weigh in frustration

Today I was only down .2.  I was really frustrated by that.  I have felt like I was on plan all week.  I got more exercise than I had any other week.  And I haven't used all my WPA yet.

I think that may be the problem.  Maybe I just haven't eaten enough this past week?  Or maybe this is what I have to look forward to?

A loss is a loss is a loss.  I would like to be losing closer to a pound a week but even if I only lose .2 a week, it does take me closer to my goal.

donuts and family favorites

Last night I helped my husband make one of his grandmother's recipes.  It was a noodle dough that we made into a dumpling with some cheesy filling.  Then there's a sauce that goes over it made from evaporated milk and sour cream.

Oh, my!  Rich, rich, rich!  I wasn't even sure how to track it so I just estimated.  I tried to not eat too much and I had a smaller lunch to help.  I woke up just feeling gross though anyway.

Then we went for donuts.  It's the local yummy place.  My husband had never been.  It was his day off...so we went after I took the dog on a good 40 minute walk.

Their donuts are really, really yummy.  I had my 2 favorite things and by the time we got home I was not feeling well at all!  Too much sugar or carbs or both without anything else in my body.  I was so nauseous and just felt so tired.  I wanted to go back to bed!

I finally had a string cheese for lunch and that helped me to feel better.  That's actually all I had for lunch, too.  Tonight we made turkey burgers.  They were loaded with cheese so even though they were low fat to begin with, we bumped up the fat content.

I'm feeling so discouraged with my weight loss today.  Probably because I got on the scale this morning and it was high.  I know there are those who don't think you should weigh every day.  But I feel like it helps me.  Then again, I used to weigh myself a dozen times a day so only doing it once in the morning is a big improvement.

At this point, I'm just trying to follow the plan that I know will work and do my best every day.

hungry!

My husband and I planned to go out for pizza on Friday night.  I had a plan.  I followed my plan.  I was proud of myself.

But Saturday I was hungry all day!  I couldn't fill myself up.  I ate more than I wanted and wasn't happy about it.

I hate it when I am feeling really good and in control of the food I'm eating and then I feel like it gets all out of control.  It's not like I had this massive binge that I didn't recover from.  I ate 2 biscuits in the middle of the afternoon.  Then I drank 32 oz of water.  I ate what I planned for dinner and moved on.

But today I feel hungry again.  I don't want to have a crazy binge that I will regret.  But I also believe that I need to eat all my points.  I don't have any answers tonight.  Just questions.

Feeling super frustrated!  I'm feeling like I will never get back to my goal weight.  I just need to keep following my plan for the next day or two and believe that it will get better.

surprises!

I woke up early early this morning.  There were big trucks moving around just after 6:30 this morning in preparation for working on our sewer line on our street all day.  I couldn't get back to sleep and I knew I needed to walk the dog and get a shower before 8 anyway so I just got up.

But I felt gross when I got up.  All bloaty and icky.  I didn't want to go to a meeting and weigh in today.  I decided to just do it anyway.

I had a loss...2 pounds exactly since I weighed in almost 2 weeks ago.  I was happy with that.  I used to go to meetings first thing in the morning.  I wouldn't eat or drink anything.  Just go potty, get dressed and go.  I'm braver now and I actually went to the noon meeting.  I had tons of water and breakfast in me. :)

It was so good to be in that meeting with that leader again.  The last couple times I had gone to a different meeting like I said in an earlier post.  Last time I was there I felt like those people were whiny. "There's all this food I want to eat and I just can't eat it...It's so hard!"  I loved the meeting today!  I can eat whatever I want...I may not be able to eat as much as I want, but no food is off limits.  The other side of that is if I don't change the way I eat, how can I expect to lose weight?  Every day doesn't have to be a starvation diet, but I can't eat a pint of ice cream every night and wonder why my pants don't fit.

After the meeting I met a friend for lunch.  We were talking about life, summer, kids.  Somehow WW came up.  She had just signed up yesterday for the online version.  She did the program long ago and has been back and forth with it in the past.  We are planning to go to the meeting next week together.  I'm looking forward to that.

So now I've changed my weigh in day from Friday to Thursday but I don't know if I want to change how I structure my week.  I think it's OK to have it wacky for now.  My weekly points allowance won't refresh until tomorrow.  I have time to go to the meeting and assess how the week went and plan for the next week all afternoon.

I was hoping to walk the dog again tonight but it's a roaring thunderstorm out right now.  I think I will just enjoy it and curl up with my book before my husband comes home from work.

ready for a meeting

I'm not really sure why I'm so excited to go to a weekly meeting, but I am.  I had been going to a Friday meeting with a leader I didn't know.  I didn't want to go to my regular meeting with my "regular" leader.  Mostly because I was embarrassed for her to see that yes, I stopped coming and yes, I've gained weight.  You know, 'cuz she thinks about me that much.

Anyway.  I've decided I don't like that day's meeting so I should go back to my usual thing.  I didn't go last week because of the holiday week and all that was going on.  But I am going to a meeting on Thursday.  I'm ready to go now.  I'm not sure why I feel like I need this so much right now.

I think maybe it's because I'm back in the losing mode....loving it, feeling good, seeing losses on my home scale, feeling better in my clothes.  Maybe it's because I want to just talk about weight loss and how much I love what I'm doing.

I'll be back tomorrow with a weigh in report :)

How long has it been?

I really had abandoned this blog long ago.  I stopped going to WW meetings and was just maintaing on my own.  I started counting calories.  I gained some.  Lost it again.

Then I went through a divorce and lost some without even trying.  It was kind of fun weighing what I did in high school again.  But I was worried that I wasn't taking care of myself well.  I started going to WW again for self care.  I like the Points Plus thing a lot.  No points for fruits and veggies?  Oh, yes!

Then I got remarried.  And like lots of newlyweds, we both gained some weight.  Cooking and eating dinner every night was a celebration again.  It was so much fun.  I didn't want to go to WW.  I wanted to be with my husband.  Part of me just didn't care that I was heavier.  I'm 43.  I've had 6 babies.  Whatever.  But my clothes weren't fitting well.  Then my favorite pair of black pants stopped fitting at all.

Not OK.  I thought I could count calories and that would be fine.  But nothing was happening.  Maybe it's because I'm 43 now and things have changed?  I started going to the rec center for yoga classes and doing the elliptical.  Really not my favorite thing.  Then we got a dog.  Cutest dog ever!

Daisy likes to walk in the morning and after dinner.  I thought this will be good.  I don't have to go do the elliptical.  I can walk the dog.  I will lose weight so easily again.

That didn't happen either.  (Though my legs are getting much more toned again.)

So I went back to WW.  And now I remember why I loved it so much.  I eat.  I eat stuff I like.  I really like fruits and vegetables.  It totally works for me.  I've lost 5 pounds in the few weeks since I have been back.

I feel good.  And more than anything, I feel like I am in control of food and eating and all that stuff again.  I decided to start blogging about it again because I need to talk about what I'm experiencing.  I plan to be back soon. :)