Sunday, February 24, 2008

what's goin' on

I went to my meeting yesterday and was up even more. I honestly wasn't surprised AT ALL!!! I have had the hardest time getting back to where I want to be and getting my head back into the WW game. And last week I just felt off for a few days. I was totally depressed about I'm not sure what. I felt overwhelmed by life. Just seemed like it was all too much. So I ate more than I should to comfort myself. (It didn't work by the way!!!)

I really considered NOT going to my meeting yesterday morning. I had turned off my alarm after the first ring. I just was going to sleep in. Then my cell rang at 6:45 with a number I didn't recognize. They left a message. Something totally random "good morning sunshine...the sun is smiling on you!" whatever!!! It's not even 7 yet!!! Then they called back, but no message this time. So I went potty. And by this time the dog is awake and wants out. So I got up and got dressed and went to WW.

The meeting was good for me in that we talked about those ANTS. But we also talked about setting a goal and the objectives to get there. I think for a while I've been bugged that I have 6 or 7 pounds to lose. I think about it, but I don't do anything about it. So yesterday in my meeting I decided I would work toward losing 1 pound this week. Just 1. I'm not going to think about anything but getting to 156.?. Then I will work on the rest later. And I decided I have to do better with water. Oh, and STOP FREAKING EATING!!!!

Now I know WW is not a diet and we shouldn't feel deprived all the time and we shouldn't be hungry. But honestly, it's OK to be a little hungry sometimes and to deprive myself a LOT more often than I have been. I have seriously been eating way above my daily points for weeks now. I know I can eat all my dailies and above my weekly flexies too and still lose, but it's like I have been pushing that to the limit. And I haven't been losing at all. In fact, I've been steadily gaining for weeks and weeks now.

So yesterday I really tried to scale it back. But we did have a big Saturday night dinner, and total comfort foods, too. Cube steak and gravy, mashed potatoes (they were from instant since I was being lazy so they weren't so good), cheesy cauliflower, peas, biscuits and apple crumb pie for dessert. Not really a low point meal. But I honestly ate really small portions of everything (except the pie!) and felt good about it. Today we went out for lunch after church to a BBQ place. I had sliced turkey with some BBQ sauce, this cucumber/tomato/onion salad and jalapeno beans. And a little ice cream cone. :) Still kind of crazy, but I do usually eat more on the weekends especially if we go out.

So I am feeling on top of my WW thing for the first time in a while. Yesterday was the first day where I totally felt OP. I only nibbled a tiny bit in the afternoon and TRACKED it ALL. So here's hoping to losing a pound. And if it's more, that's great. I know the momentum of losing just ONE pound will help me get back on track to lose a few more too.

Oh, and my friend at church this morning asked if I'd been losing more weight. I said no. Then she said, "then those must be your 'good butt' jeans"!


Kathy said...

Here's my hand, friend...and lots of good wishes. I know how scary it is to feel that you are not in control of your eating...even for a minute! It might also help to plan your food for the day before you eat it. Sounds like you are eating pretty randomly and that will get you every time.

What you want to lose is so DOABLE! It is so little compared to what you've already accomplished. Just do it and get it over with! It will be so awesome and empowering! Just think...maybe every pair of jeans will be the "good butt" jeans!

TB--Milwaukee said...

Not feeling deprived is starting to get me too. I feel like I don't want to be deprived, so I eat what I want...and then I eat more.

As long as you keep tracking, that's half the battle.

Law student said...

I agree with 100% of what you blogged. I have felt the EXACT way for a few days/weeks now. I don't know how to get over it. Maybe it's the weather? I'll blog later but for now. . .I just wanted to say hi. :)

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

Welcome back on board the wagon! I've been saving you a seat!

CaRoLyN said...

Who doesn't love great pair of good butt jeans? Hard to find so hold on to them haha.

Sorry to hear you've been feeling out of whack lately. It's so easy to let it snowball isn't it? One bad choice turns into 2, turns into 3 and then a whole weekend.

Today is a new week though and I know you'll do great. Just take it one choice at a time!

Kate said...

It's always nice when you get back to feeling in control. And I think your goal of a pound is a great goal, and your right, once you lose that pound it will give you great momentum!