I saw this on a bumper sticker yesterday and it made me laugh right out loud:

Monica Lewinsky's ex-boyfriend's wife for President!!!

Hope you liked it as much as I did!!!

what's goin' on

I went to my meeting yesterday and was up even more. I honestly wasn't surprised AT ALL!!! I have had the hardest time getting back to where I want to be and getting my head back into the WW game. And last week I just felt off for a few days. I was totally depressed about I'm not sure what. I felt overwhelmed by life. Just seemed like it was all too much. So I ate more than I should to comfort myself. (It didn't work by the way!!!)

I really considered NOT going to my meeting yesterday morning. I had turned off my alarm after the first ring. I just was going to sleep in. Then my cell rang at 6:45 with a number I didn't recognize. They left a message. Something totally random "good morning sunshine...the sun is smiling on you!" whatever!!! It's not even 7 yet!!! Then they called back, but no message this time. So I went potty. And by this time the dog is awake and wants out. So I got up and got dressed and went to WW.

The meeting was good for me in that we talked about those ANTS. But we also talked about setting a goal and the objectives to get there. I think for a while I've been bugged that I have 6 or 7 pounds to lose. I think about it, but I don't do anything about it. So yesterday in my meeting I decided I would work toward losing 1 pound this week. Just 1. I'm not going to think about anything but getting to 156.?. Then I will work on the rest later. And I decided I have to do better with water. Oh, and STOP FREAKING EATING!!!!

Now I know WW is not a diet and we shouldn't feel deprived all the time and we shouldn't be hungry. But honestly, it's OK to be a little hungry sometimes and to deprive myself a LOT more often than I have been. I have seriously been eating way above my daily points for weeks now. I know I can eat all my dailies and above my weekly flexies too and still lose, but it's like I have been pushing that to the limit. And I haven't been losing at all. In fact, I've been steadily gaining for weeks and weeks now.

So yesterday I really tried to scale it back. But we did have a big Saturday night dinner, and total comfort foods, too. Cube steak and gravy, mashed potatoes (they were from instant since I was being lazy so they weren't so good), cheesy cauliflower, peas, biscuits and apple crumb pie for dessert. Not really a low point meal. But I honestly ate really small portions of everything (except the pie!) and felt good about it. Today we went out for lunch after church to a BBQ place. I had sliced turkey with some BBQ sauce, this cucumber/tomato/onion salad and jalapeno beans. And a little ice cream cone. :) Still kind of crazy, but I do usually eat more on the weekends especially if we go out.

So I am feeling on top of my WW thing for the first time in a while. Yesterday was the first day where I totally felt OP. I only nibbled a tiny bit in the afternoon and TRACKED it ALL. So here's hoping to losing a pound. And if it's more, that's great. I know the momentum of losing just ONE pound will help me get back on track to lose a few more too.

Oh, and my friend at church this morning asked if I'd been losing more weight. I said no. Then she said, "then those must be your 'good butt' jeans"!

whew!

I'm taking just a sec to post before the kids start coming in from school. I have been doing much better at staying OP. Saturday I baked...bread for the week, banana bread and chocolate chip cookies. I had half a slice of banana bread, a small cookie and a bite of Aleena's warm buttered bread. Pretty impressive, huh?!

Then Sunday I ate like crazy and even had a pig out session with the ice cream.

But this week has been really good. I've stayed really close to my daily points, gotten better with my GHG's and gotten in the minimum of water at least.

And the scale moves down. Then again, it was up after all the ice cream on Sunday night!!!

I did go to my meeting last Saturday. I weighed in up another .2, but after last week I was OK with that. Hope to be under 155 when I do my WI in March.

Hope you are all doing well and staying OP!

more later I promise!!!

You Are Basil

You are quite popular and loved by post people. You have a mild temperament, but your style is definitely distinctive. You are sweet, attractive, and you often smell good.

What Spice Are You?

I really thought they were habits

After over a year on WW I find myself NOT journaling this week. And drinking next to no water. What gives with that? Needless to say, I expect to be up even MORE tomorrow at WI. I've seriously got to get past this.

I know, why don't I try sticking to my WPA, flex points, journaling and drinking some WATER!!!

Oh, and you can read about my fascinating Valentine's Day here.