I haven't been getting in my 8 GHG's...in the areas or F/V and dairy.
I went to a meeting last week but didn't WI.
I have been tracking it all. Every ugly detail.
I am the one who brought the junk in here. And it's not really "junk". Whole wheat banana and wheat germ bread isn't really unhealthy, but it takes points when I could spend them better. I have never really kept stuff out of our house just because I was on WW. I feel like if it's not OK for me to have occaisionally then my kids should NEVER have it. So we have ice cream around. And a bag of chips every couple of weeks. And I will bake cookies or muffins. I have always been able to stay out of the stuff until lately. And 4 of my 6 kids are at the bottom of the healthy range for weight. They eat all the time I swear! But they really do eat mostly fruits and yogurt for snacks. They have cereal sometimes or toast with peanut butter. Heck even our peanut butter is the natural kind that just peanuts! My kiddos have great eating habits so D and I must be doing something right there.
So what did I come up with yesterday in all my reflecting? Well, I should say that I was having cramps and feeling the early stuff of PMS even though that's more than a week away. So my thinking was a little clouded by all of that. I almost started crying in the shower when I heard D banging on the door. He was coming home from work with stuff in his hands and needed someone to open the door. Kelli can't unlock it (THANK GOD or she'd be running the neighborhood in her panties!) and didn't know what to do. I could hear him banging and felt so bad that he was locked out. He did have his keys in his pocket and a garage door opener in his truck, but still I wanted to cry.
So I was not in a good place! And I just felt naseous too. Just all around icky.
Back to my reflection. This really goes to show how deeply my nueroses go. I think part of my issue lately has come from reaching my goal weight that is above WW's limit for my height. That letter I need to get from my doctor really bugs me I guess. It's like I didn't quite make it to my goal. When I set 155 as my goal, I felt so great about my body. I really felt like that was a weight I could maintain easily and look good.
Then WW told me I was still fat. (That's the PMS part talking.)
Today I've been really trying to make my peace with the fact that I want to eat healthfully and feel fit for me. I love the WW program. I am a HUGE advocate for it. But I need to process how I'm feeling about this a little more.
Today I am trying to reclaim myself. And honestly it's a hard day to do it. I haven't done overnight work (as a postpartum doula or night nanny) for over a year. I did one night last week and then worked again last night. I am basically there to do whatever for these twins so mama can sleep. I give them a bottle, change diapers, soothe them and get them back to sleep. The babies I cared for last night are 3 months old so they are really used to their routine. They did sleep a little longer last night. So I slept from around 9:30-midnight. Both babies back asleep by 1 and then I was up at 4:15 to give them each another bottle before I left at 5. Then I was home on my couch half asleep from 5:45 til about 6:45 or 7.
I'm a little out of it, but not too bad. I stopped to get the kids donuts on my way home this morning. I was REALLY out of it then because for some reason I didn't think 1 dozen would be enough for them to all have 2 donuts. So I got 2 dozen. I was in the car before I realized how badly I suck at math that early in the morning.
I did eat 2 of the nasty wonderful things. But I put the rest in a tupperware in THE GARAGE until tomorrow morning so I won't pick anymore.
What I ate yesterday:
|picks of cereal||1|
|rolled oats with 1/2 banana, little honey and kefir||4|
|other half of banana :)||1|
|1/2 apple with a little PB (Jack E's leftovers)||2|
|whole wheat pasta with a little parmesan||4|
|cauliflower and lowfat cheese sauce (from frozen)||3|
|2 mint kisses||3|
|toast w/ jam||4|
|1 cup 1% cottage cheese w/ hot sauce||3|
|toast with jam||4|